Countless – Amid?

Somehow we are ascending.

Somehow we are possessing more than silver and gold.

How some have eliminated the vision of true perception in the gratifiction of the lures and deception of humanity.

Loves lost? Of course not but it’s ever growing motion is some-what a distinct divergent, an alliance to intrinsic value – a virtue amiss to men but unto an accountable man it is his freedom. We are not in a cycle of systematic law, but a cycle of living truth.

Can you untie my shoe laces without hands, can you shave my hair with a comb. . .is it possible to instill power or isit merely residing in the dormant hands of fear waiting to be released? Do you understand the reality of all three – which is all possible, and truly a matter of ways in a way.

A standard you use for another is the standard used for you.

The unfairness projected is hidden and you hold the clues, amid the imaginations of men some delerious and others emancipated by glee – you are mono-tone to discover the clue which happens in the twirl of the mind, or possibly the heart – the floating of the soul – or maybe the stillness of Spirit..Twirl?

The 360 twirls delights in one’s discovery of resolution of the ultimate surface of reality and then digging into its literal deposits in the soul.

I delight in the proportionate chemistry that is shared between God (The Creator of the heavenly of heavenlies) – and  of his creation in the earthly mother of mankind and yet still the earthly mother is a child of the human race.

The lucid contrast of all and yet subtle simularity is a sweet and undeniable mystery and never-ending in fact.

Countless we are – amid the blur of a clear monumental existence.

Countless Amid – Counting forever – Surrounded by forever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Heart of a Man

We witness. We see ourselves and the world. The world either being in us or us in the world. Is it a strange fact that,

“The heart is decietful, above all things” Jeremiah 17:9

I wonder why we base alot of our life perceptions from this place, from this weary and tired rock where emotions pass through and the electricity of our minds dim the enlightenment of the heart. As humans we long for freedom, and freedom is what we have.. the cages we are in are the perception of the reality given to us but not the reality within reality – which truly goes un-noticed. The small things.

Can a man truly ascend past the limitations of his own wants, desires and fulfilments – can he give up everything he knows and has just to go on a quest for truth?

The hidden abilities of the potential of one’s own soul is a ultimatum – a destiny of his own pact with the greatest force of Life.

Didn’t John say “Greater is he that is in you than he who is in the world” 1 John 4:4

Have we not established that the very heart of a man is an abomination to the true abstract view of society and life?

“Do not judge and you will not be Judged, do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; forgive and you will be forgiven” Luke 6:37

Where can a man go to clear the hidden dirt of the heart, the trickery of its secrets. . .what would it profit him to gain the world and lose his soul at the price of the eyes of his heart being blind.

Are you the choice or is the choice you.

Are you the judge or are you already judged.

Can you truly see, or is your sight an instruction of systematic laws and common known behaviours of a rebel living a lawless life.

We are carved on the cross with Christ, being either one of the thieves on the right hand or left hand of Christ.

One although nearly dying professed his faith to desire more life.. he could see beyond pain, death and the limits of his own body, he saw himself and he saw his unworthiness and realized the power of life to empower him again. Therefore he asked Christ to remember him, and he was promised eternal life in paradise.

Yet the other drowned in his own loathsomeness of his actions, he condemned life and told its power within Christ to save itself. He did not percieve life and could not understand it, because of this his mockery of it showed he was already judged.

Which one are you?

 

As.. was, and still is we are all aware

She’s A Cedar-wood

She’s that cedar-wood that you will rarely find. . Oh spicey, icy..

Her eyes be so divine.

Chocolate skin beauty – all her leaves so nutrient and fruity…

Will you touch her tree. . .

it’s – a comfort breeze. . .

The mountains of Lebanon are shaded by her. . .her roots are

digging in the waters – tapping on to earth . . .protector

of lovers, eccentric undercover… A warrior inside of her – as she electrifies the universe.

She’s that Cedar-wood that you will rarely find..

