Souls Eye, Eyes of the Heart.

Isit our own forbidden story.

8.

From the moment I saw him, I understood the feeling.. the knowing. The same feel never changed. I pondered on it, never forgot it. Words can’t even explain, I guess my hallucination made me imagine so much, took me into a different part of myself, some parts I had already explored. 9 years is a long time to not forget someone, to somehow disappear in the mist and then be reminded of the one person whom you felt the most without words, although there was so much I wanted to say and did yet still the words weren’t real enough.. I knew saying nothing at the same time was also a way of just allowing myself to just feel or maybe not. Whenever I spoke to him, or was around him I felt that high sometimes making me silent or other times making me want to talk so much. Though I never got so many chances with him, I understood what I felt more than words. The Souls eyes awakened long ago, seeing him in school made me recognize another, just like me. I could write for days but for some reason I’ve given up expressing this, maybe because deep down it hurts but yet its healed.. maybe because I somehow feel that it will never be the same, although its never meant to be is it. Things change. People change.. thats the sad thing about life. The world gets the best of us, swallows us into it’s maze into its hole. I’ve never cared for someone as much as I did he. For me its like the souls eyes knows it doesn’t need to be close, even though it sometimes desires his closeness. I even feel deep down it’s best I let go, the one thing I know is that sometimes that which is so strong can consume and take you away from everything – I don’t want to even think about it.. I shouldn’t. It’s that which is not recognized nor seen but we see.. the unseen in us allows us to see.. to swallow up everything and feel every part smother you and yet never let go.. to dissolve – completely. There will never be another soul who can move me like he did, but there is bound to be others who can relate. Being naked will never be enough, to enter me and me into him is just the beauty of the magnificant essence alive and existing. There is more, it doesn’t matter that it took all of me, there is more – we go beyond what we know, way more. Its not as if he has that hold on me, no man can hold the Christ in a being. They can believe they can by speaking it into existence but we unravel existence.. us unseeners. . where do we come from some ask.. only The Creator knows. Heaven and Earth will pass away but my word will remain.. spoken directly from the Christ. Son of Man, Son of God. My souls eyes I love him, he probably won’t understand that love. I don’t expect him too, I really don’t. Nothing can buy it, the fact it took me too my own madness whether he was the foe or genuine, who knows but I believed it – always did from when I was younger.. I don’t want to say no more. I have to let go.. otherwise i’ll be ripped apart even more.

+

The eyes of the heart was secretive, need I say more? It beated with my own – what did he.. the heart want to prove, that it was just like me? Stepping out to view one – I see you, 3 times in fact. Wondered if you saw into me, if you felt me. . if you did then what did you think. Was this your game too, nosey much?

*smiles* I wonder if you’ve been ripped apart, if so you must of enjoyed the show. Front row seats, maybe? Who knows. Your secretive, silent in your movements.. doing more than what is actually seen. Speak the truth from the heart. It’s deep, we are all deep. Some more than others. It’s not that simple, but it is – should I scream at you? Should I smile or look away quickly? Its not even me is it, the fight, the pull and tug – unrecognized.. It’s hidden comfort. In the warmth of it’s own being – you play hard to get heart, you know it. You just can’t be captured, you were always captured and you always dug and dug and dug and never stopped. You asked and asked and never stopped. Present, held and so it was never outside of yourself – It promised you it would hold you and you believed it.. eyes of my heart – you never lied. I went to that dimension of the heart, the holder of my heart held my hand and I looked behind at the world waving.. being guided through the unknown. Little me. So why did you beat with me? To find out my secrets and what would you do then?

You are just as special, the softness is something delicate.

A roar, I see you.

Inevitable.

Firm.

True.

 

 

 

A Soldier

I’m caught away with something, whatever that something is.

I’ve felt all I could. . . is feeling ever enough.

The mind doesn’t want to battle anymore.

I’m holding strong, I don’t want to be weak. . . I don’t want to fall. I’m staring out of no where but what this place I imagined to be is not exactly a fantasy land. It was never a fantasy, not to me.. but now I’ve been gone with the wind – taken away from everything I knew.. and left not splattered but courageously standing.. I remember. .

Who knew that eyes could make me lose my focus,

a moments heart beat could day-dream my whole sanity. .

A deep stare in slow motion could tickle my inner stomach…

A small talk could excite my being once again.

It’s a hold, no letting go.

A heavy breath, one breath, one pant.. ai..

