It’s strange.

Speak the truth from the heart huh..

Interesting sentence.

It just seems strange, I can’t reverse time or the situations we find ourselves in. Should I wish too?

If we could understand the heart, I think it would mean we are beyond superhuman. The heart deals with alot of mixed signals, it is decietful above all things. What if your heart beats with another – is it decietful then..

I pondered it, for a long time.. I didn’t want to keep rehearsing it in my mind – but I felt the heart.

I’m not a sucker for love as I used to be, but i’ve appeared a fool for it – I am not ashamed of that, it happens. We get caught in the moment.

Sometimes things happen in our life to teach us lessons, I guess I had been in love with a past soul I met on my journey and never expressed this, that when I saw him again it drove me to my own madness. Despite the madness – I painfully allowed myself to go away from what I knew. . who I was. . to only try and fit his image, the image of the girls he would look at.

Why would he look at me?

Although I’m beautiful, the women of these days are preferred half naked than covered up. I’m pretty simple. A Mary Jane.

During my madness, I noticed another lover. . I felt him and I looked away as always. . I couldn’t let him see me or my eyes – it would make me more weakened for I was sucked by a past love who had no interest in me. I pondered that day though, there was something about him I recognized – I was forced to let it go. I continued on my life journey, battling my emotions, my own self, I couldn’t understand why I was stuck on the past soul love by its reminder to me.

I dreamt of the life changing situation to come, this madness. . .but this problem would wipe me clean of all my past, it would be used to empower me to grow. . I had already gone through much, but The Creator saw fit too bring this back to me, to see myself as I was before, as I was in the present and who I was becoming.

One random day, which I cannot forget . . the other lover I had seen from a distant who I turned my gaze from – appeared from around the corner, he probably thought I didn’t see him. I was aware that I had seen him before but it didn’t move me strongly, I just wondered how odd it was to have seen him on that day and how It was so random to see him again, on his own. I remember looking away, continuing on my walk with my neice and nephew – and then I felt a warmth pass through my heart it was so calm and passionate, I then felt my heart was in sync with another – I felt his heartbeat with mine. I looked up and I saw his head slightly turn but he continued walking.  I never forgot it, because of this.. I sometimes saw his face appear in my soul eye. I’ve always wished to have my heart beat with another, I was left heart struck. Who knew it was possible to exist that hearts can beat as one.. was this my imagination? I just knew this was a secret passion I held inside.

I can’t explain how I feel, I treasure the heartbeat but I haven’t got the answers, neither can I find them for he disappeared that day.  I kind of wish it didn’t happen, because the heart is the wellspring of life, to beat with my life is something I cannot push aside. . but I am forced too. Things happen though, maybe I’m just a fool for love and its power. . hence why I drove myself to my own madness through an eye connection which moved my soul. Its a strange world we live in. How we connect with others. I  know deep down there’s pieces of me that is hard to understand – not dreamy but away with my own drums.. I’m kind of strange myself, and so I’ve been told but now it’s okay.. I accept it.

A soul love is deep an endless river but things aren’t always as it seems, though endless there are many routes rivers go down – many different riverfalls .. and so what you may think is a soul love, may turn out to be something different than you imagined, strange world. A heart connection is somewhat a strange one – to contemplate one’s life wanting to beat with your own. . .one who recognizes and doesn’t forget, who ponders and listens and observes – appearing unseen but only un-seens recognize un-seens – am I right or wrong? NEITHER.

You just know, the heart listens and the soul observes.. the spirit ponders.

somewhat a funny comedy huh.

So where am I …..

Only God knows.

 

 

Love huh. . . Oh Love and it’s mysteries.

 

 

Who are you?

We are all naked.

We are all seen.

Who are you?

Why can I see you in me. . .

What was this, why are you blurred inbetween many. . .

Where are you really. Your dissolved – melted in – though I mourned for it to be removed.

Why can I see so much, I feel you – I feel them – I cannot deny what I see. . .

My heart, my soul, my drifting mind and my me.

Who are you?

Are you me?

Who are you?

Estranged…

His hands pulled her in close, and he muttered words sincere into her ears. His breath circulating down her neck, swimming into the pools of her spine, melting into the pores of her delicate skin.