Oh spicey, Icy.. her eyes be so divine..

Majesty is her presence..

Strength is her essence..

Firm.. is her knowing – they wanna copy her – Too bad –

She’s blurred.

They try and cut her down…

God called them all beserk.

They tried to burn her down, then nature heard – The Spirits of Light came and warred – Yes, they govern her core.

Cedars are the purifiers resistent to rot, their beings are the living fire… babies in their cot.

They are called to ignite – cleansing, healing, praying in providence..

The dreams and The visions are all her covenant.

        She’s that Cedarwood – that you will rarely find…

Oh Spicy, Icy – her eyes be so divine.

 

 

Not much left to say…

Its a message for us all. Life.

No matter what man has made of it, no matter what the enemy has tried to take from each and every human being thats ever lived.

So much of us, have words left unspoken.. words that no longer needs to be said. Potentially we are all hoping, for the best, to figure what the misson of Life is.

Patiently, waiting. Patiently, observing. Patiently, admiring.

A fleeting life, here today gone tomorrow. Nothing is ever promised but the gift of experiencing this existence again – in the way Life intended for us all definately is.

We are all in the image of the supreme God, each of us holding the sacred key within us, the connection to the light.

I often times’s asked God to take me out of this mess, tried to do the honours of taking myself out too, it never worked..

I wondered to myself so many times, what was the reasoning behind the blinking of my eyes. . .behind the quietness in the Spirit. We all have questions.

Some will be answered and others won’t be.

The sun, moon and stars cannot fathom the mysteries of their ownselves although they know the order they are to come forth – likewise however much I try to get deeper to this life, much is revealed but not fully exposed.  

I have to hold on to my God, my hope is to always be with the Holy Spirit, my best friend.

I miss God alot, although he is here and near. I seem to miss the world where we all were, the place where freedom existed – where we played like children, laughing and joking – running around in joy. I’ve seen glimpses, of this joy.

Two young beautiful angelic beings playing before my eyes.

I couldn’t touch them, they swiftly came into my presence laughing with complete joy, chasing eachother and disappearing into the air. . .

This world will never be enough, no matter how much you have or what little you possess. The overall presence of Life in this world is our greatest gift. . The presence of it’s Creator among us.

Some things I wish to say, somethings cannot be said. . overall there is nothing much left to say. . . nothing much left to say.

 

 

 

Over Again…

I should be truthful.

This place, this infinite movement of life – this existence in the spiritual essence of our natural beings is a blessing, a beauty far beyond rubies.

Somehow it’s like dancing in the air, gliding through the heavy petals of rain pounding on the sacred earth.

Somewhere in between this it hovers, it stares blamelessly – it laugh’s hysterically it talks to understand, to see you. . .it’s eyes wide open to SEE you. It’s embrace a different home than ever experienced, it’s hold a true comfort but a distant rememberance.

No’one would ever really satisfy this place, it’s hidden – a diamond in disguise, a rough but sharpened sword on the rock and gold refined in the fire.

Knowing this truth, shows me even the calms and pressures of Love is itself it’s own yearning for it’s own, own.

Yet so I wonder, only the presence and home of an ever-seeing and ever-present – eternal being-creator of all can really keep this secret place at an ease.

She ran because she knew it’s true power wasn’t of this world – she would hide and yet still fight. She then came out – and resulted to hiding once again.

All that came with the price of this . . .this precious gift that she shared within with God.. need she say anymore?

The gateways of a world that’s only destruction is to lie, steal, kill and destroy to pollute the beauty of the treasures created from inside.

I want to pull back, I want to avoid what some may not understand. I want to.. silently, with no words. I want to smile and then evaporate into the realities of light.

We all cried Love once.

We all thought somehow we would find it in another.

We all once, loved. . either in betrayal or in give or take.

I face it, another One.

I face it.

The sweat pouring from my head, the heat in my soul tickling my every part of my delicate body. Do you know this.. Spirit. I knew it, but it all came to hit me all again.

