Dear Love

Your indescribable, no words can attain the unmeasurable extension of your expression in which upholds the entire creation. Humanity as a whole have been woo’ed by your lavish art of being, sight and existence.

We cannot know where to begin for our beginning was our first breath and our end will never be. . . for our last breath is therefore another beginning. You have taken us down many paths my dearest, holding onto me as I held onto you. People had tried to change us love but they never knew us deep down.. sometimes we forgot you but you kept calling and tugging at our heart the moment we looked away.

There is only One and so as we came as we leave as One. Although the we in you love.. is the us that we are embedded in. Within and out, above as below.. creation and existence.. ultimately the All in All. We’ve felt the electric gush of emotions and feelings, the powerful spirtual force, the veins pumping blood around the heart and the freedom of thought. Young, old, we have all felt it.

I cannot narrow you down because in you we have a choice, in you we come to understand. You are beyond us and although we try to act out our expressions of you love.. it is not an act.. It is and always has been and unless we recognize it for ourselves we will always play out an idea of love. So then what are you?

We know the character traits that define you, we know there is One of you and no other. You are hidden and not seen ..but even not being seen you are here, among us. Love ancient you are, how in awe I am of us.. of all.

My heart no longer beats so loudly, my soul no longer gasping for spirit yelps at sudden moments as it feels you move through us, a power that creates unification in the all of all. Stages and stages we have been led by you and Oh where you dwell I have longed to be there with you.. but as unseen you are, you desired us to be seen. I carry you, you carry me, You help me.. I treasure you. We cry and wipe our tears together, We lay together in silence or in laughter.. in nothingness but ever-flowing and full.

We stare at our bodies and there it is the shell – we admire the shell but we are not the shell. We are neither the thought in the shell, we are beating in the heart and we breath, energy is produced and energy is removed but Spirit is stronger than energys.. Spirit is a level of Higher Purpose, Higher Being, Higher Calling.. God.

Can we stare at you, can we admire through our eyes .. can our lips touch.. we are no longer feelings, kindled in the force as a burning bush.. a flow of light ignited on the road to Damascus. Why O’Why did we try to escape? We look at the skys above, running in our own garden – under the tree of life as the fruits fall and melt, dissolving into our bodies .. transforming us to a sacred tree, our own tree within us. Gentle as a dove, bold as an eagle soaring with the wind – a roar in the Spirit as a Lion. Our trees united.

I Am. You Are. We Are.


Appearing Metaphysically.

Life. One. Eternal is the Kingdom in Us.


The Way Of The Cross.

Pick up your cross and follow me,

I heard the voice whisper in my heart..

7 years ago.

The cross was more painful than I thought.

It seemed simple, easy and not difficult in the beginning.

The gift was free, so I couldn’t complain.. I took it after years of confusion and pain.

Little did I know the cross would reveal my deepest self, the demons up against me and the enemies plotting for my downfall. The tree of good and evil I guess.

I shed tears most of my life, I made some stupid choices only because I thought they would like me or be my friend and honestly out of fear.

I was never a bad girl, I was a simple quiet young lady with a fun side not many got to see. I entered the world wide eyed knowing that I would see some things I wouldn’t want to..experience lies and deciet, abuse and misery.. suicidal attempts and demons telling me they were going to kill me and other things that I wouldn’t want to say.

The cross seemed to me like an easy way out but it got worse, I learnt about the power of truth of Love, forgiveness, and grace. I always forgave but beat myself up for it, I didn’t realize grace was there to help me move forward.. it just hurt so much. Love was something I always wanted.. I dreamed of from a young age.. why? Only The Most High knows.. but somehow the enemy wanted to take my heart away from Love. Truth.. well when I hid my sexual abuse for years I believed I was the problem and so lied my way through situations to hide my biggest inner lie that tormented me.. day after day. One thing I realized was even the members of your household could be your enemy, Jesus taught me that.. I experienced that.

The truth is I suffered quietly and even though spiritually born again and free to know the truth .. my real truth was hidden and used against me. I fell into traps and blamed me .. but I didn’t realize it was a result of the past not being cleared, wounds not being healed and the devil didn’t want me to know the truth.

Before I was born my father tried to kill me in my mothers womb. When I was 3 the abuse began. Its pretty crazy what we go through and what we deal with. I don’t want to remember anything of the past anymore, I want my peace to remain – even though life is a rollercoaster I’d rather forget the whole past and go forward to a new complete chapter.

The cross told me to kill that seed of the tree of good and evil and now eat off the Tree of Life. No man is perfect, and I guess holding onto Christ was definately my strength and being under mind control at a certain point made me realize the enemy will find any chance to get to a person. Through there errors, and weaknesses and unhealed wounds.

I understand all I truly have is Love and thats all we have if we look deep down within us.

There ain’t nothing else I have to give.

Love is the answer to a broken soul.

Love is the answer to a broken world

Love is the answer to all in all.

I never wanted to be pitied, I just sought to understand and be understood.

Love has walked us through our trials.

It never left us.

It took our hand.

