He/r Liberty – – ^

Confined?  No.

Free? Ones Spirit is with the wind, graciously.

Like the whispers of the air polluted with mixtures of gas, the oxygen and nitrogen particles swimming – I am a stranger.

A stranger yet so familiar in this place, a feather flies out the sky and dances with the rhthym of its own flow – as I seek to fly with the bird and build my nest.

To be by the barn stocking on the hay, singing songs of freedom, as my thoughts are in the bay joining forces with the sea, within the grand creation of the ocean.

A hidden Sumurai – the way of the warrior, a buried Diamond that has found it’s way out the soil – the scorching heat of the sun melting the grounds and revealing the glistened beauty, yes the solid creation of earth itself. A secret Anthropologist working for a society that is – present in the highest heavens – activated on planet earth.

Bewildered it may seem but comforting as the breeze.

There is silence.

There are words.

There is silence.

Should I be a superhero and unleash my electrical powers in my super saiyan nature, but who will catch me.

An Aloe, evergreen leaking out the echoes of vera.

Do I uphold this as power?

Is this a cause for revolutionaries?

All aboard captain! Ai Ai. . . The ship is on the move..

We won’t be using ships this time, will we.

A drum beat – sounds of the heart of the jungle, rhythmic

glide of the feet of a poised Gazelle. A group of Zebra’s huddled together – their stripes confusing the adversary – Do you recognize me as I you?

The beat is pounding on the sands of the desert, the life force gushing through.. belting as the heart of the melody releases ripples in the modern world.

Here it comes: The art of existence, the masks of color, the oak.. settled in a promise spoken to a Spirit swallowed by the Sea – yet One was saved for the promise to one day be seen.

Run! Run! Run!

We cannot look back, we have forged a commune –

We are well aware. . Now one beckons..


Liberty, Liberty, Liberty.

O’ Fellow – I bow at you. Marvel at your. . muscular endurance –  Structure of the earth, treasures within the rock, territory of Life – Ye.

Kingdoms Collide.

Oceans Rise.

Yet we Remain.

What must I do.

What must I say.

Are we not an Indigenous people?



The One (Part II)

Despite the longing for love, she can’t really fall for it can she?

She will show you she cares, only to hide away. She will show you who she is, only to escape.

She’s not really escaping is she.

She’s tried, but Love although free, has somehow..

restricted her. She wasn’t born to growl, neither to bark, or to roar without a valid reason.

The knowledge of love burned her soul, ripped her into pieces – year after year.. her young soul growing and questioning the evolution of this ecstatic dance.

The worst happened, she still danced. Lonliness and she still danced.. wars took place and she danced – Oh how Love appeared not to be fair. Why wasn’t she allowed to fall, she had to stand through it all, even as her own enemy. When it seemed like she fell it wasn’t a fall, it was a trip that she understood.

Trips leave bruises. She may have tried to cover them but in trying to cover them she found pleasure in feeling their pain. Dabbing at the wound, laughing at how it hurt. .She found it amusing, even after the tears. So was she mad, no matter how sweet she may have been – even when she lied to her ownself.

O’ Sweet one, where are you running to?

O’ Fiery light of the existing one’s where are you going?

It is here you found yourself to be, where else can you flee to?

She didn’t need to be good enough, although she questioned how good she was. How good could she be, trying to balance her scales. Can she blame it on being a Libra.. the old wives tale. Seeking to balance her whole being each cell begging to be liberated and challenged to reach its ultimate balance and calm. There were times she wanted to bark – times she wanted to growl – times alone when she would whimper and other times there were no noise but SILENCE.

Does Love really capture us or the moment?

Way past the horizon where soul meets soul..

Does love really reside between the between.

I guess its a reflection of Spirit.

She could be helpless in this source, completely light as a flower, or a vicious weapon, lethal and untamed on the leash devouring all in her way?

Would she ever understand this source in her.

Oh how I’d love to be loved” and so she imagines.


A courageous thought, that is. . . for to her it is not simple, her roar larger than herself. She is meant to love, to bow, to free her being and let loose all she is to whom? Maybe she just falls for the wrong one. The one who sees the weapon and manipulates it, is that what she deserves after all, didn’t she take the lead before he was supposed too. She is at fault, she deserves to be mad for love.. gagging desperately .. ferocious in the hallucinations – completely gone with the wind or maybe not quite so?

