We are awake in the process of memory,
Our conscious minds able to remember the feel’s of yesterday,
today and what is to come in hope..and what we are when asleep.
The lovers experience was created by us, by we and our hidden desires.
Every memory was a passion of want, every imagery a conscious understanding of
What we wanted to create.
But why should we want, if it is ours already?
It is real only because you know how you feel and you never let it go away.
I remember you because every part of me could sense what you do.
Every part of me feels what you feel, because it is my inner wish – To Love and Be Loved.
If everything we were was bound in memories, then discovering the places
Where reoccurrences have no effect within would be the place
I would not fathom, with you.
A place with no pretense, a place of silence where our souls are flying in the wind of being.
The heart beat reassured my knowing that all is defined in the heart of everything we do,
Everything we are, everything we say and do not say.
Here, me and you.
You took me with you as I took you with me . .only to relive what we always knew,
What we understood was to happen before we can understand and see ourselves.
To remember remembrance and embrace memory to cure the ache in ourselves.. and let the memory deflate into open-ness, the vast eternal space.
If everydays world is an illusion, then what are we?
If your eyes stood still in mine, and you walked away in your own path
Then what was our still? Did you reinvent your stillness the moment you left my presence,
Did you have a renewed heart the moment you felt the intensity of mine and yours together?
Love struck us in the moments we didn’t believe it could, we did not know the time or the hour,
Like a thief in the night – the dragons revealed it-self and the bats flew in the darkness looking for settlement but there were none.. just the nightmare in the locked remembrance of memory.
I asked if you remembered me because I remembered you. I looked into you and saw me,
I saw the part of me that was left unsaid. I looked away from you because I saw the part of me in you that I held onto so tightly that I refused to let go and give it away. I was left in your trance as you drove away because I remembered what it was like to have you enter into my life, as I helplessly watched you leave.
Memories haunted me, I never forgot them. They were reminded to me but you were the biggest memory that held up my system. . but I knew it would and I knew the moment I looked up and saw you. I knew my time and your time was away, it was never here.
Love has us questioning, looking and searching..asking and knocking.
It proves to us it is not just our actions in the law of life but the design of our innate nature that allows us to summon our intimate selves in the many others.
Walking away and forgetting couldn’t be the answer, and allowing it to be a romantic cliché was the forbidden fruit.
Every word spoken is not just the creation of many but of us, the one’s who deeply did see
And that One who held me.
Romance, passion, desire, intimacy. . . you look at me and know
All those things already without touching me, what can you know when your with me.
No one can know, not even we can.
Is this our firmness, Is this our patience?
That what we know has always been done but what we have is our secret
Not discovered by men but by our spiritual stature, where God dictates each spirit his
capacity for one-ness with another.
The mind desired you in the parts of my soul that I refused to let go of, the part I held on to. . yes. . .you were the heart of the mind.
It seemed as if hallucinated I was the crime, secluded in this insomnia ride, whether challenged or in the peace. . the insomnia was there for me to face.
You was never far away from me, you was there on the scene’s just like me.
Watching and observing all matter but being reintroduced to the science of infatuation, romance and want.
That was never enough for you, never enough for me.
The sacredness of the Spiritual essence within us knocked in Spirit – it rebounded in us.
You say you love me, should I believe you.. even if you know that nothing was ever new under the sun.
That this feeling and reason met together and produced a flame so intense that death
Could not reach it’s heights, because resurrection purified it’s sight.
Can I believe you love me?
Can I believe you genuinely can see me as I see you – your not what you think you are,
And neither am I. The soul’s interpretation enables nothing new to be under the sun,
So what do we do?
What do we do when we understand this observation, what do we become.
You don’t want to mention it, or express it.
I feel that you don’t want to express it in the open before men but only in our sacred place.
I wouldn’t know what it means would I.. I’d just believe it, in it’s truth.
What a spiritual high of life we have recognized, being not new but sanctified and
All that is left is this space, you look in my eyes with peace.. And you don’t look away.
I should be shy but I can’t be, I look into you and this intimate space is locked in us both as we
Are stilled by the presence of the spiritual world circulating our trust.
You told me, don’t tell no one what we are because what we are is for us alone.
I told you I won’t let it go, or let it slip away because doing so would destroy our home.
What no ears have heard, what no eyes have seen is our experience as we tread this intimate one-ness together. You hold me even when I cannot feel your arms, I kiss you even when you cannot see my lips.
How did God create such beauty that we ourselves are lurking in it’s mist and not discovering it’s true secrets for ourselves?