And in this.. we have power to rise up and stand.
He who believes has true life – This is

The Way Of The Cross.


You sit there as a covering, a shade. . . quenching my thirst.

On the outset it appears as a pointless destination – a never ending stop and pull.

I have learned, within the tempest which continually beckoned me to the same position. I have learned.

It must change. Navigate me – O’Sacred Word.

Yet you sitting quietly in the mist ready to secure me in this learned knowing – this remembrance.

What must I do when I remember You?

When I finally see You, do I run to the knowing or do I ack-knowledge it and walk past it.

If I go past it I’ll only plant what’s New, right next to you – you will be my refuge because you always knew.. didn’t you?

Whatever you say happens, your orders are heard never returning void. Word Oh Word, help me find in you The will, the power and the ultimate sight to what you have already created. Uncover the kingdom that you have formed in the Unseen divine and the earth will come back to you.

The two are one. The Spiritual and the physical. Can I question your intelligence or do I yell in my Spirit for you to understand my mere nonchalant mind.

Neither dismayed or dismantled by this un-usaual circumstance but you stare right back at me and I believe your eyes, I believe your lips.. I believe your ears – I believe your hands.

Your Miricle, Our Miricle. . Oasis.

You are here – I smell the air – the outsiders have answered but your plan overpowers the neighbours of our land.

Word O’ Word

Come Forth.

I Am in the I Am

An empty mind with thoughts that are

Echoed in the heart. A clear path and

The rejection of unwanted feelings that

others. .

May try to place on your freedom. . .

Toxic thoughts from burdened individuals..

Criticisim of others who never knew you.

Observing the outset of all things brings

Perspective to a reality that only can be

Created from within. Are you any better than

Another? Never but your realisation to

Your own consciousness explores places

That is yet left to be rejuvenated in the

Stagnant tears of the dead. .

The dead in you.

The resurrection. . Is evident now,

To the hidden dimensions of life, the power

Investing in accumalating this certainty to


The opening for others, if they desire

To see. . Is the opening to yourself.

You are thy sister/brothers keeper.

The mirror to their own surfaces, their own

Picture as they see. Do you see what they see?

Unless both eyes are awakened to see far

more vastly inwardly the battle remains in

Anothers own head or maybe yours?

Who knows. . .

As we enter in this wholesome, eternal and

Ever-growing power we become masters of

A reality formed and created by the Governor,

The Supreme the Unseen watcher and

Partaker of Life..

The Giver Of Destiny is revealing one’s

instruction to become the one, within

The I Am.



In my Surrender

In my surrender

I become myself.

In my surrender

I release myself.

In my surrender

I reveal myself.

I reveal myself.

I reveal myself.

I’m on the edge of glory, my fingers slipping away.. turning my head forward to making the conscious decison to forget ALL that was behind me.. ALL that played a part in the old – including him.

In my surrender I stand tall, I’m free..

I sing songs of joy . . .

My heart echoes. . .

I hear Love’s melody.

Warrior Of Love

In the stillness, I recognize the soul:

Having a heart so soft has been a struggle, it has been a pain. Others have found ways to mis-use this open spirit to take from it and manipulate it. Seeing this has always affected this soul, often made it hide in its own dorm. Shedding tears for people who never cared for this being, ack-knowledging those who never ack-knowledged this soul. Helping others who in return left you alone when in need. Could this soft and open heart be a curse? The energy in helping others, raises them exceedingly but constantly you see you are not reaching where you should? What could you be doing wrong? What are others taking from you, what are you giving away?

Love has been a war in my soul from the moment i breathed, the battle to understand and hold on to it remembering whilst letting it go, so I can receive it somehow.. somewhere.. beyond the clouds ..I imagine. Self pity is a curse but realization is a awakening to something knocking in your very being to elevate your consciousness. You see, I realize Love has to suffer, it is played with.. hurt, mis-used, ignored and many more things ..but yet throughout all those mind, spirit, soul and body battles it never changes.. it always returns to itself, understanding its value. . What it must continue doing, what it is destined to do.

There’s a mystery in every soul, one must find it. . One must persevere in this mystery and never give up. The dark world fights for us not to find the mystery in ourselves not to reverse its continual spells against us. What shall be bound on earth, shall be bound in heaven. What shall be loosed on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

The mystery unfolds by faith, the true manifestation of an eternal and powerful being is through undergoing the war but remaining one – the core essence elevates and illumines something far beyond human comprehension BUT it is possible that every human is capable of seeing it. . Some may be frightened of it, others ashamed of themselves. . Others merely just look with hate. . But some are inspired and go away to research within themselves. Love is not a religion, it’s essence comes from obedience to the in-nate eternal spirit that resides within – we reflect it – we are open to it yet we are blinded in it. One must seek to open within it and life shall be revealed to them. The Law is in the hearts of men, it has lived from the beginning of creation. Each living soul has been bound to it, to which they always hear the call within their heart. . Not everyone listens, and when they do they really abide in its truths. . And when they abide in its truth. . Do they pay attention to the journey within this eternal cycle?