She’s built for silence, she’s built for simplicity. Shes built for smiles here and there. She rather hide her face than truly be seen, but if ever seen she must be gracious. She prefers the unseen though for in that world she see’s – Light that is, in that light darkness must be exposed.

The ladder of divine ascent.. she continues the mystery.

I guess the wrong one drives you mad, makes you see the insanity of their ownselves in you. . or you in them. We somehow want to figure it out, we all want to figure it out.. but she.. she.. believes its existence is somewhat a tool, a mere strategy, to glide in the omniscient existing source. . and yes she recognizes it can backfire onto her – This tool, this strategy we name Love can succumb her, to where ever her heart is set in that moment.

The heart is decietful above all things, yes – this she knows.

She has always been aware of it, but the heart has been too large to control, it somehow controlled her, until Spirit intervened yet still, the heart continued to overpower her soul – Oh how madness had to teach her, the game. . . the game she hated to play but stupidly found herself being cradled by it.

Never fully giving in but desiring to only walk away and disappear.

Unsatisfied by other ones uncertain natures. She would ponder, listen to them, at times fearful of their force. One must tap into the growl, it was impossible for her to growl on her own – she would ponder the growl, sit with the bark in her mind – but it just would’nt come out.

She somehow had to let the bark go, in order to return. The cycle consists of past, present and future. Is that why she is number 12 – simplify it, she is 3.

Maybe the wrong one had to come and intervene to show her, survival of Love doesn’t always come treading carefully. Sometimes you tread carefully and lose your sanity trying to understand things beyond your control, and in this .. yes, you become a victim to your misconceptions of realism. We then invent our own paths which then stem away from a reality we all participate in, one we all must find ourselves in – What are we though lights or darkness? We then, attack ourselves in everyway possible and we dig and dig, and dig and dig… yes and dig .. digging endlessly to therefore be controlled, therefore be used, and therefore become a slave. A slave to our misery because of our lack of knowledge, of ourselves, our being, our nature and in this does Love remain or have we fallen for definate this time?

Her nature was known to her but in the part that was yet still to learn, this was where the burn would take place.

Why must she learn?

Her essence knows the reality of this already.

It must do it again.

A hidden secret carried only waiting to be empowered by something greater than herself.

How can she ever percieve Love if she doesn’t trip, then fall and then rise to see all but rest hidden.

O’ how she’d love to be loved, but maybe that so ..would never be enough – would it?

It’s a relived beginning, a complete movie of human affairs, illustrated by sick participants, in need of a cure. Fairytales with beautiful endings but still a wonderful view from afar. Up close it’s some-what convincing to an extent but even so – it must be misunderstood so one can fully understand.

So what must she do, give all of her, if she longs for what is far out of reach in this planet, she must give all of her.. ALL OF HER. Come on, we all know. This is not something new, but if we are to form realities unseen, this is a remarkble taste, she must obey.

She understands this.

She understands this very well.

She cannot rule, unless she gives all of her.

If she desires to not be controlled she must give all, she must obey to the head of the order, so he may allow her to drive the course of action by her focus and intuition. Yes, she ought to be protected, she ought to be looked out for, why?

Can someone with such poise and grace be left alone in this omniscient ladder?


Its not a mess at all, its a detailed eloquent act of GOD. . revealed in his timing. Can she Love?

She’s always loved. A love that is unexplainable, yet she tries to interpret it. Can it be interpreted?

*She laughs*

Can one see the Unseen God? Is her response.

*She laughs* again..

To be wrong means your right but to stay and play in the wrong means your already dead in the fight. To be right means you have plenty of chances to get it wrong but to stay consistent in knowing what is right means your able to govern the fight.

To be continued..

To be continued. . .

You Vs You

Will I ever fit in.

Will I ever look the part.

Am I good enough?

My kindness is my weakness, I’m a fool then.

They didn’t say Thankyou, they didn’t even say Please. No Well dones.

He’s playing mind games with me. Whys he doing this? Its probably me, I never listen.. preferring the high than to face him.

Shes tricking me, she’s cheating.. shes lying.. why is she forever using me for things she wants. She don’t love me, she never did.

It don’t matter anyway, atleast I’m alive.. who cares, I care.

I’m always trying to do the right thing but its not working for me.. What is right and wrong anyway.

Do I think too much.

They took from me, I’ll take from them. Heartless much.

Argh. I can’t do it, it’s pointless.. I won’t win, I have heart..chaotic yes but it burns for more. I’ll hurt me instead.