His hands held her hand gently, knowing the touch of her love could destroy his sanctuary –  he couldn’t hold her any longer. . She was weakening his heart the more she blocked his arms from touching her, the more she looked away the weaker he became. She showed no affection towards him, her eyes blankly looked into his, as his own spoke words that he did not understand. She tried to pull away from his gripped hands, but he wouldn’t let go.

He wrapped his arms around her, but her body was lifeless in his.. he kissed her neck and his own heart beated, but he never felt hers. . he always felt hers but why didn’t it no longer beat for him?

He looked at her, “Baby” he said ..

She looked away. He kissed her lips, and how sweet they felt, her small heart shaped lips hugged his but without hope. . they stood perplex in between his own. His soul vibrated strongly in his body, his heart realizing this was ending.. she was letting go, she was killing their connection. . she was destroying what she had come to know in the expense of her own freedom. ‘Did she love me this much, to grow this cold’ he wondered.

Deep down she wanted one last hold, one last warmth of his tender touch, his smile on her cheeks and his hands tickling her neck – her arms wrapped around his tummy. She wanted to jump at him and for him to catch her, to lay with her and stare into space. To laugh the whole night and share a sweet kiss. To share a dance in the living room, to ponder into eachother eyes and grin. To be silent with no words and listen to the atomsphere. She didn’t want anything fancy. . all she ever wanted was just him. . . his naked soul. That was too much to ask for because it wasn’t the simple story she expected. She was always scared, and so was he.

This feeling of fighting for something she never understood pushed her away from his hold even though it was the last thing she desired before walking away.

He knew.

He knew and felt it slip away.

He knew it would someday just disappear, it was too good to be true, it was just too good to be true.

He played with her fingers and walked more closely into her, until there faces were touching, he twirled her around – sat down on the sofa and pulled her onto his lap. She tried to budge, but he held her little waist.

“I know you love me, I know you love me” he whispered.

She continued on the urge to push away but he touched her tummy and she stopped budging. He closed his eyes and held her tummy, her heart began to beat with his but she quickly stood and ran towards the living room door. He managed to get to the door before her, and stood there staring into her. . He was softened by their wars of love that he had to keeping fighting.

She forced her way to the door handle, but he put his hands on the door. Tears rolling down her eyes, she said nothing.

His heart couldn’t bear to see her cry, but he had too.

His soul yearned to hold her, to cradle her and give her every part of his but she wouldn’t let him. She was pulling away. She was creating an empty space between them and he understood this was it – it was coming to an end. She was estranged. She was running away for good, and she was never going to come back again.

He didn’t want to let her go, he knew it would only destroy the part he had left to give. He needed to give it, but it felt too late.

“I love you” he said, “I love you more than words, and I don’t want to say this, but I have too.. your always in my heart and always on my mind. I may have done things to hurt you but I’ve done my best to make things right in me. I know you enough to know you love me beyond words too”. He looked down. She knew this was true.

“I love you enough, but enough has an end”

He stood there saddened, he didn’t want to plead and look like a fool, he had to just show her that she loved him.. he had to make her understand how much she really did care. His eyes were bloodshot and he shouted, he shouted aloud and ran towards the sitting room. He took the vase and smashed it, he begun to rip the curtains tearing them completely. He walked into the kitchen and took the neatly placed plates and smashed them one by one. She ran by the kitchen door and watched him yelling, fury in his face, trickles of tears ran down her eyes, she began to gasp – taking deep breaths. Her heart tugged her to walk towards him and her mind told her run, leave him. She listened to her heart and she ran towards him.

“Stop, pleaseeee…stop” Her eyes met his and her hands touched the next plate he was soon to smash. He looked back at her his fury beginning to calm down – she took the plate from his hands and they both sat down on the kitchen floor and she hugged him. They both cried, their spirits merging.. he held her so tightly, he kissed her cheeks.. he pulled her face to him and they intimately gazed into eachother, the atomsphere in their breath alone. He couldn’t breath, she was lost for air, he closed his eyes and pulled in close to kiss and in that moment..

 

 

She disappeared. She was gone. He opened his eyes feeling an emptiness come over him. He looked around.

“Babyyyyy” he shouted, he stood up the kitchen wasn’t a mess the plates were neatly stacked onto shelves, he went into the living room – the curtains were perfectly hanging loose – the vase was on the pure white marble table.

He held his head. Her spirit was estranged. She was gone – and there was no coming back. In whatever way he called, he knew she had moved on, she was just his imagination.. an old love lost.