You have taken the step, your heart spoke in the fire as you held my tears with compassion.
One is what we shouldn’t let go of, it’s what we are bound to in all eternity this is our vow..
And in this vow I see this One, and you see this One.
We are both silent in our yearn, even close together no one can stand the heat.
There are many mysteries to us, in our secret only we can discover them
Me and You.
Divine He and Divine She.
Give birth to me Ma..
Head shining reflections of the moon.
I want to see you with my eyes closed.
We surface the pearly drops of rainfall,
as the rivers cleanse us intensely.
Once it was icy we thought the rocks were
impossible to break.
The drizzle’s of it’s art, sharp and revealing
daggers of it’s rigid and cold atomsphere.
With you it seemed even the mist was impossible
of hiding such view.
Even the ashes of snow were reflections in
your disappearance, being renewed.
For my part, it is like the particles not yet experienced..
laying at the edge of the sea.
The ice is breaking, the freezing waters are rumbling..
We are both sinking, and as we slowly melt into the invisible..
our last words are..
“Be still Antartica, let the waters of rose become the sentiment palm of our inner-most intimate abode.”
You stare at me intimately. .
I’m questioning the exclamation mark in your eyes.
There’s a part of this I wonder mostly about when your asleep.
Even our words have to make sense, put together.. assembled in similes, metaphors, aliterations, cradled in adjectives, verbs and adverbs.
Do you know what I mean? Seriously do you?
You say all these things and it happens to have sense on it’s own, it has created it’s own design and therefore it communicates – a mysterys time out of time – ascending in all eyes.
Your so quiet sometimes. I question and mark the silence. . .
It doesn’t come with miseries but with an assurance.
What is assurance if miseries doesn’t come?
What are expressions if we continually flow in them as birds. .
You smile at me sometimes, you talk to me.
You like entering into my flow – I rest in you.
There’s quite alot I found interesting about you, but somehow as soon as the sparkles show. . . you hide away, you shelter into the shell.
Are you caressing me for my own good, to be silent.
Are you my intimate show, an entertainment of my own.
Bewildered and entertwined in you. . you are a part that anciently speaks
but it’s words are undefined – understood by the inner eyes – the crystals embedded inside.
Deeply touching, softness and a signature rhythym to you.
You are unexplainable, your words retainable but still – though you are hidden in plain sight. . .you fly away, again and again. . Yet I still see you returning.
Impressions of a universe.
Dimensions created on earth.
Realms we attend, to climb the cern. . our own cern.
You are adored by the birth you bring, Oh how you are driven..
..driven to create more.. to use the reproductive cause as your shrine.
You have asked to use mine, I’ll be more than honoured to share your celestial intimacy to be the enchantment in your seduction of combined lovers inside of your illuminous womb.
A dancing of your shield, An annointing of your seal.
No one can take it away from me.
What I’ve not forgotten, what is deep in me.
I get frightened at my feelings but with you as my secret heart beat, I find my comfort.
Your unknown to me but I hide this inner world souly and I’m intoxicated by the peace I’ve found in knowing I love you.
I see you sometimes and I feel you and I wonder if I’ll ever experience you.
Experience your closeness our togetherness and our silent stares. If the ache would be there or if it would eventually go away. .
I believe it won’t. . . I know somehow the ache would be the tie, the knot which can’t be broken however many times we may try to pull apart.
It feels strange when I think of you .. other times It seems like other people sense me sensing you and I get embarrassed on how I feel. Thoughts of you make me shy.. sometimes it makes me laugh and other times I just stare. . stare at the stranger I have held on to and not let go of.
From seeing you and looking away. . and seeing you appear in my dreams.. seeing you walk the streets and my heart gasp in awe.. to the heartbeat.. to questions that i put behind me.. to an emotional war.. to my inner war and to the pain of holding on to something I shoud of let go of. You somehow was this inner world that I already had on my own and it seemed like you entered it with me.
I want to escape it all sometimes but God knows I can’t escape you.. to erase you would be difficult even though your a stranger.. a stranger close to my heart.
I may be a strange lover but It’s only because my world is different. You might think it peculiar.. or maybe peculiar is better. but it’s a hidden place. . a secret we can both go into.. where our peculiar nature is open for us both to know what we are.
To say it too.. gives me the chills.. the mystery is what makes me want to scream.
It’s like a bird flying but when it lands it loses control of its wings. .
In ways that I don’t know exist.. in emotions that sometimes I don’t feel.. In thoughts that are still and in that place.. where time keeps being rewinded.. and replayed.. forwards and backwards.. we notice it .. we notice the strangeness and yet we remain silent in there.. where other things are kept that we both know are out of this hemisphere.. out of this world and out of space.. and we will know this when we are alone together.