Can they hear my thoughts, they can hear my thoughts..

“Ohhh Nooo!!”

Why are they staring at me.

They make me feel weird.

Maybe its better being high, It blocks out the world.

Should I just act like them, maybe I won’t be an outcast.. “but then that means i’ll be going against me”

Why do I make myself feel this way.

Forever distancing myself from the world. I may be the problem, but aren’t we all the problem?

I’m a loner but I don’t feel alone – I just have no one to feel what I feel. Why do I feel so strongly. What is feelings.

I’m a weirdo. No your not. Yes I am. No your not. YES I AM.



These were the thoughts slipping in and out of my brain growing up, and now i’ve reached a part of myself where I can view me. . .properly. I would sit in silence listening to my mind, I would walk around viewing all around me but I learnt that being free paid a heavy price, and this turnt me against myself. I didn’t feel lovable much, I knew I was beautiful.. not the outside beauty but in my secret place.. I knew this without a doubt. I hid alot because I chose not too want to pass the pain, I understood passing it causes havoc but I saw resisting made it worse not for me, but for others who did want to get close. I locked myself In. As I grew I found my freedom again, but then I was attacked once again.. Why wasn’t I able to understand my mind? It seemed like people could tap in and out of me, as I thought. I was an open picture for all to see, unfinished but adding different colors as I went along and yet some took their brush and were purposely ruining my art.

Do we let others ruin us?

Do we ruin ourselves?

Why are we always allowing others to walk over us?

Why are people always comparing us to others?

Why are we forced to do things even when we are not ready?

Why can’t we just say no?

Why are we victims.

Why does heartache play on us.

Why do we overthink.

Even whilst choosing not to care, I never really understood why I let things pass and never dealt with them there and then. I was really good at acting like I didn’t care.

Blank faced it all.

As teens and young adults and some older adults too we have been caught up in our minds, our feelings.. some of us having no one to talk too but a paper and a pen or even so the open air. Some people call it our ego, I’ll call it the dark side. To all those dealing with issues such as: Depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, ptsd, adhd, bipolar, anorexia and many other mind altering dis-orders you are never alone. Many of us deal with this and force ourselves to face eachday refusing to let the outside world get to us, even though we know it plays it’s games, or maybe it’s us – who knows. I must admit I was embarrased having a mental breakdown to my manager at work due to the pressures of life but hey.. it happens.

To all suffering mentally I just want to tell you, you will always be worth it. Don’t let the mind control you. Its all conditioned, other conditioned minds have more power in the whole matrix that it affects you heavily. You are wonderfully and beautifully made. Greater is he in you than he who is in the world. Well done for understanding your issues, for knowing your struggles and choosing to see it.. well done for getting up everyday and choosing to look at yourself and make yourself better in character.. even though at times you can’t face the world you face yourself. Find one thing about you that you wouldn’t ever trade or change about yourself, ponder on it.. think about it and strive to enhance it.  Your a warrior, a hero, your someone that I needed.. maybe you never might of been able to help me but maybe we could of shared our feelings and in doing so push ourselves to be better.. or maybe it would of been toxic, who knows.

As a fellow sister who somehow was left behind in the matrix on my own the majority of the time, trying to figure life out I understand the feeling. I know the uneasiness. The sickness. The struggle. The emotional up and downs.

Please, don’t go through it alone. Talk to someone. Speak it out, some of us have healed ourselves but thats a hard road. We are all healers somehow, but Its important to talk to those who really care – who would really listen without judging you or making you feel like you are a problem.

We were born to help eachother, to better eachother, to build eachother and not tear each other down.

I’m proud of alot of people who have overcome, who are on the road to overcome, who are in the healing process now.

We’re all sick trying to get better.

I pray you make it through, with all my heart. I pray we all do. One way or another, we are all one. We all feel. We all see.

You got it. (I will never forget the person who told me this)

You really do. Let your heart open once again. Do not be afraid.. because your only fear is you versus you and no one else.

Be Love. We will make it through, we all will.



I’m not your enemy.

Sometimes we worry so much about how others see us. Closing ourselves from who we are for fear of the worlds perception of our souls.

Reality is something we all try our best not to face, we cover it behind a facade of masks, desires, hopes and false imaginations.

We cannot force a way of life upon ourselves without feeling the effect of it being weighed from within our being. Each of us has a responsibility to open their eyes to the understanding of Life within themselves.