She walked away, and left him with the memory of her Spirit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Young Lovers.

It’s gotten old now.

The curtains are purple and the rips cruise on the outlines of the material, expensive silk,

drifting through the home, the rust of the atomsphere sings in the air.

The old wooden tables pushed back against the windows

O’ they look rather lonely, the chairs crying to be seated on.

Where’s the owners?

They’ve deserted the house they built.

Young lovers who at first were attracted to the dance of their quiet souls.

Young lovers’ who were calling eachother from afar, O’ why leave a home a deserted place like so?

Where are you young lovers?

The garden is calling for your sweet flowers to blossom, and the smiles of sweet babies to roll along in the beautiful nature.

Young lovers, why are you hiding?

Its not rotting just yet but if you desert it for much longer will not the bricks become tired and fall in?

Will not the stairs creak and scatter step by step?

How about the taps, will the pipes not burst and no water will be left running through?

Young lovers come back.

The House is calling you, it needs you.

Young lovers come back, you need you.

Young lovers enter into your home.

Young lovers don’t leave the home, alone.

 

 

 

Note-worthy

What does it mean?

Seemingly being all that you were and are already.

Distinction of the finest efforts applyed by domestic care, you are the outcome.

Sobriety in a dis-illusioned setting, mystic at it’s core but the enemy somehow lurks to falsify the effect. A saviour much, as so it may appear to be, don’t be fooled. Sinners we are, turnt to heros in the darkest hours.

An answer for much, a sight of some.. a word spoken an explanation heard, ways to help… words of hope, cry on me. The time to solve an issue beyond you. Tired, but continually resulting to one.

Who can you run too, in order to understand – I guess we face our trials in the mist of others and yes – this is healing as well as putting our part in the past. Shimmering away to the comfort of our being. I saw me in them. I saw me in them, it somehow was a play, one I understood – one I saw beckoning in the mist of us. The heart understood, would it come back?

    It did, slowly.. the gesture was always the niceness.. the mother correcting and encouraging. Problems anyone?

Run to her. No problems well, she is no longer remembered.

It is a cycle, viewed as understanding to oneself and offering to life and it’s form. Learn to live through it all, leave behind the things that replay. I see you, you see me. Full stop.

 I’m cosy here, away – mesmerised by the planets decay and yet by it’s cure in the womb. Why fathom that which shall not be understood but continually is within a cycle.

Mono-tone, with a smile of acceptance.

There is no pity is there? A raised eyebrow maybe…

Quite frankly a dismissal of a stare. Look away.

This is no beating heart, or drooling love, or the poise of residing in a make believe society.

Common words are told: Solitude invites many, but you drive them away by one’s own fortitude.

This is noteworthy:

Establish an inner arc preserved for the witness, melancholy may try to war the arc – harshness – the battles of the sinful nudes of the calamity of the world – but the arc is a solid construction. . built not by solid hands but by the Divine melody of life.

 Swiftly riding on… quietly… in the song.

 

 

The One III

It was meant to be continued..

perspective is everything.

You have to die to live. Grace is given for this, is it not.

This divine nature, this spiritual power this gift is the design in which we become one, in ourselves and with eachother.

Should I make it romantic, should cupid come out and point it’s arrow at me?

Should I catch butterflys, and then chase you around. . .or maybe, be hypnotized by you and lose my sanity?

We have choices, there is a will and there is a way.

I guess emotions somehow play a role in this discovery but they have no say on the outcome. The deepest self, the spirit is a lamp to God, searching through the inmost self and yes this part of our connection to the Supreme determines our outlook and our perception on the mysteries we find in the essence and presence of divine love.

A young woman as myself, in search of nothing but life and it’s fulfilling gifts, it’s treasures in Spirit in the mist of distractions and false concepts..

To tell the truth I once fell in the trap to the seed that was meant to destroy men. Yes, the good and evil – the serpent seed somehow tried to destroy my knowledge on Love – but it could not take away the God in me, the Christ in me.

The serpent was cursed, she was cursed and he was cursed, this whole order was corruption.