That place.. our place.. your place and mine.
Where no one can understand our essence accept for us. . I’ve tried running and denying, I can’t get away from you even if I tried.
Tell me. . . what should I do?
She sat in the coffee shop smiling at the passers by as she watched life being seen by all. Her inner essence sat stilled wondering on the Love past.
Her soul was stilled and the passion jolted in her body as she was startled by a presence behind her. She slowly turned around, there stood a young man.. his skin complexion lighter than her brown cocoa skin, his hair had defined curls and his cheeks hugged into his facial bone structure.
“Hi” he said, looking straight into her.
“Hi” she replied, confused..nervous and taken aback by his presence alone.
He seemed to know her presence more than she knew his. He stood there staring into her, the cafe was near enough empty and an elderly couple facing the outter windows sat speaking to eachother lovingly.
“Can I sit next to you” he asked calmly.
He sat down in the chair not taking his eyes off her, and she was beginning to feel a heavy knot in her core.
‘Who the heck was this guy’ she thought, his stare digging into her womb.
He seemed mysterious but very much as herself – pulled away but still there.
I guess it takes one to know one.
“I saw you from across the road, your elegance spoke to me – who are you” he said.
She smiled.. and looked outside the window,
“I’m She, and thankyou for your compliment”
He turned to look out the window,
“Life is a mystery isn’t it, our twists and turns. The insights and questions the whole gathering of what we are. . the hidden things it seems so secretive so scary doesn’t it”
She turned to look at him.
‘Man this guy is definately heavy’ she thought assessing his lips and his neck. .
For one second she wanted to wrap her hands around his neck but not squeeze it.. to just hold it. She widened her eyes quickly before she would get carried away in imagination.
“What makes you see so intimately in Life” she asked looking back out the window.
This time he turned and smiled at her, his mouth gasped a little.. loud enough for her to hear him taking a breath. . she continued to stare at the window.
“People like you. . the rareness and hope to meet people like you. When you just know intimately theres a deep secret connection they feel and want to share. . hidden in there own shadow with another. I have desired what could tear me into me, what could look into me deeply and then unmould it and mould it again with me and in me. That intimacy that can make me cry and make me weak but make me strong for us both but for the truth. Its something you want to share but cannot be done if you do not stop and look”.
She had tears in her eyes as she continued to stare out the window.. refusing to look into him.. her heart pulled at the grace in his words. He noticed her strong presence heat and his heart was pulled into her, as he felt his own beat.
They sat in silence.
He looked out the window too.
“Whats your name” she asked.
He put his head down,
“I’m He, the one you know ..the one you thought of secretly in you. The one you pondered on but pushed away because of fear of getting to close. I’m he.. the one who knows you in ways you never imagined because I discovered you as you discovered me. I felt you just as you felt me. I’m he, the one who doesn’t let go easily the one who recognizes myself in another just like me. I’m he the one who understands her.. just her because she is me, and I know she exists. . I believe she does but it scares me, because I know what it could do to me. I’m He, the one I know ..you know. . the one you truly understand even without words. The one who could make me feel things deeply that no one else could, the one who could break me in the lowest parts of myself and I’ll still hold on, because its not you.. it’s me. I’m he.. i’m you, and you already know that truth.”
She moved her hand to touch his knee, the feeling of her hands sent electric shockwaves throughout his body he instantly stood up and hugged her. His eyes looking dim and tired as if crying – but I guess he knew his soul had enough faith to recognize himself and to reveal himself from his purest being ..what he thought he couldn’t do. . . but he knew she would understand. . He knew she wouldn’t reject him.
He knew some-how she would grasp the truth even it it seemed crazy, if it made no sense. As long as he could tell her the truth. . He would be safe to himself again.
I want to stop day dreaming into you.
I want to get over it all.
I want to just fast forward everything.
You have me warped into you that I can’t seem to turn to another. What if it wasn’t really meant to be?
I then am stuck in a dilemma because I’ll have to find a way to remove you from my heart.
She: “Your eyes melt my soul, I am forced to look away at the presence of your firm being in me. I am reassured in your brown pupils that you will hold me and rock me to my warmth. You create a solitude in me where no one can enter but your strength, your brown skin mesmerizes me.. I am pulled into a trance by your beauty.. I lose myself in your presence.. I am hallucinated by your stature.
