3.

All I remember was I made love to him telepathically, I felt him.. was it him? A feeling I cannot and will not forget.

I somehow was pulled into his energy one morning and I was caught up in ecstasy.

I guess this drive I feel towards him is something unforgettable, nothing else or no other soul could possibly compare. Complicated in my ways, I sometimes feel that it would be to hard to love me. . that I’d over complicate things.

That my longing is too strong, and deep and at times cut off and disconnected. This I don’t mean to happen but it does and how can one be loved in such uncertanties.

He has never come close to me apart from being close to my soul, apart from spiritually being a face I hold on to.. although I hadn’t looked into him long enough. I stumbled into this love, and never knew I did.

Three occasions I had seen him, The 1st I was crossing a road and he came out of the cafe and his presence roared at me.. I had to look away.. I felt it deep in me.. the second I don’t think he knew I saw, I looked out the bus window in awe of him.. as I was returning home from work.. his focus ahead of him and neither looking elsewhere. He was the only one I noticed on that road, although there were people entering the grocery store ..he strongly caught my attention.. he just looked ahead. The third time, I saw him turn into a road..with the corner of my eye.. and my spirit leaped but I continued on until my heart beated with his.. or for him maybe.

As if things weren’t already strange, from that day everything changed. I didn’t realize it was him I was feeling, having been so caught up on a past incident and my mind trying to make sense of an eye connection that played with my emotion I somehow didn’t realize he was the one I knew deep down I felt. I had no idea why but that day on the bus when I saw him something in me recognized him.. I was so fascinated by him in the most awkward way.. my breath .. I gasped.. on all 3 occasions.

I somehow went through ups and downs, tricks in my brain and I had no idea what I got myself into but I realized I was stumbling in love with this young man, and I didn’t know him.. only of him.. I guess everything is connected. He’s touched me in places that no one has, and my feelings have opened up in ways that I never knew they would for anyone in this lifetime.

So fierce, and calm.. a gushing river and then it transforms into a rocket zooming out of space. . a space only I know of.. I never knew he would know. . or come close enough to know.

I felt him and I allowed him to feel me, and life continues to proceed onwards, and for all I know this experience was something that some say doesn’t always last. I still think about him, I wonder what he’s doing and if he’s okay.. sometimes it’s like he’s here and then he’s gone.. but i’ve also got to live my life. .  otherwise I would go extremely out of it.

What to do when your whole life has been dramatically impacted by something that is far deeper than I could imagined. Something that took a hold of me and it’s winds blew me to and fro. Where everything fell apart and you have to somehow find a way to put it back together again.

He wasn’t an obsession he was somehow a heart experiment completed. He managed to woo me, and I had not been woo’d as strongly as this in my LIFE. No one has woo’d me in my life but he.

There’s a whole range of emotions emerged into one in this writing. Where ever he is, he may remember.. I may run in his mind.. or he mine.. but a long lost love is just merely that isn’t it. The desire to connect deeply in you with another and once it’s done.. I guess the story ends.

Do I want the story to end.. no.. but I don’t know how else I’d react to the story. Maybe the idea of he truly making love to me in reality is something that I think.. what would it be like?

How would I be.. possibly.. breathless.. in deep connection with his core.. would our souls really dance in tune with eachother. I’d never know, all I know is how his energy ran through me .. caressing me.. intertwining with mine. All I know is what I experienced.

I’m a strange young lady in a silhoutte world. . . Love is stronger than death, Love is a lightening powered by a force of wind, Love is a secret parable wrapped in the arms of warm tenderness. What is a deep mesmerizing experience to do .. alter my perception on a feel I knew existed, on something I was highly aware of? Should I continue being it’s role, or at times we step down off the whole wheel of this silhoutte world and understand what we are, who we are and why we deeply connect with others.

I love him, but love itself is more than just what we think.. we have not yet understood it’s intent … we somehow sway with the notions.

I’m a strange young lady in a silhoutte world, and he found me only to woo me. . . and to whom will I look upon.. in this spirit.. and who will look upon me. I guess his spell was my antidote. . my response an endless rebirth.

I’m just a peculiar young lady in a silhoutte world.