It came to show me all that I had to know. Too test all I were.

In a bubble of lies, a system of manipulation, a playground of hallucinations… yet I stare helplessly out the window…helplessly..

As Jesus soothes my strengthened heart – I ponder it all.

For all its worth, should he ever love me, should he even try,

could he ever really know.. would he ever really know.

For all its worth, they all came and saw scarecrows.

Yeah, look at me… go ahead, I know it’s your chance to see isn’t it.

The chance to see the InSane.

To watch it unfold before you

Over Again.

Continue reading “Over Again…”

The Pursuit of Love

You’ve seen a feather right?

The way it flows and has it’s own rhythm.

You’ve seen a singing bird haven’t you, sitting on the bark of a  sweet cocoa tree relaxing to it’s own melodies.

You have seen two lovers, hold on tight to eachother – that sweet surrender of a comfort gaze in eachother eyes. Do you know what it takes for us. . .they echoe to the world, for us to feel this way, be this way, give this way – to be empty and full of eachother – free and yet joint – one but yet individuals.

Vulnerability. Intention. Mastery.

These are elements of ourselves we use everyday, sometimes we hardly recognize it. I often time’s wonder why the revelation itself to this supreme essence of our beings is unexplainable, words try to tell the tale of an infant growing..learning and branching out.

Words are a fragment of this pursuit.

We linger behind them hoping they come out correct, that they are organized and not muddled. In an exhausting yawn I’d say they are never ending words.

Poetry, conversations, debates, arguements, letters, stories, songs, rap’s, sign language, speeches and any more beautiful ways that we use words to articulate our emotions and express feelings.

Each civilaztion must learn what the pursuit of love is, each generation must undergo the trials of intimate living – the trials of Spirits who long for deeper sense of Life.

A tree is beautifully perched on the soil, to and fro it’s branches and leaves wave to every living being. The waters beside it recieving it’s love as it intimately connects with the particles released in the air. . .this is the flow of their aliveness – their own friendship.

In sync.

You and I, I and You, Us both.

Imagine dissolving with the ocean.. becoming the water itself, to chase the wind as it beats against your wave. To hold the boat as it leans on you for strength, to wash his feet as he stares out at the far end of the sea, mesmerized by the soft touch of the ripples.

Its real right? Us.

We keep beginning and as people we never want to slip away, sometimes we do though. To not be weighed down by the unfortunate realities in the world but to honour the truth in the reality of it taking place.

Souls in a land burderned with unpleasent history.

It lurks in the forests, an ambush of rebels – a howl of an owl – informing all living creatures of an intruder, yes..

The earth cries blood of innocent men, the suffering of helpless women, screams of children playing, wails of a hungry baby.

The world.

It unexpectantly forces you to be silent, pulls you in and pushes you out.

Do we grow too quick.

Do we seek much.

Are we learners of a superior world out of this solar system – I’d answer that question as yes.

Its the forbidden fruit that led us to question all that we ever were, who in which we were to serve. It was the forbidden fruit that carved a deep longing inside us, to desire depth of a life questionable and unquestionable. It was with us, it was us, the longing was not longing, it was your side and mine.

Era’s of human philosophy transcending limits of the evolution of men yet circulating in the same bubble. We sought to be in touch, yet we are untouching the touch – the ever breathing emotion of what is.. not us but all.

No matter what goes on in life we solve not everything, for minds of men are occupied with the thoughts of the ‘morrow or how to provide for today.

Society has changed much.

Life has changed, and continues to do so. *smiles*

We must bear in mind, nothing is new under the sun.

We ought love in One.

It’s easier said then done isn’t it. Some of us hide away from such pollution, some of us seek to build better for our loved ones, some of us tired and exhausted of a system that has no nutrients, but is a disease to human nature.

Yours sincerely, we aspire to be words so dearly.. that smother you with home and glee.