I won’t run then would I – would be so entangled inside the inside with this natural mystic. . maybe it’s the both of us.

It was never a war, it was reality. Every part of it, every pain, every inner scream of passion, every tear, every word spoken as I walked up and down my bedroom panting. Spiritual cries.. a soul yearning.. I shouted at myself, talked myself out of it all.. Oh the things I did for this feeling.

Everytime I came out the bath and stared at me, naked.. I said nothing. .Just stared. . . no feeling but the space of this invisible person.. this man I never knew.. as the water dried I would silently smile inside. Hugging myself saying it will all be over..

He just don’t know how strong it is..

How weak it can be..

How it can let go. . .

How it can play freely and still not let go of the hold.

Just for he. .

A soldier.

I whisper to myself once again..

“Please young Lady, don’t run. . don’t run. . Be Free”

 

 

Mystery

What am I meant to feel?

How am I meant to continue.

Did I wake up from a dream. . .was this a game on me?

What am I meant to feel, or am I not meant to feel?

Should I just stare, stay quiet and look away as always..

What now…

Somehow it was all triggered, somehow it was all a blur.. I was alive, I saw everything.

This was no fantasy, it was real. I didn’t imagine it. My Spirit..

Yes, my Spirit felt it all and my soul – it was moved..swayed in slow motion yet still capturing the fast movements of my mind.. I was there, like i’ve always been.

My heart’s energy was bleeding and my mind out of control.

Did I drive me there?

All I know is that the love of my life, Christ held me.

Though my heart bled excessively, though I hallucinated and functioned in the blur . . .yet still I saw, experienced and felt. . physically and spiritually.

Holy Spirit never left me, he kept me.. Holy Spirit please don’t ever leave me. . . please xxx

Young Lovers.

It’s gotten old now.

The curtains are purple and the rips cruise on the outlines of the material, expensive silk,

drifting through the home, the rust of the atomsphere sings in the air.

The old wooden tables pushed back against the windows

O’ they look rather lonely, the chairs crying to be seated on.

Where’s the owners?

They’ve deserted the house they built.

Young lovers who at first were attracted to the dance of their quiet souls.

Young lovers’ who were calling eachother from afar, O’ why leave a home a deserted place like so?

Where are you young lovers?

The garden is calling for your sweet flowers to blossom, and the smiles of sweet babies to roll along in the beautiful nature.

Young lovers, why are you hiding?

Its not rotting just yet but if you desert it for much longer will not the bricks become tired and fall in?

Will not the stairs creak and scatter step by step?

How about the taps, will the pipes not burst and no water will be left running through?

Young lovers come back.

The House is calling you, it needs you.

Young lovers come back, you need you.

Young lovers enter into your home.

Young lovers don’t leave the home, alone.

 

 

 

Countless – Amid?

Somehow we are ascending.

Somehow we are possessing more than silver and gold.

How some have eliminated the vision of true perception in the gratifiction of the lures and deception of humanity.

Loves lost? Of course not but it’s ever growing motion is some-what a distinct divergent, an alliance to intrinsic value – a virtue amiss to men but unto an accountable man it is his freedom. We are not in a cycle of systematic law, but a cycle of living truth.

Can you untie my shoe laces without hands, can you shave my hair with a comb. . .is it possible to instill power or isit merely residing in the dormant hands of fear waiting to be released? Do you understand the reality of all three – which is all possible, and truly a matter of ways in a way.

A standard you use for another is the standard used for you.

The unfairness projected is hidden and you hold the clues, amid the imaginations of men some delerious and others emancipated by glee – you are mono-tone to discover the clue which happens in the twirl of the mind, or possibly the heart – the floating of the soul – or maybe the stillness of Spirit..Twirl?

The 360 twirls delights in one’s discovery of resolution of the ultimate surface of reality and then digging into its literal deposits in the soul.

I delight in the proportionate chemistry that is shared between God (The Creator of the heavenly of heavenlies) – and  of his creation in the earthly mother of mankind and yet still the earthly mother is a child of the human race.

The lucid contrast of all and yet subtle simularity is a sweet and undeniable mystery and never-ending in fact.

Countless we are – amid the blur of a clear monumental existence.