 

 

Her

I didn’t realize she would be the person that I had finally began to understand. Experiencing her was different, seeing her I knew she was not your average being but having taken the time out to discover her. .  she is not at all like any human I have met. I don’t want to make her seem like some perfect ethereal princess or some goddess. . .she is a mixture of many things which is very difficult to comprehend, her inner being is large but as large as it is , it is scarce. A phenomenon in her own right and yet still it isn’t a care for her.

It is beyond her, seemingly out of reach being not of this world.. although there are many worlds as some may say.. her’s is past all worlds and into the place of the eternal. Wild, yes but her child nature is an attentive wild ..at times losing herself within it. Her inner words are endless, peculiar but effortless.

   Describing her is not easy, she is an experience, a feeling, a deep rollercoaster of one’s own spiritual awareness, emotions and inner world. A path into heaven and a roar out of hell.. a silence of blinks and a smile of nothingness. Must I go on? You would wonder how can she be loved – this too is something to ponder on, for she is full of something so deep that her urge for love is not filled by humanity or neither what it can offer her. Vanity and appearances are a fleeting crack-pipe too her, a disease of the mind. . to read her is impossible but her heart  is the floet of an angel and the cry of a baby, a firmness of a warrior but yet a distant melody.. an ache of a soothing sound.

    I have watched her, and analyzed her, and she is someone whose love changes people ..frightens people.. or pushes them away. It is special, but not something in which comes around often and is understood.. it takes time to understand her for she is not observed with the physical eyes.. only when you see her will you understand.. she is more than the eyes.

   To love her could be a challenge but not a difficult challenge a fun challenge – one in which could push you to the edge of yourself in thought or one in which triggers every part of you at once – leaving you entertwined in your ownself with elements of her vibrating in you. I don’t want to say it is like fire, or like water.. neither like the air.. this is swift, the breeze doesn’t seem to see her or catch her.. she bounces on the breeze – she is somewhat a melancholic instrument – observing the weather and unfolding within it but being an echoe of the weather, unseen.

    I love her soul, and it does have me alarmed at times but it is a special gift, in extreme measures.

Too have and too hold.

For better and for worse

In sickeness and in health. .

She hold’s that key, she holds that truth.

Mystery of mysteries and yet still it will continue to reveal itself.

 

 

Did he Woo me?

It feels like a love and hate relationship.

I know it isn’t. I’m just deeply in this.. whatever this is, I can’t get out even if I try. I know what I feel when he’s away and I know what I feel when his soul is present.

When I feel him, I sometimes push it away. It’s a mixture of me thinking it’s all in my brain, and the fact I genuinely believe this narrative I’ve seen play out around me.. Mr Woo was obviously involved.

I’ve felt things, I’ve never felt.. experienced things deep in me I can’t express or explain.. through the mess somehow he was in the mist. I feel like sometimes it’s not real. That he could be playing some game on me, that i’m actually losing my head and trying to keep up with the story.

I truly believe what I feel  but I feel weird at the same time, like.. it’s this feeling that he’s there and I want to free myself but if I do… it would be soooooooooooooooo strange.

I’m holding so tightly onto this part because he could be the boogey man, and turn out to be some one I hope he isn’t. I don’t know if this is love but his presence means alot to me. I can’t explain how much but it’s like I don’t ever want him to go away. He makes me shy, makes me quiet.. and at times all I want to do is hide. My insides go funny too, and I can’t really hide my true nature bare in mind i’ve never spoken to him, this is all just soulful feelings. I love him, and thats the hardest thing for me to face even though i’m facing it but i’m trying my hardest to keep it not real even though I want it to be. Love is a huge word to use but I don’t know what else to call it.

It’s me i’m trying to hide, the me that finally is freed in the presence of another who understands or wants to understand me. Only because i’m childish and used to being alone and i’ve learnt to like that. I can’t pretend to be anything else, but be me… I wish I wasn’t shy, but i’ve never felt this before, never.