The only enemy one fights is the enemy within themselves and then they can see the enemy that looks through the eyes of others. Take the speck out of your own eye before you take the speck out of your brothers eyes, Jesus said. The complete truth.

With so much concepts, worldwide issues/social issues..and social movements in this system its ovbous that the enemy is at work among men, although we can create a more free world where boxes are not formed for us, men desire to conform to society masks than their own.

Many humans have existed before us, maybe we have been all that have existed and repeated ourselves over and over.. who knows but God? World boxes have given men the ability to pick: politics, philosophy, religion, theology, finances, business, entertainment, education and some more… aswell as creating factions between us all. The poor and the rich, the gangsters and the nerds, the barbies and the plain janes, the badboys and the soft boys, our countries of origin and our place of settlement. I often time find these all difficult to understand, as a living soul I have always felt weird about societys influence on how we see ourselves.

An ongoing issue of social movements creating fools out of people, attention seeking individuals, new challenges for the socialites and the popular individuals carrying an influence in the world today for better or for worse. Fulfilling purpose and maximizing our potential is the working of the inner man, the power infused within us from the beginning that the Unseen God has given us.

I am not your enemy if I fail to project your fears or mirror your emotions. Sometimes we learn these things to fall back into the trap and relearn it again, but when will we ever understand the reality of this system? Its an ongoing cycle of fear and love, hatred and war.. hardships and struggles, hunger and plentiful. Are there solutions that better the lives of every soul? Are the solutions already picked and chosen for us?

I cannot conform, and refuse to stay in a box.. this had been the process since I left school and entered college. Somehow it seemed like an un-necessary blur to me.

I may seem like an outcast not able to conform to the worlds ways, breaking free from the history of the snake that has travelled worldwide to hunt down many souls and destroy their unique one minded consciousness.. but I am not for it.

This worldwide delusion has corrupted many, made them choose their box without truly creating their own. It forces individuals to participate in the underworld dungeons of lies and deciet to gain a profit from society, which the system itself does unto a man. The game is a dangerous forfeit of ones own soul, exchanging a real inner truth of values and respect, honesty, loyalty, faith, love and righteousness for lies, hatred, a false way of life, stealing, killing, division, pride, wars and control.

Every man was born free to form his own box, to allow the universe within him to manifest his own being to light without conforming to whatever the system offers them to become as.

Am I a rebel? Am I a trouble maker? Am I a problem to you?

How can I be if I desire to think for myself and desire others too think for themselves too without the concepts embedded in them that was given to them.

There is much more to break down, if only we all took the time to know beyond the surface of just beating the system by trying to outsmart it. If only we knew the ins and outs of its belief set up plans, its strategy thinking ways and its one key resource to make men enslaved too it.

We have the ability to each do the same.

In an honest, hardingworking way… done for yourself in the service of others.

This Kingdom is laid down and taken over by those who desire to live in order to die to worlds concepts to arise in life eternal prepared to form a free world in collaboration with the Unseen Supreme God.

Am I your enemy? Never, I’m a citizen in the spiritual dimensions in Christ and in this elevation I seek to better our world for future generations to have more ideas to think from as well as coming from them – inspired by inflences but mostly connected to the source.


I am not your enemy!

Sick With Love

Run away…

 sick with Love.

 Run away…

 sick with Love.

The lilies and the daffodills are waving

But there are only tears,

sick with Love.

As the sun, as the rain, and the wind.. sick with Love.

What is to be done?

A scream..

To hide?

Take the gun and suck this life.

Sick with Love.

A naked body is aching, heart is melting.. it is melting till its no more.

Smile is a Scarecrow once again.

Stare limitless crawling in with the atomsphere it has no end.

Why Love. Why torture. Why the pains. Just to hold and slip away, never truly slipping.. always here, always near.

Suffocating strength as weakness.

Wheres home, one belongeth where?

Why Love why do this.. bleeding tears.

Mad.. No.  A dam..neither.

An overflow, an ocean.. so why must one drown.

Why swim endlessly in One. . and yet drown.

Is there courage to save?

Desiring this madness, love.

To watch the madness. Its happened already, Its been done. What more do you want from one?

What more.

One like smoke in the air, one is but a mist.

What are you looking for love.

What do you ask of one.

You’ve taken over, made one a fool too many times. Yes, and one even walked away from you. . but you kept calling back, Love.

You resurrect one time and time again.