Where is home, and what is our glee.

The heart has the knowledge of its own – and in that building it forms a home. The Spirit has a quietness to its being, within it lies a soft glee of essence transcending time and eternity.

Where there is nothing, nothing but the sweet merry feather floating in the air . . .

Right in the mist of that feather, flys a dove and behind the dove a sweet angel sings a song ‘My little sunshine’

The pursuit of love could none else be but the experiment of life’s whole existence, not me, not you, or we but the talking prescence alive between it all.

Observing as it was, as it is and now.

Let there be light, and yes.. it shone and formed all for all to see.

Silence.

 

 

The Second Coming, in the Floating room.

She sat there perplex, no thought running through her mind.

Peace. The sweet sound of the bird chirping whilst charging through the calming comfort of the wind. She sat astonished by the unexpected change in her atomspshere.

Though it may of seemed like it was all a dream, a seemingly confusing bubble she managed to portray a level of light-headedness through the war. Tears unstoppable, words rushing to and fro in the mind – visions of a world that she had not seen before.

She looked around at the white room, and smiled. . . her view was in the heavens and quite naturally she was soon to leave the room and enter into a new state. Before she had time to think in a sudden moment the ceiling opened up from above her and there entered the rain, water was pouring in the room. Raindrops of love, cleansing her.. she sat upright touching her wet face laughing – how remarkable – ‘rain in the ceiling’ she thought. Nothing was in the room apart from windows, a chair and herself, she was entering the omniscient narrator. Her room was floating in the heavens.

There was a knock on the door.

Tap. Tap.

She walked slowly to the door and opened it.

“Hi Ariella” said the voice.

Her face was with no expression but she allowed him to enter.

“Hello Cariel – what brings you here?” she muttered unapologetically.

“I was told to come and speak to you” he replied.

“For what, and who told you to come” she said, her head looking out the window.

“They were watching you, and my soul told me to come back” ..

“Who is they” she responded calmly.

“The fallen ones, they knew your allegiance from the beginning of time. Your marked as one of light”

“What was your role in this?”

His face, which she had decided not to allow to make her heart feel in any way. . she had already understood that the deception was among many, and had forced itself to take place within herself.. this war nearly took her life. Who then could she trust.

“I was a part of it all, I knew what was happening to me – I had decided to play into it Ariella. I made that choice. I was it, partially a lie, that I believed. I too was fallen, I fell.” His face looked down in disappointment.

“So why are you here, what is your reason to being here” she spoke delicately.

“You are” he responded.

They both looked out the window. Ariella’s lilac robe brushing the wet floor. She whispered under her breath and the room suddenly dried, the sunlight appeared from outside and there stood a calm between them. Where there should of been enemity she beckoned peace.

“I’m the reason, and for what cause – may I kindly ask”

“You discovered way before you was ever to know the war, how is it possible that this time you was oblivious to the obvious?” he questioned.

“It is the cause of Love, it is the mere hope that one’s heart may be as true as another. This makes one appear as a fool, but it is a longing of a playful child. Cariel, from afar I knew but yet still close I denied.. for this I felt the pain, the gruesome experience and the hurt that challenged my allegiance. . even so a gift from the heavens ushers a new millienmum for an individual and for those around them” she spoke softly looking up to the heavens. He was the least of her worries, the battle was already non-existent..meaning his power was no longer needed to show her anymore lies and neither the false world. She knew where she stood.

“Ariella, I remember the light but I fell far from it.. I longed for more and this is why I became the person I was. I was just like you but some-how it all turned to darkness”

She laughed, and turned to look in his eyes,

“Of course, you became the Prince of darkness himself, you appeared sweet and tender, kind and soft. Yet still this was a lie – if you can have it all you would, if you can control you would, you would do anything to get what you want and you did”

Cariels eyes were saddened by the affect he had on Ariella, he wondered why he had allowed the fallen ones to manipulate him, and yet still unknowingly or knowingly he was under their influence.