I was born on solid rock and found my way through life with the solid rock by my side. The whispers of the lies, that the serpent tried to feed me so it can take my seed and hallucinate me as one day I breed new borns in this world with no Godly character, instruction, foundation, education, and spiritual awareness of all in all – connected in One-ness of life..to have dominion in what God has given them. The lies wanted me to fall a victim to it, to become it. To run wild in romance, as I pondered on the special one, the one to sweep me away and even so to control how it would happen, to lead it to happen, to gain as much information to bring him to me. . .to think I could possibly be in the same lane as God is destruction. Oh how knowledge is deceptive.. to come out of your knowing-free and true in you-to be whipped by the illusions of love-the whisper of a lie, to turn the order into a mess.

She was decieved.

She needed to understand it was not her call to make decisions abruptly, for her own hidden agenda, she needed to have consent. With who?

The God who lives in her, and her submission is to God before any man but the gift of Men is the gift of seeing God alive in him, a head, a decision maker and one who brings his one and only in equal union with him.

She is subject to him and must pass everything to him to make an equal decision. I can’t know everything and I am not designed to lead in anyway that means calling the shots above a man, who do I think I am. Do I live ordained by man or by God. Divine love is the The Father, The Son & Holy Spirit alive and at work within him and me, our family and the home in which we choose to build.

To desire to know more than what has been allotted me will lead me in the hands of a lie, to stay one in the truth I already have within me and blossom with it inside my soul – surely will lead me to the all knowing prosperity from the Tree of Life. The Holy Spirit always spoke to me and showed me what I had to understand even when it hurt, we always keep learning and growing and I learnt when we are eager to love and to share ourself without truly knowing the full extent of Love in us, ascending through us and its true origin beyond us with all and in all – out of the universe – unmeasured – omni through what we cannot even begin to imagine, you will break down.. you won’t be strong because mens knowledge of Love is a deception, that will kill you. . only a man who holds that true love can die to live again.

True Love is found on the cross, implemented on one’s own relationship with the grace of God within their Spirit creating in them a better character, a new man, willing to walk in the full image of Love and share that relationship with someone else and the whole world.

The 2 become 1 is an act of sanctification, a will of a supreme power at work between a spiritual being and their creator.. the tree of good and evil to the tree of life, making love through the pain.. the pain we all choose because we live blind to the truth.. even so this same act of sanctification as shown between 2 individuals who have seen the mercy, forgiveness and love from their creator must show it towards one another – the sacred out of this world love but enters in us because it’s imprint is still with us, by us, guiding us.

God is Our Sacred source – He is the head – She is his side.

Now the origin of the truth can manifest and their home be blessed.

She must lean on God, for God is her sword, her meekness, her submission, her authority, her strength – making her an equal heir to this gift of life, alongside the precious man in whom pursues her.

Her Love is an anchorite.. the man whose Spirit has returned to it’s true knowledge of its fruitfulness and his leadership, and his essence empowered by the Love from the heavens can only capture her.

The One is in all who have found the true One within them.

The Tree Of Life.

CHRIST.

LOVE ETERNAL, LOVE FOR LIFE, A LOVE SUPREME IT ALWAYS LIVES ON.

We knock on it’s door everyday and it awaits our call.

One.

The Pursuit of Love

You’ve seen a feather right?

The way it flows and has it’s own rhythm.

You’ve seen a singing bird haven’t you, sitting on the bark of a  sweet cocoa tree relaxing to it’s own melodies.

You have seen two lovers, hold on tight to eachother – that sweet surrender of a comfort gaze in eachother eyes. Do you know what it takes for us. . .they echoe to the world, for us to feel this way, be this way, give this way – to be empty and full of eachother – free and yet joint – one but yet individuals.

Vulnerability. Intention. Mastery.

These are elements of ourselves we use everyday, sometimes we hardly recognize it. I often time’s wonder why the revelation itself to this supreme essence of our beings is unexplainable, words try to tell the tale of an infant growing..learning and branching out.

Words are a fragment of this pursuit.

We linger behind them hoping they come out correct, that they are organized and not muddled. In an exhausting yawn I’d say they are never ending words.

Poetry, conversations, debates, arguements, letters, stories, songs, rap’s, sign language, speeches and any more beautiful ways that we use words to articulate our emotions and express feelings.

Each civilaztion must learn what the pursuit of love is, each generation must undergo the trials of intimate living – the trials of Spirits who long for deeper sense of Life.

A tree is beautifully perched on the soil, to and fro it’s branches and leaves wave to every living being. The waters beside it recieving it’s love as it intimately connects with the particles released in the air. . .this is the flow of their aliveness – their own friendship.