Forever keep travelling, keep reliving. . even when Life tries to dis-own one, one keep’s living. This cannot perish, one is held flying, wings floating in the sky.. eye on fire light in one’s world over-powering the darkness.


Sick with Love but standing un-moveable, un-shakeable and will not resist.

Sick with Love.




Escape the Mafia.

She was Love, misunderstood.

The Mafia some how found her,  laid eyes on her and knew she was not ordinary.

The GodFather himself, the greatest womanizer of town had studied this lass, he thought she wouldn’t notice but she did. The unseen in her, made it all quite simple for her to grasp.. Yes though she never met him, she knew of him.

He thought she would be oblivious too the serendipity moments orchestrated by Life and his intentions to master this mis-understood soul.

The mafia had plans, some how they would capture her in a moment, speak to her, she would become a great ally.. an asset to the team,  whomever could get to her first would therefore be the one to bring her in.

Bring her in too what exactly?

There brother-hood of course.

Though it seemed as if she was oblivious to the whole game, she was not. A mastermind in action around her, greater than herself knew this was all taking place.

There brotherhood was their god, but the Supreme divine spirit, in which lived in her – Christ – was her guide and protection, her only brotherhood was those who lived in the Messiah. Those who knew the way of the cross. Those who knew Love.

How that would be possible to get to her they did not know. She was hardly seen around, just every once in a while she would be out in the open and quickly hide her way indoors. The God-Father knew he would have to plan his move carefully. The other team members knew that The GodFather was very fond of her, and so there was an agreement every man in the mafia would not make any subtle moves as to make her naked heart fall for them.

One of them desired to feel her heart, and so took it upon himself to find her where-abouts and intentionally released his heart energy to her.

She in her own world walking on the sidewalk, felt his heart beat with her own from a distance.. looking up and wondering how it happened. O’ how she could not fathom this insiduous act. She pondered, she reminsced. . .how she had never felt another heart beat with her own. Was she to allow his heart to fool her ?

She couldn’t, her heart although eager to express the faculty pieces bestowed in her life’s journey was not able to be fooled. She was connected to someone she did not quite understand.. She didn’t truly know him. . he was somewhat a dream to her – a passing of the wind. Here and then gone.. he was her young hearts love. Yet how was this other brother’s heart able to beat with her own? How remarkable she thought. This too would effect her mysterious mind later on.

Days went on by and months, and the mafia somehow studied her behaviour from afar. She was silent, could be seen to know much more than she let off – she was also seemingly funny in character.. they could all tell. Her walk was cute, her frame and body well proportioned, though it changed throughout different stages.. Her last stage finally making her petite. Her facial features complemented eachother well, though she may not have been the most beautiful woman ever seen – she was the most enchanting they had come across.  The God-Father who was no where to be seen wasn’t someone who always came around. Who was he? She knew he existed, but she didn’t know who he was. Her own mysterious dream man – was somewhat a hidden love, a dream – but the God-Father ..did he know the hidden love, was he secretly the hidden love, or was the God-Father some-one who may seem more superior to her hidden Love?

How did the God-Father know of her in the first place?

Where exactly did he find out about her? She didn’t know who he was but she was aware of his existence in town, that is.

The other team members grew un-interested in the task not understanding why the method took so long, but the God-Father knew he had to continue watching her so he informed them of a secret – a secret he desired no one to know. He informed them that he was able to access her mind and control her emotions, feelings and reactions. They did not believe him, reason why one of the brothers was drawn too feel her heart. When her heart beated with his own, through one attempt of releasing his heart energy he was astonished – her mysterious mind later began to wonder.. never taking her eyes off of the hidden love, she strangly began to have images of one of the brothers appear in her mind, she was able to see through his eyes. He appeared every once in a while in her mind, and she watched as his expressions changed, there were no words just facial expressions.

Later on another brother tested this out.

He attracted her by color, the color red, he was able to look into her eyes, thinking she was merely in a trance in which she wasn’t. The God-Father made her seem to be in a daze, but her power over rode the daze that she noticed this brother, whom she had seen before. As he drove off in his little red car, she was some-what amazed.. The color white was also used to draw her attention. She contemplated ‘how is this possible that I’m somehow being watched and unwatched. That i’m watching and someone else far greater than I watching for me.’

Due to her hidden powers, and unique soul – presumably one that had been so warped in the divine that she barely recognized this, they were able to manipulate her mind.