“What am I to say?” he asked

“What do you want to say, I have heard your association – what more do I need of you” she spoke dearly.

Cariel stood there, emotionless. He looked like he had much to say that he was not able to say. Ariella smiled, she already knew.. it was pointless.

“I know you Cariel, there’s no need to be here”

“If you knew me, you would know why i’m here” he stood firmly.

Ariella, circled him. He stood upright , wary of her.

She sniffed his air.. “I know you more than you think you know, but I won’t let in to it, because you probably are aware of what I know – seeing as you are the deception”

“The fallen ones are no longer with me” he smiled. “I want to make it right again”.

She circled him again.

This time he softened.

“I smell deceit”

“Whatever you smell is what you must be in yourself” he replied with no shame.

She snorted.

“Speaks the one who comes to me to confess that he was a lie” she deeply stared into his eyes. He turned his gaze quickly.

“And so I thought” she murmered.

He forced himself to look into her eyes, refusing to be shaken in himself. Heaven stood still.

“I know what your thinking” he said

“What am I thinking” she replied, suspisciously.

He tried to speak but quickly held himself back.

She smirked and instantly her eyes lit yellow, fiery flames beaming towards him, her whole aura had changed and a wall of light circulated her. Cariel, covered his face and watched as Ariella began to float in the air – she spoke with authority:

“Then from the jaws of dragon, beast and false prophet. I saw three foul spirits come; they looked like frogs and in fact were demon spirits, able to work miricles, going to all the kings of the world to call them together for the war of the Great day of God the Almighty. Look I shall come like a thief. Blessed is anyone who has kept watch, and has kept his clothes on, so that he does not go out naked and expose his shame”

(Revelation 16:13).

Suddenly Cariel opened his mouth wide and vomitted 3 large frogs. 3 Archangel’s appeared and chained the frogs and took them to thier prison.

Ariel came back down onto the ground as Cariel lay on the floor breathless, he looked up at her.

“You was the frog I was warring against, it was you – you entered me – without my consent. I was controlled by you Cariel as you was controlled by them. I’m pressing on now”

He dared not say a word, she had already made up her mind.

She stood up and walked towards the door. . .her hands on the knob, she stood facing the door with her head tilted towards her right shoulder,

“If there are anymore worlds to come that we ever may see eachother, pass on by. . . Don’t look, I won’t remember. It will be erased, all that has taken place. Cariel, be you and i’ll be me”

She opened the door and he stood with nothing left to give as he watched her jump and begin to fly in the clouds, 2 of her guardian angels came to meet her in the air.. once again. .

Ariella was gone with the wind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He/r Liberty – – ^

Confined?  No.

Free? Ones Spirit is with the wind, graciously.

Like the whispers of the air polluted with mixtures of gas, the oxygen and nitrogen particles swimming – I am a stranger.

A stranger yet so familiar in this place, a feather flies out the sky and dances with the rhthym of its own flow – as I seek to fly with the bird and build my nest.

To be by the barn stocking on the hay, singing songs of freedom, as my thoughts are in the bay joining forces with the sea, within the grand creation of the ocean.

A hidden Sumurai – the way of the warrior, a buried Diamond that has found it’s way out the soil – the scorching heat of the sun melting the grounds and revealing the glistened beauty, yes the solid creation of earth itself. A secret Anthropologist working for a society that is – present in the highest heavens – activated on planet earth.

Bewildered it may seem but comforting as the breeze.

There is silence.

There are words.

There is silence.

Should I be a superhero and unleash my electrical powers in my super saiyan nature, but who will catch me.

An Aloe, evergreen leaking out the echoes of vera.

Do I uphold this as power?

Is this a cause for revolutionaries?

All aboard captain! Ai Ai. . . The ship is on the move..

We won’t be using ships this time, will we.