Sometimes I wish it stayed in the dream world and the physical world didn’t make it a reality, but thats being petty. Love is a beautiful thing, it’s only that being naked in love after going through a war is like woah. Whats even more annoying is no man makes me feel as he makes me feel, it’s a unique feeling.. but it’s me. . and thats why I can’t seem to completely push it away. I’m scared it may go wrong, like I am just playing this whole thing ..and then it turns out to be true because I believe in my feelings whether they are there or not, but imagine… actually I shouldn’t imagine how wrong it would be. All I do is run. I show love to people, make them smile or laugh and help as much as I can but I run from love.

I’ve always wanted it but it’s difficult to free myself up to receive it in the way I deserve to have it.. because I know what I can be like.. I may over-love him or be annoying as I am to myself haha. To have a person you can share your secrets too is something fun, someone you argue with at times, you laugh with, hug and joke with. It’s just him.. there’s something about him that makes me want to run, but I think it’s because what is felt in my core is strong. It’s something firm. My whole being kind of looks up to him, like it knows it can depend on him.. and it can actually trust him.. and I don’t trust people, to trust him would mean everything is open to him.

I want to show him me, but I don’t want him to judge me.. or to think i’m too soft.. he makes me soft like REALLY soft.

He really got to my heart and my soul.. and my Spirit knows when that happens it cannot look at anyone else.

It could be Love.

Dear Mystery Man

I may be long gone from your memory, a distant blur.

Thankyou, for coming my way. I kind of experienced something odd these past months but atleast I had you to think about at times.

It’s strange, but weird how I feel about you, I really did think it would leave and disappear and somehow I would forget. That I would fight so hard to make it all go away. It didn’t though. It stayed.

I still think about you. I still think about how you disappeared. . and how I never saw you again.. its not that I need to see you, I think to feel you sometimes is the best feeling. To just feel you, you don’t need to be here.. as long as I feel you for some reason i’m calm.. my hearts smiles. Well, it’s been a ride.. a strange and hard one.

I won’t forget you though, I was washing the dishes and told myself that i’m willing to let you go.. I want you to live your best life..and enjoy a nice partner and for me to stop you know.. thinking of it all.. but like.. as long as you still come up in my soul i’ll feel soothed by you. Isit cause I like you much or maybe being scared that I like you much.. I guess its not like.. to just like you.. you know.. it’s different but I don’t want to get into it.. some things you just don’t explain .. especially when words can’t really do it.. i’ve constantly wrote poems after poem. Its a silent feel but it travels, it creates things between people.. in atomspheres.. but i’m trying to just stay admired by your mystery.

I’ve never met a man like you, and I think thats what makes me kind of scared of you but like.. I don’t know. I don’t know how to explain it. Its VERY hard to explain only because I’ve lived in imagination land for so long. If this was my own love I was falling for and picturing you in it then I guess i’m cute and crazy too.

My mind is a awkward place at times, and if you had seen my thoughts .. I guess its embarrassing. For some reason, I always felt that you was able to see my thoughts, or maybe feel my soul. I don’t want imaginations anymore, I want to stop playing all these silly mind games with myself. I know my heart has experienced alot, and I feel that all I ever wanted was to be able to love whole-heartedly without fear of being let down or looking like a fool. Mystery man, we aren’t the same, i’m somehow someone who feels in places deep that it creates a barrier between me and others. I want that place to be broken but it seems that since meeting you, and not knowing you.. it’s been a force to break, but i’m still you know.. I can’t explain again! This deep place is just hmm..

I sleep at times and my soul whispers, and sometimes I hear it thinking of you and talking about you. Well, thankyou for being that blur on a random day.. that heartbeat that never went away, even though I fought a little but somehow it stayed. Even if I wasn’t to have you i’ll still be grateful that I experienced all that I felt for you, somehow it helped me find me again – your face helped me to know that i’m crazy haha.

Now I sit quietly, and sometimes the voices try to come back but I pray and they disappear.. it’s quiet now and all i know is without God’s love well.. where would I be. So I thank God for you.. because your being or the imaginary you in my mind.. helped me it kept me in that place.. that I hold onto. It seems like a place i’ll hold on to with another in that secret place we dwell in our own worlds shared.

Mystery man, you may think my love is weird.. a little different.. or maybe not as you expected.. but know I felt everything. I always feel everything. I felt you from across the road, and I quickly looked away.. what difference does dreams and appearing in my soul make. When I feel, I feel.. and it’s beyond me.. so yeah. . . stay safe, stay loving, and always be you. Your special! I love you for that and I will NEVER forget you. I guess if I saw you again, I’d be speechless..