They all begun to participate in the game, in which she would have to find out for herself – the reality of the brotherhood as a whole, and face the attack head on. Did she have heart? Would it change or still remain One. This psychologically begun to break her down and wear her out – but somehow she managed to keep going.

This game was getting out of hand, and the God-Father knew it. He was mis-using a power he had, and damaging the heart and mind of another who had already faced this test earlier on in life. They all had to reap what they sowed so the damage they had caused her some-how begun to fall on them, starting first with the God-Father. There own minds begun to be manipulated, their souls disturbed, unusual circumstances which should never had taken place created drama – therefore creating commotion for the brotherhood.

Did they not fear the divine within her?

Did they not know that it was not some fairytale story?

Could they not see that the essence of the heavens dwelt among men. So why play with it? Why misuse their own to damage anothers?

Were they satisfied with the aftermath of their own polluted minds. Not quite so. For they longed to return for yet another round. This time it was becoming clear who the God-Father might have been.

She disappeared, and was in hiding.

The Divine God within her moulding her back to herself. This whole drama playing out seemed some what unfair to her. Why was she a target to such an atrocious act?

Did they desire to test her love and loyalty? Did they desire to test the divine within her love? Did they see something in which they desired to take from her? All this was un-known.

All she could do was reside in the comfort of her home.

This young lady was not stupid by all means, she kept watch over times, and was able to understand the repetitive motion behind all that was taking place. She was also able to see beyond it to, that it had to be played out, for this was orchestrated by something far higher up that she knew of.

She was aware of God’s providence in her life and no man would ever take this divine essence from her, it was her greatest gift given unto her to show her who she really was and to whom her hearts allegiance was given over to. They had no idea.

This young lady participated in this challenge, unawares that it was planned by outside forces. Pre-destined before time by God.

She managed to escape from the Mafia, her hidden love dying away within the chambers of her heart and now she was prepared and destined to love anew.

Packing her bags and leaving for a new country. . .having learnt that Love was the supreme power to overcome all dark forces, and to reveal the hidden secrets of men and their delusional minds.

She managed to find Love, true love and he was the man she had always needed. Yes he was the part of her that she knew existed.

Love is far greater than we can imagine. It is supreme in all it’s ways. Never giving up, never stopping till it can gloat over it’s foes and manage to stay one in the fight for life.

Psalm 22:26 ‘May your heart live forever’

Psalm 89:2  For you have said: ‘Love is built to last forever’ you have fixed your constancy firm in the heavens.

Love is the greatest.


Life Talk’s

Life talks but do we listen.

I’d like to say I do but sometimes I’ve ignored the signs, not purposely. . .I just somehow thought let me just go on. A lover of life and beauty, all things splendid with joy as my handbag. The world we live in projects so much emotions on to others we somehow lose ourselves in others feelings, well I tended to. When I stepped off the wheel of suffering I became unpopular, I didn’t project to others in their games so I was attacked.. after a while the attack began to hurt deeply I let it build in me. . I let the pain of desiring to love others and receiving hatred or rudeness back hurt me and affect who I was. I entered a new awareness and enjoyed my happy moments but slowly the pain came back again.. No one is perfect but I tried to be there for others as much as I could.. but it wasn’t always reciprocated. I laughed, smiled but deep down I was my own suffering.. Rejoicing with others, complimenting others and listening to others whilst being broken within. I’d like to say that it was normal but it wasn’t.

When an awakened soul see’s past your facade within your eyes.. can you hide any longer? The mirror to see yourself and then to see the seperation of your own self and the torment of your own mind. An aware soul reveals your deception so you can deal with it and recognize the importance of facing YOU and not covering YOU. I somehow thought I could carry the pain and hurt and be okay, I thought It will always get better as long as I smile and show love . . . but it got worse. To run meant that I avoided myself, to surrender meant I would deal with myself no matter how long it took. This was so hard.. surrendering was painful!!! Then seeing your thoughts war at you head on, the madness of it all drove me to hospital earlier this year and there my ma sat by my bedside, took out her bible and read Psalm 27. I will never forget, she told me believe daughter believe you have power over your mind..You cannot keep letting the enemy hurt you, you have power.. do not let the devil win. Everything I had seen, all the voices I heard.. the voices telling me they would kill me, giving me a date I would die, telling me to go places.. the images projected to me and the thoughts put into my mind. . . I thought it was the end of me. I was standing, alive.. trying to love in the mist of it all ..praying asking Jesus to help me.. and yet all I remembered throughout the attacks was the eyes that saw my soul. I never forgot the eyes, and those eyes welcomed me like I welcomed others and for some reason God let me use it as a way to know.. I certainly can be seen. . I haven’t been forgotten, I ain’t just in the mist.. I ain’t a ghost. The smallest things mean alot to me, a smile.. a nod.. a wave.. a blink.. (haha took it too far by saying blink) but Life had always made me humbled itself because of how big it was. Yes we have made mistakes and we learn, we receive forgiveness and forgive ourselves.. but then can we forgive others and if we do can we forget? Have we forgiven ourselves for what we have intentionally or unintentionally done to others?