A drum beat – sounds of the heart of the jungle, rhythmic

glide of the feet of a poised Gazelle. A group of Zebra’s huddled together – their stripes confusing the adversary – Do you recognize me as I you?

The beat is pounding on the sands of the desert, the life force gushing through.. belting as the heart of the melody releases ripples in the modern world.

Here it comes: The art of existence, the masks of color, the oak.. settled in a promise spoken to a Spirit swallowed by the Sea – yet One was saved for the promise to one day be seen.

Run! Run! Run!

We cannot look back, we have forged a commune –

We are well aware. . Now one beckons..

 

Liberty, Liberty, Liberty.

O’ Fellow – I bow at you. Marvel at your. . muscular endurance –  Structure of the earth, treasures within the rock, territory of Life – Ye.

Kingdoms Collide.

Oceans Rise.

Yet we Remain.

What must I do.

What must I say.

Are we not an Indigenous people?

 

 

The One (Part II)

Despite the longing for love, she can’t really fall for it can she?

She will show you she cares, only to hide away. She will show you who she is, only to escape.

She’s not really escaping is she.

She’s tried, but Love although free, has somehow..

restricted her. She wasn’t born to growl, neither to bark, or to roar without a valid reason.

The knowledge of love burned her soul, ripped her into pieces – year after year.. her young soul growing and questioning the evolution of this ecstatic dance.

The worst happened, she still danced. Lonliness and she still danced.. wars took place and she danced – Oh how Love appeared not to be fair. Why wasn’t she allowed to fall, she had to stand through it all, even as her own enemy. When it seemed like she fell it wasn’t a fall, it was a trip that she understood.

Trips leave bruises. She may have tried to cover them but in trying to cover them she found pleasure in feeling their pain. Dabbing at the wound, laughing at how it hurt. .She found it amusing, even after the tears. So was she mad, no matter how sweet she may have been – even when she lied to her ownself.

O’ Sweet one, where are you running to?

O’ Fiery light of the existing one’s where are you going?

It is here you found yourself to be, where else can you flee to?

She didn’t need to be good enough, although she questioned how good she was. How good could she be, trying to balance her scales. Can she blame it on being a Libra.. the old wives tale. Seeking to balance her whole being each cell begging to be liberated and challenged to reach its ultimate balance and calm. There were times she wanted to bark – times she wanted to growl – times alone when she would whimper and other times there were no noise but SILENCE.

Does Love really capture us or the moment?

Way past the horizon where soul meets soul..

Does love really reside between the between.

I guess its a reflection of Spirit.

She could be helpless in this source, completely light as a flower, or a vicious weapon, lethal and untamed on the leash devouring all in her way?

Would she ever understand this source in her.

Oh how I’d love to be loved” and so she imagines.

*laughs*

A courageous thought, that is. . . for to her it is not simple, her roar larger than herself. She is meant to love, to bow, to free her being and let loose all she is to whom? Maybe she just falls for the wrong one. The one who sees the weapon and manipulates it, is that what she deserves after all, didn’t she take the lead before he was supposed too. She is at fault, she deserves to be mad for love.. gagging desperately .. ferocious in the hallucinations – completely gone with the wind or maybe not quite so?

She’s built for silence, she’s built for simplicity. Shes built for smiles here and there. She rather hide her face than truly be seen, but if ever seen she must be gracious. She prefers the unseen though for in that world she see’s – Light that is, in that light darkness must be exposed.

The ladder of divine ascent.. she continues the mystery.

I guess the wrong one drives you mad, makes you see the insanity of their ownselves in you. . or you in them. We somehow want to figure it out, we all want to figure it out.. but she.. she.. believes its existence is somewhat a tool, a mere strategy, to glide in the omniscient existing source. . and yes she recognizes it can backfire onto her – This tool, this strategy we name Love can succumb her, to where ever her heart is set in that moment.

The heart is decietful above all things, yes – this she knows.