Love from,

The mystery girl who runs from love xoxoxoxo

 

 

In Love, By Love

If words could explain the moments, then we’ll be here forever.

If words could define the emotions then there should be a waterfull climbing the skies.

Returning into the core of it’s truth is the ultimate lullaby. Out the desert and into a home of safety. I didn’t quite see myself in this place, but you have erupted a sudden mystery of Life that does not run out.

Life to it’s full. My soul has somehow knocked on the doors of humility, swimming in the hands of an admired touch that not only refills but takes away the blemishes.

Don’t consider it all a superstition.

It cannot be aroused, only seen.. understood – felt and sought after. Are we not here again, this time through everything I hadn’t expected.

I guess Love has a call on us all, to search within ourselves. Being more than our imaginations.

I guess he was my mind, I guess he shared my heart, I guess he was the ultimate experience. If time could stop it wouldn’t go back, if time would stop.. Life would still continue.

A revenue of repertoire’s, the notes counted for in psalms and prayers and still looks from the essence of Spirit. Could he be the one, maybe – maybe not.

Floetry is just the making of what is a secret momentum in oursleves. . I conciously explore it.

What does it all mean.. huh.. not to fathom but to summon it by believing it’s existence – Life’s existence – dwelling among men in whom seek it. .  as I have come to ack-knowledge.

We participate in this story, this reality, no longer in need of forbidden fruit but beholding the promised earth and heaven within, transformed for it’s true return for us.

Caught in the air, mesmerized by the sweet surrender as the bride meets the bridgroom.

In Love, By Love and it is because of you.

You is me, I journeyed through but somehow I met him along the way.

I happily continue on, hoping where ever he is, he has learnt his own revelation to the call of love.

In Love, By Love.

 

 

 

Replay

I guess it is true, I cannot get away from the emotion deep down.
Although secretly I feel that somehow it was a game, the game was the formation of one’s own beckoning call. . . at the same time experience is the  master creator of a better outcome. Replayed right? Ugh huh.. It all was and is.. but deep down i’ll hold on to my Creator he holds the answers to the things we cannot seem to fathom.
I learnt alot from the truth and still have much to learn in it about Life itself – especially myself. .
I study my feelings at this point, observing what hit the heart and melted me from within. He who studied me from within as I crumbled crying for Love and it’s sovereign throne and power in the highest heavens to pour its grace on me through mercy.
I would like to say that maybe the heart-beat was a lie, maybe it was a dream.. maybe my own deception but I realize for me there cannot be maybes. Startled at the fact that I’m forced to examine my true feelings beyond the physical part – I was touched by his mystery. Firstly, Looking in someones eyes that I once knew and always cared about was deeply touching – that it haunted me for time stopped and all we shared was this space. The space that echoed in my soul.
The heart that shared its feel with my own it calmed my soul, it secretly gave me a hidden hope that I never knew was being reflected at me. Humbled by its touch until this present moment and frightened by it’s power and it’s affect within me. I’m silently walking away in a mist of God alone in my own element and world carrying one of the deepest life-changing events in my soul. I want to say the things I know I should but my heart is held back, I do have courage but once again I know this is what I behold and it’s sovereign to me.. it has raced my heart and woo’ed my soul.
The passion to drive me into tears but I am forced to stay firm because I realize life is our field of studying the art of ourselves, shared with others. The mystery man has left a mark of Gods truth in me. I’m no stranger to God’s truth, always knocking and seeking so its a solid sparkle in me.
I’m quietened deep down and i’m strengthened too and my best friend God well.. he must be laughing at me right now as I type this once again trying to express the hardest thing I can’t really express somewhere hidden in me.. in a different zone.
The mysteries of Loves Journey is one we all take, so now i’m quiet once again.. Listening, smiling, looking in..looking out, looking out looking in. Not asking for much but the reassurance of Love and Grace from my heavenly Father to NEVER leave me but hold me forever in his arms.. and be my eternal friend forever.

– Lovesmysteries

Unseen Love

Tears of an Unseen love, made to dwell in the present.