In sync.

You and I, I and You, Us both.

Imagine dissolving with the ocean.. becoming the water itself, to chase the wind as it beats against your wave. To hold the boat as it leans on you for strength, to wash his feet as he stares out at the far end of the sea, mesmerized by the soft touch of the ripples.

Its real right? Us.

We keep beginning and as people we never want to slip away, sometimes we do though. To not be weighed down by the unfortunate realities in the world but to honour the truth in the reality of it taking place.

Souls in a land burderned with unpleasent history.

It lurks in the forests, an ambush of rebels – a howl of an owl – informing all living creatures of an intruder, yes..

The earth cries blood of innocent men, the suffering of helpless women, screams of children playing, wails of a hungry baby.

The world.

It unexpectantly forces you to be silent, pulls you in and pushes you out.

Do we grow too quick.

Do we seek much.

Are we learners of a superior world out of this solar system – I’d answer that question as yes.

Its the forbidden fruit that led us to question all that we ever were, who in which we were to serve. It was the forbidden fruit that carved a deep longing inside us, to desire depth of a life questionable and unquestionable. It was with us, it was us, the longing was not longing, it was your side and mine.

Era’s of human philosophy transcending limits of the evolution of men yet circulating in the same bubble. We sought to be in touch, yet we are untouching the touch – the ever breathing emotion of what is.. not us but all.

No matter what goes on in life we solve not everything, for minds of men are occupied with the thoughts of the ‘morrow or how to provide for today.

Society has changed much.

Life has changed, and continues to do so. *smiles*

We must bear in mind, nothing is new under the sun.

We ought love in One.

It’s easier said then done isn’t it. Some of us hide away from such pollution, some of us seek to build better for our loved ones, some of us tired and exhausted of a system that has no nutrients, but is a disease to human nature.

Yours sincerely, we aspire to be words so dearly.. that smother you with home and glee.

Where is home, and what is our glee.

The heart has the knowledge of its own – and in that building it forms a home. The Spirit has a quietness to its being, within it lies a soft glee of essence transcending time and eternity.

Where there is nothing, nothing but the sweet merry feather floating in the air . . .

Right in the mist of that feather, flys a dove and behind the dove a sweet angel sings a song ‘My little sunshine’

The pursuit of love could none else be but the experiment of life’s whole existence, not me, not you, or we but the talking prescence alive between it all.

Observing as it was, as it is and now.

Let there be light, and yes.. it shone and formed all for all to see.

Silence.

 

 

The One (Part II)

Despite the longing for love, she can’t really fall for it can she?

She will show you she cares, only to hide away. She will show you who she is, only to escape.

She’s not really escaping is she.

She’s tried, but Love although free, has somehow..

restricted her. She wasn’t born to growl, neither to bark, or to roar without a valid reason.

The knowledge of love burned her soul, ripped her into pieces – year after year.. her young soul growing and questioning the evolution of this ecstatic dance.

The worst happened, she still danced. Lonliness and she still danced.. wars took place and she danced – Oh how Love appeared not to be fair. Why wasn’t she allowed to fall, she had to stand through it all, even as her own enemy. When it seemed like she fell it wasn’t a fall, it was a trip that she understood.

Trips leave bruises. She may have tried to cover them but in trying to cover them she found pleasure in feeling their pain. Dabbing at the wound, laughing at how it hurt. .She found it amusing, even after the tears. So was she mad, no matter how sweet she may have been – even when she lied to her ownself.

O’ Sweet one, where are you running to?

O’ Fiery light of the existing one’s where are you going?

It is here you found yourself to be, where else can you flee to?

She didn’t need to be good enough, although she questioned how good she was. How good could she be, trying to balance her scales. Can she blame it on being a Libra.. the old wives tale. Seeking to balance her whole being each cell begging to be liberated and challenged to reach its ultimate balance and calm. There were times she wanted to bark – times she wanted to growl – times alone when she would whimper and other times there were no noise but SILENCE.

Does Love really capture us or the moment?

Way past the horizon where soul meets soul..

Does love really reside between the between.

I guess its a reflection of Spirit.

She could be helpless in this source, completely light as a flower, or a vicious weapon, lethal and untamed on the leash devouring all in her way?

Would she ever understand this source in her.

Oh how I’d love to be loved” and so she imagines.