We learn everyday, sometimes we learn the same thing thinking we had already mastered it before. Love lifted me, and as I stand in me bit by bit.. strengthened deep down.. I hope and keep hoping. Faith is my best friend and Love is One. . My number 1.

Right now. . .

I’m swimming in an endless ocean … care to join?


There but not there

seen but unseen

present but disappearing. . .

It’s obvious you grasped the feel, the motion, the real. An experiment quite frankly gone wrong to some but relived for others.

I am incredibly grateful for the seasons of miricaulous signs and wonders of life and the changes it brings within its scenery. Never knew I would say this but HEY. . . this part of life is quite strange, they seem to know but yet they are afraid.. whereas before they had no idea and so played around with nothing to lose.

It’s been a high and a low, ascending..descending.. climbing and falling .. for many decades now.

To view the horizon was like to swim a whole ocean in the space of no time. I am nonetheless fortunate to be a part of something that overall is a telling of a story inscribed and lived through mankind. I am more pleased that mere men have sought to be heard of for not just there own selfish greed but for something more in life. Many come and gone. . . leaving but a trace of memory of the unknown knowing. It’s a greater gift for one who despises all a world could offer and seeks past every prescription that ‘word’ may say but stills itself within it, oh the power of one who patiently views the words and is it’s fullstop and comma, capital letter and spelling mistake. It’s adjective and it’s metaphor, it’s past ..present and future.. that person is what the what was, just what it was when the word had begun typing what it was typing just right now… and gladly enough you followed along. You may seem confused now.. but some day you will all look back and understand it was before You, it was above You, it was within you and it’s hiding was not obvious because it was too blatant. They can travel distance and time, space is limitless and energy? Energy is somewhat a source of significance it is strength. . Its meaning is Strength.

Well it was always spirit that fed it’s emotion within them – over and over again.

It looked deep into the core and inner their sacred parts that they somehow demolished.

Yes . . . yes. . . and yes.

The keys were given, and now the ones who gained back there space are unlimited in every form of creation that seems impossible to man. Yes. . . beyond distance.. beyond time.

It was already foretold.. it was already foretold, I was already foretold.

There but not there

seen but unseen

present but disappearing. . .


I Am in the I Am

An empty mind with thoughts that are

Echoed in the heart. A clear path and

The rejection of unwanted feelings that

others. .

May try to place on your freedom. . .

Toxic thoughts from burdened individuals..

Criticisim of others who never knew you.

Observing the outset of all things brings

Perspective to a reality that only can be

Created from within. Are you any better than

Another? Never but your realisation to

Your own consciousness explores places

That is yet left to be rejuvenated in the

Stagnant tears of the dead. .

The dead in you.

The resurrection. . Is evident now,

To the hidden dimensions of life, the power

Investing in accumalating this certainty to


The opening for others, if they desire

To see. . Is the opening to yourself.

You are thy sister/brothers keeper.

The mirror to their own surfaces, their own

Picture as they see. Do you see what they see?

Unless both eyes are awakened to see far

more vastly inwardly the battle remains in

Anothers own head or maybe yours?

Who knows. . .

As we enter in this wholesome, eternal and

Ever-growing power we become masters of

A reality formed and created by the Governor,

The Supreme the Unseen watcher and

Partaker of Life..

The Giver Of Destiny is revealing one’s

instruction to become the one, within

The I Am.



Inner thoughts

Reality is . .

Life isn’t a fairytale full of love and roses. . .

We are exposed to a world that caves us in from who we are.

Trapped in a continual cycle until one finds a way out.. finding your way out results in being praised by the system for being able to breakfree and create a name for yourself.. and from then on the world will always try its best to remember you and to consider you worthy of it’s benefits.

We all deserve to be honoured.

We all deserve to be appreciated.

We all deserve to be loved.