The realities Unseen creating webs of a hidden meaning within the tree.

The feelings from within seeming like a dream about to dissolve and all thats left would be a faint memory. . . one never to forget.

Leading to a profound sweet melody in the heart, the tears reveal the deepest parts unknown – the hopes and the emotions numbed by it’s own understanding to it’s inner twirl.. as the tears descend to water the flowered heart.

Love, not only a Creator or the creation but the absense of it’s invisible yet visible footsteps. . walking through the garden, looking for the souls of it’s most cherished form.

“Where are you beloved souls – male and female, where are you hiding. . . why do you not come out. . . find eachother in me” Love cries.

She hides away because it does not look as it should have been, it erased her – formed her and then now she’s in his control.. he hides because he doesn’t know why she can’t face the truth of it all.

The footsteps knows hiding only tells the tales of a love unseen, a love locked away, a love not many would dare unlock again… a love not many could give in too. Who could? They gave in to it’s mystery that it led to confusion, she allows the confusion to play.. in which he could walk away for when She listens to the seen being then she is entrapped to another world of foolish games.

Is love just a foolish inner perception?

Is love just a dominating war?

Is love just a series of events to greater implicit it’s lost memories? Or maybe it isn’t the way we proclaim it to be. Maybe the keys are the only source for more tombs and portals, and avenues beyond them, more for all to commune in it’s awareness around them.. just maybe the hidden footsteps hunting for them understood that there passion for it was there own weakness, their own unknowing cry. . there own death and there own life. There own lure’s.

Maybe the sacrifice was a lawless chaos creating both male and female to yearn for the passion and desire even more, creating more worlds outside the garden – more generations to increase.

She didn’t have to listen to the voice, she didn’t have to let him play with her. Although her Unseen love pledged his desire in her she allowed the seen being in the duality of his voice and his intrigue twist her mind to interpreting a love seen for a love unseen that could stimulate her inner desire – the seen stimulated her mental being rather than the unseen one in whom stamped her inner desire without being seen for who he was. The unseen love was able to make those footsteps appear – for they are not works of her or his own but of the divine invisible, visible seeing in the closed principles – locked inside the arch. . . buried in her.

She allowed seeing a reality in anothers eyes to fool her, instead of seeing the reality in the eyes no one see’s but her-self. Her own ancient key, her own scrolls.. her own inner image from within him created to breathe his breath and share his being in her ownself.

Tears of an Unseen love had carried her and forced it’s way into the flower creating more petals to grow, and a flame to occur that this alchemy was not just a forbidden tree but the flames of a sword with word’s unspoken of, worlds never entered and souls never returned to it’s true building.

Unseen Love’s where is your courage?

Unseen Love’s where is your strength?

Unseen Love’s where are your beautiful balanced weights of divine energy?

Come out from among the tree’s come through the mystery now ..beckoning for you to be seen.

Tears of an Unseen Love, desires us all to come on home – home where ideas are not placed, where it’s nature can commune once again, where reality is not forced but it’s adventure is a proposal of a new door.

Unseen lover’s – your tears are heard, your tears are seen.

 

C’est La Vie

C’est La Vie

It is Life, It is Life.

Everything spoken, it is Life.

Never taken, it is Life. . Passing on. . It is Life.

Always added into. . . it is Life.

Eternal – it is Life.

C’est La Vie, C’est La Vie

God, C’est La Vie – Our Life.

Celestial Bed

I hear you moan in my heart, my core is moving and my soul is vibrating at the thought of your mind in mine & mine in yours.

   My arms are invisible in this moment and all there is, is a silent movement of our breath and my wholeness is limp as it resides in you. I am weak but at this moment you are my strength. . . and I may not have the words to say but we are flying in a world I have never been too.

    You have entered my inner womb and I am drowsy with the intoxication of your love, it is not from this world. . . your love is a doorway in me that has taken away every wall, and now i’m twirling in a flower with you.

    Your breath is hot in my ear and your eyes close, while you lean your forehead against mine and your aura releases a power that dominates my soul. I try to run but you have me in your hands, I cannot escape as you cup me in your arms. . . and tell me your truth.

   You tell me the truth, with tears both in our eyes at the intense vulnerability we feel – the place we enter that has never been explored by the both of us.