*laughs*

A courageous thought, that is. . . for to her it is not simple, her roar larger than herself. She is meant to love, to bow, to free her being and let loose all she is to whom? Maybe she just falls for the wrong one. The one who sees the weapon and manipulates it, is that what she deserves after all, didn’t she take the lead before he was supposed too. She is at fault, she deserves to be mad for love.. gagging desperately .. ferocious in the hallucinations – completely gone with the wind or maybe not quite so?

She’s built for silence, she’s built for simplicity. Shes built for smiles here and there. She rather hide her face than truly be seen, but if ever seen she must be gracious. She prefers the unseen though for in that world she see’s – Light that is, in that light darkness must be exposed.

The ladder of divine ascent.. she continues the mystery.

I guess the wrong one drives you mad, makes you see the insanity of their ownselves in you. . or you in them. We somehow want to figure it out, we all want to figure it out.. but she.. she.. believes its existence is somewhat a tool, a mere strategy, to glide in the omniscient existing source. . and yes she recognizes it can backfire onto her – This tool, this strategy we name Love can succumb her, to where ever her heart is set in that moment.

The heart is decietful above all things, yes – this she knows.

She has always been aware of it, but the heart has been too large to control, it somehow controlled her, until Spirit intervened yet still, the heart continued to overpower her soul – Oh how madness had to teach her, the game. . . the game she hated to play but stupidly found herself being cradled by it.

Never fully giving in but desiring to only walk away and disappear.

Unsatisfied by other ones uncertain natures. She would ponder, listen to them, at times fearful of their force. One must tap into the growl, it was impossible for her to growl on her own – she would ponder the growl, sit with the bark in her mind – but it just would’nt come out.

She somehow had to let the bark go, in order to return. The cycle consists of past, present and future. Is that why she is number 12 – simplify it, she is 3.

Maybe the wrong one had to come and intervene to show her, survival of Love doesn’t always come treading carefully. Sometimes you tread carefully and lose your sanity trying to understand things beyond your control, and in this .. yes, you become a victim to your misconceptions of realism. We then invent our own paths which then stem away from a reality we all participate in, one we all must find ourselves in – What are we though lights or darkness? We then, attack ourselves in everyway possible and we dig and dig, and dig and dig… yes and dig .. digging endlessly to therefore be controlled, therefore be used, and therefore become a slave. A slave to our misery because of our lack of knowledge, of ourselves, our being, our nature and in this does Love remain or have we fallen for definate this time?

Her nature was known to her but in the part that was yet still to learn, this was where the burn would take place.

Why must she learn?

Her essence knows the reality of this already.

It must do it again.

A hidden secret carried only waiting to be empowered by something greater than herself.

How can she ever percieve Love if she doesn’t trip, then fall and then rise to see all but rest hidden.

O’ how she’d love to be loved, but maybe that so ..would never be enough – would it?

It’s a relived beginning, a complete movie of human affairs, illustrated by sick participants, in need of a cure. Fairytales with beautiful endings but still a wonderful view from afar. Up close it’s some-what convincing to an extent but even so – it must be misunderstood so one can fully understand.

So what must she do, give all of her, if she longs for what is far out of reach in this planet, she must give all of her.. ALL OF HER. Come on, we all know. This is not something new, but if we are to form realities unseen, this is a remarkble taste, she must obey.

She understands this.

She understands this very well.

She cannot rule, unless she gives all of her.

If she desires to not be controlled she must give all, she must obey to the head of the order, so he may allow her to drive the course of action by her focus and intuition. Yes, she ought to be protected, she ought to be looked out for, why?

Can someone with such poise and grace be left alone in this omniscient ladder?

Never.

Its not a mess at all, its a detailed eloquent act of GOD. . revealed in his timing. Can she Love?

She’s always loved. A love that is unexplainable, yet she tries to interpret it. Can it be interpreted?

*She laughs*

Can one see the Unseen God? Is her response.

*She laughs* again..

To be wrong means your right but to stay and play in the wrong means your already dead in the fight. To be right means you have plenty of chances to get it wrong but to stay consistent in knowing what is right means your able to govern the fight.

To be continued..

To be continued. . .

Two Become One.

I’m going to make a cappucino, would you like one too?

What is done for me is done for you..

What is this whole two become one life?

We are sepearte identites but One in Spirit, mind, heart, and

I guess our souls intertwine too right. . .For better and for worse.