Countless Amid – Counting forever – Surrounded by forever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Heart of a Man

We witness. We see ourselves and the world. The world either being in us or us in the world. Is it a strange fact that,

“The heart is decietful, above all things” Jeremiah 17:9

I wonder why we base alot of our life perceptions from this place, from this weary and tired rock where emotions pass through and the electricity of our minds dim the enlightenment of the heart. As humans we long for freedom, and freedom is what we have.. the cages we are in are the perception of the reality given to us but not the reality within reality – which truly goes un-noticed. The small things.

Can a man truly ascend past the limitations of his own wants, desires and fulfilments – can he give up everything he knows and has just to go on a quest for truth?

The hidden abilities of the potential of one’s own soul is a ultimatum – a destiny of his own pact with the greatest force of Life.

Didn’t John say “Greater is he that is in you than he who is in the world” 1 John 4:4

Have we not established that the very heart of a man is an abomination to the true abstract view of society and life?

“Do not judge and you will not be Judged, do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; forgive and you will be forgiven” Luke 6:37

Where can a man go to clear the hidden dirt of the heart, the trickery of its secrets. . .what would it profit him to gain the world and lose his soul at the price of the eyes of his heart being blind.

Are you the choice or is the choice you.

Are you the judge or are you already judged.

Can you truly see, or is your sight an instruction of systematic laws and common known behaviours of a rebel living a lawless life.

We are carved on the cross with Christ, being either one of the thieves on the right hand or left hand of Christ.

One although nearly dying professed his faith to desire more life.. he could see beyond pain, death and the limits of his own body, he saw himself and he saw his unworthiness and realized the power of life to empower him again. Therefore he asked Christ to remember him, and he was promised eternal life in paradise.

Yet the other drowned in his own loathsomeness of his actions, he condemned life and told its power within Christ to save itself. He did not percieve life and could not understand it, because of this his mockery of it showed he was already judged.

Which one are you?

 

As.. was, and still is we are all aware

She’s A Cedar-wood

She’s that cedar-wood that you will rarely find. . Oh spicey, icy..

Her eyes be so divine.

Chocolate skin beauty – all her leaves so nutrient and fruity…

Will you touch her tree. . .

it’s – a comfort breeze. . .

The mountains of Lebanon are shaded by her. . .her roots are

digging in the waters – tapping on to earth . . .protector

of lovers, eccentric undercover… A warrior inside of her – as she electrifies the universe.

She’s that Cedar-wood that you will rarely find..

Oh spicey, Icy.. her eyes be so divine..

Majesty is her presence..

Strength is her essence..

Firm.. is her knowing – they wanna copy her – Too bad –

She’s blurred.

They try and cut her down…

God called them all beserk.

They tried to burn her down, then nature heard – The Spirits of Light came and warred – Yes, they govern her core.

Cedars are the purifiers resistent to rot, their beings are the living fire… babies in their cot.

They are called to ignite – cleansing, healing, praying in providence..

The dreams and The visions are all her covenant.

        She’s that Cedarwood – that you will rarely find…

Oh Spicy, Icy – her eyes be so divine.

 

 

Over Again…

I should be truthful.

This place, this infinite movement of life – this existence in the spiritual essence of our natural beings is a blessing, a beauty far beyond rubies.

Somehow it’s like dancing in the air, gliding through the heavy petals of rain pounding on the sacred earth.

Somewhere in between this it hovers, it stares blamelessly – it laugh’s hysterically it talks to understand, to see you. . .it’s eyes wide open to SEE you. It’s embrace a different home than ever experienced, it’s hold a true comfort but a distant rememberance.

No’one would ever really satisfy this place, it’s hidden – a diamond in disguise, a rough but sharpened sword on the rock and gold refined in the fire.

Knowing this truth, shows me even the calms and pressures of Love is itself it’s own yearning for it’s own, own.

Yet so I wonder, only the presence and home of an ever-seeing and ever-present – eternal being-creator of all can really keep this secret place at an ease.

She ran because she knew it’s true power wasn’t of this world – she would hide and yet still fight. She then came out – and resulted to hiding once again.

All that came with the price of this . . .this precious gift that she shared within with God.. need she say anymore?

The gateways of a world that’s only destruction is to lie, steal, kill and destroy to pollute the beauty of the treasures created from inside.

I want to pull back, I want to avoid what some may not understand. I want to.. silently, with no words. I want to smile and then evaporate into the realities of light.

We all cried Love once.

We all thought somehow we would find it in another.

We all once, loved. . either in betrayal or in give or take.

I face it, another One.

I face it.