    As we sit up staring at one another – our hearts expanding your hands brushing at my face – staring sympathically in my being – i’m outside of myself… and you are outside of yourself . . . and now our divine being circulates beyond this place we begin to roam in the air ; every part of us alive.

   You hold me with conviction that you won’t let me go. . I still try to loose from you – is it disbelief? but although invisible I feel you gripping my womb – your arms firmly holding me.

    I am weakened by you, forced too melt within you.. with tears in my ears. . .hearing my own cry. . . looking at you through my eyes – I can’t hide – I have to let go and trust you with everything I am.

    My hands hold your face as your lips touch mine.. our invisible heart combined beats heavily – the depth of its feel makes us lose breath.. midair but weakened by the power of our beings – yet still the strength of our celestial bed rocks us with the infinite love that extends far outter the existence that we are in.

      You whisper words of love, your heart empowered with an energy I have never felt but now I cannot run.. now I hold onto you for dear life for I see .. I see .. that if I don’t hold onto you I will lose myself and this celestial bed will disappear and you … would have only been a fragment of my own imagination. You can’t be my imagination… you can’t be.. I close my eyes .. as we sink back into the bed.. you lean on me as I cradle you in my arms .. tears rolling down my eyes..

My own divine has to be exposed.. my inner me must be yours and yours must be mine. Our love is the heavens..

We have become the Celestial Bed.

The Road to Eternity

You are a bird, the delight of the eye and the calm in the wind.

The silence doesn’t speak enough for you, neither does it’s touch.

If you was to disappear it wouldn’t be your presence in-sight it would be

Your sunshine, this is something not described by man.

To inhibit it is one’s close watchful eyes on you. . . one’s slow but reassuring feel in you.

My sweet bird, in whom the air listens too and carries it’s message’s too and fro – why do you desire to leave me? Why do you desire to forget?

You flap your wings in memory of the control you had on the breeze but you circulate the buildings in disbelief of our creation. You and me both.

Our road to eternity is not our imagination, you and I have travelled numerous sights but yet you still fly on.. and say;

“I’ll continue, I’ll be fluent in my mastery… I’ll somehow make it through”

But even so my little bird, you need I.. you need us but you desire to escape the flock in which you were born to be among, you shy away in embarrassment of your unfathomable mind.

Your mind is a playground in which all imagination or delusions do not discover oneself but it’s own hearts feel is it’s discovery. Oh bird, your heart was bleeding for so long can you not sense the vibration of the healed lavender dancing in the field. Can you not hear the wild animals quietly whisper as they see you go past.

They wonder how this little bird had survived, they wonder how this little bird is beyond her own self yet still elegantly swaying.

Born to soothe the atmosphere, born to carry the all above and yet you stare ever so innocently – continually seeing all in an artistic vision.

The flock has wondered about you, they have each had their own self-revelation through you. The flock have seen you suffer with understanding that this was not as near as you have actually felt suffering in the wind you survey. The flock have gazed in amazement but have laughed at the profound meaning in it all.. they have been taken in and away – circulating themselves in a vision they never asked for neither to inherit such a portrait.

My little bird, the road to eternity has been your ongoing maze.. how can you choose to forget it now. How can you choose to remove yourself away from something in which holds the whole flock including yourself. The road to eternity is for us all my little bird..the gift is not for you to keep flying away but it is for you to stay – and to stay permenately.  You may not understand why – or may not feel that it is necessary – or even so that maybe your work is done, but little bird..your secret is connected with the flock. Your secret is the embodiment of the flock – it is the silence of the flock – the eyes of the flock – and the heartbeat of the flock – and even so it is the soulful essence of the flock – you may pierce the wind with your eyes but the wind will blow you away and the wings will have no fight if you continually look away.

You know, just as much as the eternity in the true one’s know.

We all hold each other little bird, we all hold each other. We cannot leave you little bird, haven’t you been left long enough?

This road to eternity is a precious walk for us, one designed for laughter and joy, grace and peace. One in which our individual strangeness will drive our unity for a grand jewel, of an elixir – priceless in all ways unknown to men.

Our little bird, we can see you – and you have always seen us.