Your heart is as the sun, bright and glistening.. a heat piercing into my spirit and yet still warming my inner genitals by the glory of Gods grace in you.. in me.. in us.”
He: “Why have you hypnotized me in your unseen place, why have you risen to surround me in your touch softer than a babies murmur.. softer than I have ever known. Why must I yearn for you in places beyond my manly pleasure of entering your home. My heart needs you, my soul craves you.. my whole being weeps in need of you.. your hold in me. I’m pulled to you in ways I cannot believe.”
She: “It is not just this flower of life you water in the soil of your command, it is the walk of your legs as you slowly blend with the wind.. the passing of your head.. the slight push of your jaw… the blink of your calming eyes.. the arms that lay gently on your side. I am staring at my Lord.. with brown wooly hair and brown skin that is my cream..my natures bliss…my oil to my hair. You have me perplex at your sight.. I want to flee.
He: “Why must you flee my intimate gazelle, you are the earths soil to my plantation.. the bones to my own bone. Why must you run when I so dearly long for you.. other ladies may seem splendid to the eye flaunting there being but you are more than gold, & emeralds .. diamonds or rubies..you are The crystal myrrh with frankincense.. The unheard of gems that embody my soil. Your tears ache my being, they create in me a pain that lingers to my core. .A pain I cannot experience with no one else but you. . You enrich my sperm with innocent desire, that can only bring tears from my soul into my eyes ..sliding down my cheeks into your mouth as you swallow my pain, my hidden secrets, the feelings that go un-noticed you quench my thirst and I am in you..resurrected to entale the mystery of our design. .
We are both He & She, We are both the danger zone to our own penetrated desire melting in our catapult.
You dissolve into earth just like I.
Yet we grow into the largest tree
Images of the Unseen force, dark as soil.. but bright as the sun. Our powers are the connection of the Living One and the Universe.
Our Divine Mystery.
Seems like letting you go is to painful for the soul memory.
I’ve had many interludes in my musical piece, my orchestra band continue to flow with sweet sounds of angelic poetry.
They say Love is a battle field, a reconstruction site.. the valley of the shadow of death.
I somehow tred carefully and at times I’ve been in traps that succombed my whole being.. constantly crying out on my own..to the unknown and yet still the greatest strength penetrated from the invisible and made itself known.
You came into my life, but you disappeared. .
You somehow were the whole of my heart and my mind and the God who governs that saw how you were the lure into his territory.
The heart of light.. the heart that mysteriously collected life.
Do you believe in something outside of yourself and inside yourself.. also away from yourself something that can make you speechless in the presence of him or maybe her? That silence that echoes more than a 1000 words and that laughter which rolls you both into each others arms. The smiles and kisses that take your breath from your inner being and the dance to the hold of eternity.. the eye stare that grabs your spirit and chokes it into your soul..gluing you from within and captivated from without.
I knew it would touch me, I questioned it. . right where the light was. . it touched the place. Its not needing you, its knowing that not needing you ushers in a call.. a mystic wonder that makes it hard to release such an intense truth. I can’t let you go.. no matter how hard I try.
What has it done to you? Have you changed.. who were you.. who are you now.
Does it even matter?
I chose God over everything, even where you think you mean everything only God comprehends that majestic sovereignty that none can grasp but those who yearn for the inevitable.
It’s fleeting, this emotional rollercoaster and then it beckons itself back through other experiences. . but your strength forces the power of this raw burning fire to dissolve into water.
I care about you. I don’t think I can miss you but I can care enough to know that your presence is a gift. .to me. I don’t know your presence but I feel it, maybe my imagination takes me to that place but I know your presence is my hidden eyes.
Hidden vows in my heart, sweet words only for you. I believe those hidden words are the inspiration for the musical piece, my orchestra seem to love playing.
You are unforgettable, I don’t really want to forget. I honestly don’t.. but I don’t want to have to be madly insane in this that I somehow cannot perceive reality.
It has embedded something.. whether we all know it has taken place, it’s already been seen or whether its just a play in action or most importantly beyond belief and the greatest story of truth that recreates itself in us.. who is strong enough to keep the touch with the unseen. The Part in which touches and melts you but the eyes cannot quite resemble such a sacred feel. . its glare piercing to a soft place.. who can take this connection.
God knew and has always known the imperfection of humanity in which we fall victim to believing the knowing when we ourselves are unknown.
We consistently wonder and contemplate on the things un-necessary and so what we are lessens in the process. Long was the love of an endless call out of time. I sought for you, did I find you? I called to you and did you come? My heart rang the bell . . did you open the door? I was there staring into your eyes did you ever recognize me?