The sweat pouring from my head, the heat in my soul tickling my every part of my delicate body. Do you know this.. Spirit. I knew it, but it all came to hit me all again.

It came to show me all that I had to know. Too test all I were.

In a bubble of lies, a system of manipulation, a playground of hallucinations… yet I stare helplessly out the window…helplessly..

As Jesus soothes my strengthened heart – I ponder it all.

For all its worth, should he ever love me, should he even try,

could he ever really know.. would he ever really know.

For all its worth, they all came and saw scarecrows.

Yeah, look at me… go ahead, I know it’s your chance to see isn’t it.

The chance to see the InSane.

To watch it unfold before you

Over Again.

Continue reading “Over Again…”

The One III

It was meant to be continued..

perspective is everything.

You have to die to live. Grace is given for this, is it not.

This divine nature, this spiritual power this gift is the design in which we become one, in ourselves and with eachother.

Should I make it romantic, should cupid come out and point it’s arrow at me?

Should I catch butterflys, and then chase you around. . .or maybe, be hypnotized by you and lose my sanity?

We have choices, there is a will and there is a way.

I guess emotions somehow play a role in this discovery but they have no say on the outcome. The deepest self, the spirit is a lamp to God, searching through the inmost self and yes this part of our connection to the Supreme determines our outlook and our perception on the mysteries we find in the essence and presence of divine love.

A young woman as myself, in search of nothing but life and it’s fulfilling gifts, it’s treasures in Spirit in the mist of distractions and false concepts..

To tell the truth I once fell in the trap to the seed that was meant to destroy men. Yes, the good and evil – the serpent seed somehow tried to destroy my knowledge on Love – but it could not take away the God in me, the Christ in me.

The serpent was cursed, she was cursed and he was cursed, this whole order was corruption.

I was born on solid rock and found my way through life with the solid rock by my side. The whispers of the lies, that the serpent tried to feed me so it can take my seed and hallucinate me as one day I breed new borns in this world with no Godly character, instruction, foundation, education, and spiritual awareness of all in all – connected in One-ness of life..to have dominion in what God has given them. The lies wanted me to fall a victim to it, to become it. To run wild in romance, as I pondered on the special one, the one to sweep me away and even so to control how it would happen, to lead it to happen, to gain as much information to bring him to me. . .to think I could possibly be in the same lane as God is destruction. Oh how knowledge is deceptive.. to come out of your knowing-free and true in you-to be whipped by the illusions of love-the whisper of a lie, to turn the order into a mess.

She was decieved.

She needed to understand it was not her call to make decisions abruptly, for her own hidden agenda, she needed to have consent. With who?

The God who lives in her, and her submission is to God before any man but the gift of Men is the gift of seeing God alive in him, a head, a decision maker and one who brings his one and only in equal union with him.

She is subject to him and must pass everything to him to make an equal decision. I can’t know everything and I am not designed to lead in anyway that means calling the shots above a man, who do I think I am. Do I live ordained by man or by God. Divine love is the The Father, The Son & Holy Spirit alive and at work within him and me, our family and the home in which we choose to build.

To desire to know more than what has been allotted me will lead me in the hands of a lie, to stay one in the truth I already have within me and blossom with it inside my soul – surely will lead me to the all knowing prosperity from the Tree of Life. The Holy Spirit always spoke to me and showed me what I had to understand even when it hurt, we always keep learning and growing and I learnt when we are eager to love and to share ourself without truly knowing the full extent of Love in us, ascending through us and its true origin beyond us with all and in all – out of the universe – unmeasured – omni through what we cannot even begin to imagine, you will break down.. you won’t be strong because mens knowledge of Love is a deception, that will kill you. . only a man who holds that true love can die to live again.

True Love is found on the cross, implemented on one’s own relationship with the grace of God within their Spirit creating in them a better character, a new man, willing to walk in the full image of Love and share that relationship with someone else and the whole world.

The 2 become 1 is an act of sanctification, a will of a supreme power at work between a spiritual being and their creator.. the tree of good and evil to the tree of life, making love through the pain.. the pain we all choose because we live blind to the truth.. even so this same act of sanctification as shown between 2 individuals who have seen the mercy, forgiveness and love from their creator must show it towards one another – the sacred out of this world love but enters in us because it’s imprint is still with us, by us, guiding us.

God is Our Sacred source – He is the head – She is his side.

Now the origin of the truth can manifest and their home be blessed.