She has always been aware of it, but the heart has been too large to control, it somehow controlled her, until Spirit intervened yet still, the heart continued to overpower her soul – Oh how madness had to teach her, the game. . . the game she hated to play but stupidly found herself being cradled by it.

Never fully giving in but desiring to only walk away and disappear.

Unsatisfied by other ones uncertain natures. She would ponder, listen to them, at times fearful of their force. One must tap into the growl, it was impossible for her to growl on her own – she would ponder the growl, sit with the bark in her mind – but it just would’nt come out.

She somehow had to let the bark go, in order to return. The cycle consists of past, present and future. Is that why she is number 12 – simplify it, she is 3.

Maybe the wrong one had to come and intervene to show her, survival of Love doesn’t always come treading carefully. Sometimes you tread carefully and lose your sanity trying to understand things beyond your control, and in this .. yes, you become a victim to your misconceptions of realism. We then invent our own paths which then stem away from a reality we all participate in, one we all must find ourselves in – What are we though lights or darkness? We then, attack ourselves in everyway possible and we dig and dig, and dig and dig… yes and dig .. digging endlessly to therefore be controlled, therefore be used, and therefore become a slave. A slave to our misery because of our lack of knowledge, of ourselves, our being, our nature and in this does Love remain or have we fallen for definate this time?

Her nature was known to her but in the part that was yet still to learn, this was where the burn would take place.

Why must she learn?

Her essence knows the reality of this already.

It must do it again.

A hidden secret carried only waiting to be empowered by something greater than herself.

How can she ever percieve Love if she doesn’t trip, then fall and then rise to see all but rest hidden.

O’ how she’d love to be loved, but maybe that so ..would never be enough – would it?

It’s a relived beginning, a complete movie of human affairs, illustrated by sick participants, in need of a cure. Fairytales with beautiful endings but still a wonderful view from afar. Up close it’s some-what convincing to an extent but even so – it must be misunderstood so one can fully understand.

So what must she do, give all of her, if she longs for what is far out of reach in this planet, she must give all of her.. ALL OF HER. Come on, we all know. This is not something new, but if we are to form realities unseen, this is a remarkble taste, she must obey.

She understands this.

She understands this very well.

She cannot rule, unless she gives all of her.

If she desires to not be controlled she must give all, she must obey to the head of the order, so he may allow her to drive the course of action by her focus and intuition. Yes, she ought to be protected, she ought to be looked out for, why?

Can someone with such poise and grace be left alone in this omniscient ladder?

Never.

Its not a mess at all, its a detailed eloquent act of GOD. . revealed in his timing. Can she Love?

She’s always loved. A love that is unexplainable, yet she tries to interpret it. Can it be interpreted?

*She laughs*

Can one see the Unseen God? Is her response.

*She laughs* again..

To be wrong means your right but to stay and play in the wrong means your already dead in the fight. To be right means you have plenty of chances to get it wrong but to stay consistent in knowing what is right means your able to govern the fight.

To be continued..

To be continued. . .

You Vs You

Will I ever fit in.

Will I ever look the part.

Am I good enough?

My kindness is my weakness, I’m a fool then.

They didn’t say Thankyou, they didn’t even say Please. No Well dones.

He’s playing mind games with me. Whys he doing this? Its probably me, I never listen.. preferring the high than to face him.

Shes tricking me, she’s cheating.. shes lying.. why is she forever using me for things she wants. She don’t love me, she never did.

It don’t matter anyway, atleast I’m alive.. who cares, I care.

I’m always trying to do the right thing but its not working for me.. What is right and wrong anyway.

Do I think too much.

They took from me, I’ll take from them. Heartless much.

Argh. I can’t do it, it’s pointless.. I won’t win, I have heart..chaotic yes but it burns for more. I’ll hurt me instead.

Can they hear my thoughts, they can hear my thoughts..

“Ohhh Nooo!!”

Why are they staring at me.

They make me feel weird.

Maybe its better being high, It blocks out the world.