Selfishness is just not what works with us.

Honesty is everything, Loyalty well thats the package with Love isn’t it. . . should you even have to question my loyalty?

Trust – that can get broken but with forgiveness there are steps that can be implemented so we can regain that back in eachother. . it may not be easy but it can be done.

Patience – without the ability to wait through lifes difficult moments together in hope and faith.. how can we ever know the quality of our hearts as one?

Joy – we share the joys of life, the smiles, jokes, and the deep knowing that I am yours and you are mine. Our Joy that God is our foundation in all and through all – he is our truth and there ain’t nothing but his unconditional-infinite love within us.

We ought to be fair with one another, and to endure the storms, rains and winds of life together, no matter the cost.. The gift in grace.

Envy can’t be a part of our home.

Jealousy will only destroy what we build.

We ought to respect eachother, never disregarding eachother as non-worthy of having any input in decision making or any relevance to eachothers lives in any way.

We don’t have to boast, humility is our clothes – if you want to joke with me then i’m willing to listen to your boastful comments – I’m more than ready to tickle you.

Its not about me

Its not about you

Its about We.

I must do unto you as I’d like done unto me.

I must take care of you as I would take care of me.

I must not think of me but I must think for us as one.

Are you not free?

Are you not able to live your life.

Yes, you may. Though I’d like you to be with me all the time –

I understand that sometimes you would want to hang out with your buddies. Can you tell me the truth of where you are in fact?

Can you be 100% naked?

Even if it was the worst situation could you

trust me enough to tell me everything.

Do I not support you and you me.

We must admit to our faults and failures yes, but can we not build eachother to stand back up again even when we fall.

Speaking life, living a humble and meek life.

We are eachothers peace.

I am for you.

Are you for me?

I am for us.

Are you for us?

Lets put it on the table, lets work this out,

I have mercy on you and you me.

Let me not run from our issues, why discuss it with others – can we not solve it together?

Are you not my lover, my comrade for life, my teacher too.

I may be a little nonchalant in certain ways but i’ll always be willing to listen to you.. I am you and you me.. we are one.. I can’t ignore your part of me. It will only hurt us.

Can we pray about situations?

Even read the word together?

Can we sit down in silence together .. not saying anything without you feeling distant.

Can you hold me sometimes and just stroke me, no words..

Just show me your affection. . .Let me know you want me as I want you.

Be with me, ride with me, don’t be scared.. We ain’t perfect but we will get there.

I want to hold you in ways you have never known – to let you know I’m you.. I want me to know this.

Can you really take us. You know us. Don’t run from us.

Melt in it with me and I melt with you.

So what if they mis-understand us.

We understand us. Inside.

That’s all that matters.

You’ll carry my babies, I’ll feed with the bottle when your asleep sometimes.

I want to create with you.

You want to create with me.

ONE.

A Love which is more than a fantasy – it is Alchemy.

Mentally.

Physically.

Spiritually.

Emotionally.

Our divine sacred marriage of our beings before the Unseen Creator of Life, The Eternal One.

We become One Body, One Mind, One Soul, One Existence.

The Univeral flow from the Divine one being unlocked between us both – Our DNA being made anew through this

COSMIC LOVE.

ME.

YOU.

WE.

The Two become..

ONE.

Neither One of Us.

I’m not ashamed to say I’m insane in Love. I can’t be that crazy, because I’m in my sanity but at times i’m blurred from my own reality.

I’m not playing games, I’ve been led along the way to this point and I’ve watched myself. . . it’s been an interesting view.

I’m a bundle of joy but a loner, I like my own company but truthfully I haven’t been alone. I’ve always had my divine Spirit to talk too, my divine has been the bestest friend I could ever ask for.

I understand I’m a little strange because of this

but I can’t deny this part of who God made me to be.

A child at nature but a serious dame when called to fight the tides of life. Yes, i’m vulnerable.. always have been..and I hated this part of myself. I’ve tried to protect my vulnerability but it’s never worked.. It reveals itself. I guess me trying to be strong is just an illusion.. my weakness is my strength.. or is my strength my weakness? It’s neither one of us.

There are days I want to disappear not for bad reasons just to disappear, to be a snowflake. Other times I want to jump up and down on my bed, sometimes I do.. other times I sit on my bed and giggle.. and I just can’t stop. It’s been like this for years.