She must lean on God, for God is her sword, her meekness, her submission, her authority, her strength – making her an equal heir to this gift of life, alongside the precious man in whom pursues her.

Her Love is an anchorite.. the man whose Spirit has returned to it’s true knowledge of its fruitfulness and his leadership, and his essence empowered by the Love from the heavens can only capture her.

The One is in all who have found the true One within them.

The Tree Of Life.

CHRIST.

LOVE ETERNAL, LOVE FOR LIFE, A LOVE SUPREME IT ALWAYS LIVES ON.

We knock on it’s door everyday and it awaits our call.

One.

The Pursuit of Love

You’ve seen a feather right?

The way it flows and has it’s own rhythm.

You’ve seen a singing bird haven’t you, sitting on the bark of a  sweet cocoa tree relaxing to it’s own melodies.

You have seen two lovers, hold on tight to eachother – that sweet surrender of a comfort gaze in eachother eyes. Do you know what it takes for us. . .they echoe to the world, for us to feel this way, be this way, give this way – to be empty and full of eachother – free and yet joint – one but yet individuals.

Vulnerability. Intention. Mastery.

These are elements of ourselves we use everyday, sometimes we hardly recognize it. I often time’s wonder why the revelation itself to this supreme essence of our beings is unexplainable, words try to tell the tale of an infant growing..learning and branching out.

Words are a fragment of this pursuit.

We linger behind them hoping they come out correct, that they are organized and not muddled. In an exhausting yawn I’d say they are never ending words.

Poetry, conversations, debates, arguements, letters, stories, songs, rap’s, sign language, speeches and any more beautiful ways that we use words to articulate our emotions and express feelings.

Each civilaztion must learn what the pursuit of love is, each generation must undergo the trials of intimate living – the trials of Spirits who long for deeper sense of Life.

A tree is beautifully perched on the soil, to and fro it’s branches and leaves wave to every living being. The waters beside it recieving it’s love as it intimately connects with the particles released in the air. . .this is the flow of their aliveness – their own friendship.

In sync.

You and I, I and You, Us both.

Imagine dissolving with the ocean.. becoming the water itself, to chase the wind as it beats against your wave. To hold the boat as it leans on you for strength, to wash his feet as he stares out at the far end of the sea, mesmerized by the soft touch of the ripples.

Its real right? Us.

We keep beginning and as people we never want to slip away, sometimes we do though. To not be weighed down by the unfortunate realities in the world but to honour the truth in the reality of it taking place.

Souls in a land burderned with unpleasent history.

It lurks in the forests, an ambush of rebels – a howl of an owl – informing all living creatures of an intruder, yes..

The earth cries blood of innocent men, the suffering of helpless women, screams of children playing, wails of a hungry baby.

The world.

It unexpectantly forces you to be silent, pulls you in and pushes you out.

Do we grow too quick.

Do we seek much.

Are we learners of a superior world out of this solar system – I’d answer that question as yes.

Its the forbidden fruit that led us to question all that we ever were, who in which we were to serve. It was the forbidden fruit that carved a deep longing inside us, to desire depth of a life questionable and unquestionable. It was with us, it was us, the longing was not longing, it was your side and mine.

Era’s of human philosophy transcending limits of the evolution of men yet circulating in the same bubble. We sought to be in touch, yet we are untouching the touch – the ever breathing emotion of what is.. not us but all.

No matter what goes on in life we solve not everything, for minds of men are occupied with the thoughts of the ‘morrow or how to provide for today.

Society has changed much.

Life has changed, and continues to do so. *smiles*

We must bear in mind, nothing is new under the sun.

We ought love in One.

It’s easier said then done isn’t it. Some of us hide away from such pollution, some of us seek to build better for our loved ones, some of us tired and exhausted of a system that has no nutrients, but is a disease to human nature.

Yours sincerely, we aspire to be words so dearly.. that smother you with home and glee.

Where is home, and what is our glee.

The heart has the knowledge of its own – and in that building it forms a home. The Spirit has a quietness to its being, within it lies a soft glee of essence transcending time and eternity.

Where there is nothing, nothing but the sweet merry feather floating in the air . . .

Right in the mist of that feather, flys a dove and behind the dove a sweet angel sings a song ‘My little sunshine’

The pursuit of love could none else be but the experiment of life’s whole existence, not me, not you, or we but the talking prescence alive between it all.

Observing as it was, as it is and now.

Let there be light, and yes.. it shone and formed all for all to see.

Silence.