Should I just act like them, maybe I won’t be an outcast.. “but then that means i’ll be going against me”

Why do I make myself feel this way.

Forever distancing myself from the world. I may be the problem, but aren’t we all the problem?

I’m a loner but I don’t feel alone – I just have no one to feel what I feel. Why do I feel so strongly. What is feelings.

I’m a weirdo. No your not. Yes I am. No your not. YES I AM.

NO I’M NOT! I’M JUST ME – BEAUTIFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE.

Silence.

These were the thoughts slipping in and out of my brain growing up, and now i’ve reached a part of myself where I can view me. . .properly. I would sit in silence listening to my mind, I would walk around viewing all around me but I learnt that being free paid a heavy price, and this turnt me against myself. I didn’t feel lovable much, I knew I was beautiful.. not the outside beauty but in my secret place.. I knew this without a doubt. I hid alot because I chose not too want to pass the pain, I understood passing it causes havoc but I saw resisting made it worse not for me, but for others who did want to get close. I locked myself In. As I grew I found my freedom again, but then I was attacked once again.. Why wasn’t I able to understand my mind? It seemed like people could tap in and out of me, as I thought. I was an open picture for all to see, unfinished but adding different colors as I went along and yet some took their brush and were purposely ruining my art.

Do we let others ruin us?

Do we ruin ourselves?

Why are we always allowing others to walk over us?

Why are people always comparing us to others?

Why are we forced to do things even when we are not ready?

Why can’t we just say no?

Why are we victims.

Why does heartache play on us.

Why do we overthink.

Even whilst choosing not to care, I never really understood why I let things pass and never dealt with them there and then. I was really good at acting like I didn’t care.

Blank faced it all.

As teens and young adults and some older adults too we have been caught up in our minds, our feelings.. some of us having no one to talk too but a paper and a pen or even so the open air. Some people call it our ego, I’ll call it the dark side. To all those dealing with issues such as: Depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, ptsd, adhd, bipolar, anorexia and many other mind altering dis-orders you are never alone. Many of us deal with this and force ourselves to face eachday refusing to let the outside world get to us, even though we know it plays it’s games, or maybe it’s us – who knows. I must admit I was embarrased having a mental breakdown to my manager at work due to the pressures of life but hey.. it happens.

To all suffering mentally I just want to tell you, you will always be worth it. Don’t let the mind control you. Its all conditioned, other conditioned minds have more power in the whole matrix that it affects you heavily. You are wonderfully and beautifully made. Greater is he in you than he who is in the world. Well done for understanding your issues, for knowing your struggles and choosing to see it.. well done for getting up everyday and choosing to look at yourself and make yourself better in character.. even though at times you can’t face the world you face yourself. Find one thing about you that you wouldn’t ever trade or change about yourself, ponder on it.. think about it and strive to enhance it.  Your a warrior, a hero, your someone that I needed.. maybe you never might of been able to help me but maybe we could of shared our feelings and in doing so push ourselves to be better.. or maybe it would of been toxic, who knows.

As a fellow sister who somehow was left behind in the matrix on my own the majority of the time, trying to figure life out I understand the feeling. I know the uneasiness. The sickness. The struggle. The emotional up and downs.

Please, don’t go through it alone. Talk to someone. Speak it out, some of us have healed ourselves but thats a hard road. We are all healers somehow, but Its important to talk to those who really care – who would really listen without judging you or making you feel like you are a problem.

We were born to help eachother, to better eachother, to build eachother and not tear each other down.

I’m proud of alot of people who have overcome, who are on the road to overcome, who are in the healing process now.

We’re all sick trying to get better.

I pray you make it through, with all my heart. I pray we all do. One way or another, we are all one. We all feel. We all see.

You got it. (I will never forget the person who told me this)

You really do. Let your heart open once again. Do not be afraid.. because your only fear is you versus you and no one else.

Be Love. We will make it through, we all will.