I walk up and down in my bedroom talking to myself.. always done this since a child – and it never left.

Sometimes I have nothing to say to myself so I literally stare at the wall. . .Other times I stare out the window..

Sitting in silence.

My divine always lets me express myself, I’ve somehow learnt

to understand that my divine and me are one.

When I was a little younger..I was ashamed of this friendship I had. It was like having an imaginary friend, I was dependent on it.. it made me aware of things.  My divine was my best friend in the good and the bad.. later on in life ..The Spirit finally made itself known to me. I kind of needed it too.

My divine promised me that it would never leave me, at times I felt it did. Even in my most vulnerable moments it held me.

LOVE.

Is a powerful force. Its left me splattered with nothingness and yet filled me with everything at the same time. I always knew it would do this to me. I understood the highs weren’t forever but the peaceful knowing was a comforter.

It hasn’t been for the love of family, friends, a boy or a man thats ever made me truly ride for Love. This part of me is unexplainable I know it resides with my soul..

Its a part of me that strongly feels, not for anyone but just to feel..it’s a secure pressure within.. it tugs me, pulls me, breaks me, looks me in my eyes and tells me nothing. It stares at me, just like a floating feather I see it dancing through my eyes. This part of me connects me with things, people, situations, animals, specific locations and always gave me visions. This part of me often made me isolate myself. I didn’t trust people, let alone myself..only a few I could relate too.. even so I’d take long periods away from people.

I never truly understood it.

This part of me.. It made me smile in the mornings though..

                                It still makes me smile.

 at times it did pull me to want to experience something deep with another person but it never happened. This part wouldn’t open for just anyone.. it wasn’t allowed too.

                                               I always run from it anyway. I don’t know if this is selfish but its true. I know I sense strongly, but it has nothing to do with that – What i’m trying to explain cannot be explained unless my soul was to dissolve in someone elses.. another soul who understands more than the physical.. maybe then that unexplainable thing will find its answer.. but would I run away again?

I’ve some-how been in a daze but awake..

tried to force myself asleep but it never worked.

I had to keep being there.. all the time. I felt like I was asleep sometimes but I actually weren’t and how funny it was. I stayed silent in the worst moments, laughed when I should of cried, cried when I should of been smiling.. spoke too much when I could of said nothing, looked away when I should of looked straight at the situation.

Looking away means protecting myself.

To let others see what has been mis-understood was some-what a fantasy. It’s alot for myself and sometimes it takes returning.. returning home.

HOME?

Yes.. I take breaks from the world, I’ll leave everything and reside at home so that I just don’t go crazy even when I think I am. I have too hide away.. It’s essential.

I’ve been made out to be mad.

I’m insanely mad.

Figure it out for yourself.

Maybe its because I ask alot of questions.

Maybe I think to much about life.

Maybe I talk about things that some people don’t have the mindset to think in.

It’s odd but I’ve dealt with it.. on my own for me, not for anyone else. It’s helped me see the cosmic sense of things.. I guess thats the cool thing of being me. The imagination of Life way, way, way up high.. where angels sing and flowers smile..and stars battle in the heavens..I’m stuck here knowing this earthly plane and it’s systematic cells that are inbred in us to become delusional on matters out of our control.

I want to laugh so hard, at my own self.

I just did.

To be truthful I’ve never wanted to be sexy as women are, cute is better ..i’ve always felt that I had to fit the image of being a “girl” or a “young lady”. I’m too chilled for all that.

I always wanted to be bare.. just naked.

Being a legit boy would be nice, but I always knew I had a boy in me somewhere, he’s mysterious. He’s sometimes silent, and makes alot of jokes.. He finds girls annoying but puts up with them because he has a girl with him.. well a young lady, which is me ..in him.

But me and him we are both dynamics, mutants..rich in omega 3 and high in Vitamin A and E. He deals with me well, and I kind of sit back and admire the character. My divine just watches us both as one.

“I feel like i’m walking in slow motion” these were the words I muttered when I was in my own high.. many years ago. I remember that motion – I was always in that motion, a face with no expression, smiling here and there, quiet at times.. but then the whole world around me always seemed like a odd planet. I realized the matrix before I knew of the term. I was secretly a ninja turtle, Michaelangelo in fact. The boy in me is the Ninja, the girl in me is Rapunzel.

Neither one of us have truly introduced ourselves.

We are just both weirdo’s.