You are a reflection of your neighbor did you know? Becareful what you reflect it may return to you – hurtful may it be if you show the wrong fruit. But even if one slaps you, turn around and smile ..if they hurt you with horrible words.. bless them with kindness – For you will reflect to them what already lives that they have not yet recognized in themselves.

I am no longer bound by this insidious and obsurd physical realm, it to me is a playground of unwanted thoughts, feelings and actions. Come out of such stupidity, open up to what seems out of reach but actually lives within you.

Has it been a curse then to Love?

Nixie my friend, certainly not. . .

It is a blessing that can only empower and enhance your being, if to you its a curse – i guess your own hiding of yourself has been your downfall, the devils certainly lurking in your mist.

Ancient Love has been our teacher, our messenger. . A message. .

To Look within and begin again.

– Elle


Farewell Ol’ Friend

Farewell ol’ friend

Farewell ol’ friend. .

It was all too good to be true

It was all too good to be true.

You decided to run, I waited for a while..

I guess this was all meant to be.. you was a part of me. I wander if you ever knew we was both called to be free.

The divine presence in you and me.

Farewell ol’ friend

Farewell ol’ friend. .

It was all too good to be true

It was all too good to be true.

I waited so long, I can’t wait no more.

I guess its the end.

I’m closing the door.

Farewell my friend.

Farewell my friend..

I waited just to know, if you were the one for my soul but you went off and left me..and ignored my call beau.

Farewell my friend..

I guess this was not a unity afterall.


The End.

Listen to the Soul

I feel you from afar but i’m choosing to be distant.

I know you have a real heart but for a while there has been resistance.

I have been contemplating all that i am and all that i am able to give you. . .

Everything is new, your wondering if what you felt was an actual reality. It was and still is.

My love is truly your love, and thanks to God you never forgot me. . You remembered, and so you waited.

Though we have not sat down and spoke..face to face and in depth, we have communicatied in ways that seem impossible to men. I know you deeper than you think.. and you know me deeply too.

Our silence is preparing for our divine meeting.

Are you ready for true love, are you ready to be seen as the naked ..transparent soul you have become. To be united with your reflection. . The reflection that first noticed you before you were ever able too see what you now see. Are you ready for the beauty of what we are to come to light?

I know your ready.

You are my sister, my friend, my soul.. my love and you will no longer be taken from me again.

I love you, and I am with you no matter what you face.

Feel my embrace – feel my love.. no more imaginations. . This is the authentic us.

It is Us . . You and Me – our dreams are unfolding.

So it begins . . . .

Wishful Thinking

I would like to think it is possible.

Me and You.

I would like to think that those dreams were real and not just desires running wild within me.

I left the possibility of it actually being real by forgetting about us, but everytime i try to forget. . .

I Remember.

I released you but you keep lingering around my thoughts, my being.

Getting you out of my head has happened, your no longer attached to me in any way but I can’t seem to let your existence leave my souls memory.

I have spoken about you to others like we are real and it could happen but in the back of my mind. . . And in my heart. . . I gather it all to be wishful thinking.

How can one speak about a lover they do not yet have? When I think of the possibilities it doesn’t quite make sense. .

Your not too good for me, I’ve gotten rid of all negative reasons to why you wouldn’t look twice at me.. I honestly don’t care. .

I am worthy of the best, l can give what is explained to be out of this world

I see my worth far beyond appearance.

I want to erase you but you can’t be erased so long as your still there. . .soul to soul. . Dream to dream. . Heart to heart.

I don’t want to wait for you, I would rather move on. .even if your memory cannot be erased, maybe then experiencing Love without it being you. .the one I always wanted could possibly help to remove your image away from my love. I’m just being honest.

You didn’t stop knocking. You kept appearing.

When I purposely forced you away, you came back in my dreams warning me that you was the one and I shouldn’t escape from your clutch. . My touch was like electricity running from your legs to your heart – making your mind fully aware that this was a reflection of your soul. I never heard from you after that.

They say the strongest love has always been from our young days, school years.. and then comes the separation. . If it ever has the chance to come back then it could be sweet.

BUT then. . .

I realize, it could all be wishful thinking.

So i’m forced to move on. . .

Hoping one day this Love will connect or it would helplessly erase itself.

Wishful thinking huh. . .

Wishful thinking.

Now is Now

We are different. .

Unique in our own ways . .

Yet still resembling the ONE-ness of all that is. . Creation.

We share one reality, the knowing and learning of being. . Being here, at this moment . . Where we are now.

To detach our essence from every label, and to rest in its flow.. our soul.

No longer chasing vanity, materials nor people but understandilng all that we are and ever to be is found in the moment we are we.

Now is Now.

The essence can vibrate at a distance, it can vibrate really close and it can remain still in its core abilites to commune with itself and its Creator.

Now is Now.

You may think you know but it will get broken down to be learned in a new way.. a new understanding. You may think you are right or wrong but Spirit recognizes all and has its say and then moves on.

A Journey to forever.

Now is Now ♡