Speak the truth from the heart huh..
It just seems strange, I can’t reverse time or the situations we find ourselves in. Should I wish too?
If we could understand the heart, I think it would mean we are beyond superhuman. The heart deals with alot of mixed signals, it is decietful above all things. What if your heart beats with another – is it decietful then..
I pondered it, for a long time.. I didn’t want to keep rehearsing it in my mind – but I felt the heart.
I’m not a sucker for love as I used to be, but i’ve appeared a fool for it – I am not ashamed of that, it happens. We get caught in the moment.
Sometimes things happen in our life to teach us lessons, I guess I had been in love with a past soul I met on my journey and never expressed this, that when I saw him again it drove me to my own madness. Despite the madness – I painfully allowed myself to go away from what I knew. . who I was. . to only try and fit his image, the image of the girls he would look at.
Why would he look at me?
Although I’m beautiful, the women of these days are preferred half naked than covered up. I’m pretty simple. A Mary Jane.
During my madness, I noticed another lover. . I felt him and I looked away as always. . I couldn’t let him see me or my eyes – it would make me more weakened for I was sucked by a past love who had no interest in me. I pondered that day though, there was something about him I recognized – I was forced to let it go. I continued on my life journey, battling my emotions, my own self, I couldn’t understand why I was stuck on the past soul love by its reminder to me.
I dreamt of the life changing situation to come, this madness. . .but this problem would wipe me clean of all my past, it would be used to empower me to grow. . I had already gone through much, but The Creator saw fit too bring this back to me, to see myself as I was before, as I was in the present and who I was becoming.
One random day, which I cannot forget . . the other lover I had seen from a distant who I turned my gaze from – appeared from around the corner, he probably thought I didn’t see him. I was aware that I had seen him before but it didn’t move me strongly, I just wondered how odd it was to have seen him on that day and how It was so random to see him again, on his own. I remember looking away, continuing on my walk with my neice and nephew – and then I felt a warmth pass through my heart it was so calm and passionate, I then felt my heart was in sync with another – I felt his heartbeat with mine. I looked up and I saw his head slightly turn but he continued walking. I never forgot it, because of this.. I sometimes saw his face appear in my soul eye. I’ve always wished to have my heart beat with another, I was left heart struck. Who knew it was possible to exist that hearts can beat as one.. was this my imagination? I just knew this was a secret passion I held inside.
I can’t explain how I feel, I treasure the heartbeat but I haven’t got the answers, neither can I find them for he disappeared that day. I kind of wish it didn’t happen, because the heart is the wellspring of life, to beat with my life is something I cannot push aside. . but I am forced too. Things happen though, maybe I’m just a fool for love and its power. . hence why I drove myself to my own madness through an eye connection which moved my soul. Its a strange world we live in. How we connect with others. I know deep down there’s pieces of me that is hard to understand – not dreamy but away with my own drums.. I’m kind of strange myself, and so I’ve been told but now it’s okay.. I accept it.
A soul love is deep an endless river but things aren’t always as it seems, though endless there are many routes rivers go down – many different riverfalls .. and so what you may think is a soul love, may turn out to be something different than you imagined, strange world. A heart connection is somewhat a strange one – to contemplate one’s life wanting to beat with your own. . .one who recognizes and doesn’t forget, who ponders and listens and observes – appearing unseen but only un-seens recognize un-seens – am I right or wrong? NEITHER.
You just know, the heart listens and the soul observes.. the spirit ponders.
somewhat a funny comedy huh.
So where am I …..
Only God knows.
Love huh. . . Oh Love and it’s mysteries.