I looked away ..did you make me look towards you again?
You never saw me but my invisible spoke.
Tell me the mystery of God if he so greatly made me in you.. tell me what a great love one is. For One is what I cannot fathom and even in this state I can hallucinate.. maybe stop breathing and even still I know One is with me.
Cradling one in the manger of my ocean, as my still dances at last in his solemn heart.
The learning of her language is unorthodox, a premature end to society conformity.
Long ago when the winds of sobriety were the echoes of her soul she stood among a world of hallucinations.
Unable to prescribe her own self medication she plastered her sores in the name of dedication, she squeezed the pain of her bruises in the knowing of God.. yet still the distant future beckoned for the warfare of Life or death.
The Supreme in all, had come in the wings of the heavens and flew upon her tired and sacred essence in which she called out to the Almighty. She raised her voice to the highest heavens where the Messiah was listening to her melody so tender, so true.
How he sent the divine pouring of his mercies upon her, a friend in which the Father and the word manifest itself in her presence.
Teaching her the details of Life, the opening and closing of doors.. the weaknesses and strengths of ones own core.
Her questions continued, her stare searched her surroundings.. she was on the higher planes of consciousness scoping what she never thought her mind could. How the divine showed her many revelations and yet still she had no clue the ultimate Love she would have to embody the truth she would have to become. Her enemy envious of her sought every way to bring her high into captivity, and so latched onto her through frequent visits to her mind.. the use of other humans to discourage her from the path and steal her energy. She endlessly knocked on the doors of heaven fascinated by the divines beauty and her search for a world outside of this humanity! She was not of this world, she could not adjust to it.. neither was it easy to live as a human when deep down she knew .. somewhere in her.. she was distant, her land not being here but elsewhere.
Lovers couldn’t understand her, and she was yet to comprehend the parts of herself she had not grasped.
Oh’ Soul mate, the whole and the part .. the crys of the heart.. she wondered helplessly.. undergoing challenges..
until she bumped into a familiar face and the reverse psychology of the prince of the air forced her to relive an existence past and she drowned into the invisible man, as the whisperer mis-used her power to dominate her authority and re-instate her emotions at the forefront of her being. The illusion left her in a perplex condition meaning that all that would take place would somehow be a trance, if she awoke then The Almighty had a greater sovereign plan ahead with the divine part of itself given unto her. If she stayed asleep unable to war and arise from the unfortunate stupor she was bound to the underworlds and left to swim in the endless pools of torment and suffering. Oh how the underworld had prepared for the war, she had seen glimpses of this war coming but she was not prepared for the serpents manipulation to derange her pure intented heart in the name of love.
She discovered many arts, and knowledge, falsness and insights .. portals and hidden secrets in which led her into a darker pool awaiting the bite. One sunny and random day she bumped into a simular face, she recognised him and she felt his heart.. this spiralled her mind out of control once the bite had taken place.. she howled in the dark of night and smiled in the day. She was in his spell and she had to come out!!!
The Divine One, merciful and true saw her losing herself.. yet still she never let go of the divine truth. She steadfastly continued on holding onto The One in which she had promised never to allow anything or anyone to take away from her. Angels were in her mist as she warred day and night, months she weeped..she continued knocking. The Almighty knew she would escape this horrific plight if she studied herself and continued holding on. During the studies she recognized her suffering, her pains, the truth.. she fell in love and she had to journey back to her inmost self.
This was a touching story. . where the storms of life began earlier and silently continued to creep on her. Diligently keeping her vows to God she never let go of his word that . . .
brought life to her quiet and old soul, her joyful and free spirit & her simple heart.
This young She was extraordinary in her inner being and yet still she never saw just how beautiful she really was.
Somehow all she desired was the mysterious winds of truth and unconditional love to create a new earth, a new heaven for not only her but all she would come to meet.
She wanted God to rule humanity once again and freedom to be for all men, to return to the knowing of the supreme.. And oh how she longed for the true lover of her soul to melt his Spirit into her own and to infuse his love within her – When the thrones of the heavens would bless a sacred union promised from long ago to both wondering souls questioning the quest of life.
She, well…. She who was.. and is.. and is to come.. is in He and He carried her whilst she beheld the sacred rebirth of her truth in the divine.
The delight of The Sovereign Creator was soon to appear that whomever beheld He would be transformed as a blink of an eye.
Yes, She had only just begun and how the rain and treasures of the heavens would come pouring upon her and all the beloveds of the land.
She was the one they never noticed, the one they always looked past.. The One who held on to eternal Love.