Trust, Understanding & Acceptance.

So you question Love. . you ponder on it.. you wonder what is this potent depth that arouses every part of your senses. Your joys, your fears, your secrets, your unknown hidden parts.. the places you dwell within. The places unseen, the parts of you that seems unquestionable. It’s not really a battle it’s just silent inner world’s roaming seeking for their own answers. The answers that can put you at the right place at the right time.. in your own inner high to cause a catastrophic event.. one that would be the dominoe collapse of your spiritual home. One that will destroy everything causing havoc on most things in a subtle way and yet as you war for the power to stay sane you are forced to hold onto the invisible. Should this make you mad? Prideful, lustful.. or even a point of sexual desire… No. At the point Love enters in pride, lust and sexual desire is diminished.
What are we love? What is the cause of a war your built to win when eliminating what is known to man, to deliver him a secret message – a code of conduct he must himself unravel. God the supreme is sovereign in truth .. so we.. Love.. huh having descended from on high to rest among men who call you.. this holy pact you forge as the evils summon powers to dominate you.. the sovereign must wage war on your behalf. They say God is Love do they really understand what they say?
You compare God to something that self-destructs.. and yet rebuilds. Destroy this temple and in 3 days I will rebuild it again.
It’s not the events at all is it? It’s not the ties either. So why do you believe? What do you believe? What is this string that leads you to the throne of providence… what is that cry that keeps you kneeling before the throne. Don’t tell me faith.. that itself is just a key.
Hope, that is the initiator of life’s key. Love is everywhere at one, seeing in the hidden places. God partakes of it’s truth, for doesn’t it come from He?
Male and Female in He.. I guess I was somehow looking in it through a lens that I knew would make me see it’s insight.
The mystery is truly a kite.

The Heart-beat💜💜💜

It’s been a year since your heart truly was felt in mine. It seems crazy that I haven’t forgot, its been with me the whole time.
I may be a helpless romantic love bird, who seems clingy and over emotional and affectionate and silly and extremely odd.. but a heartbeat means everything.
Its a melody to my songs, a rhyme to my spiritual being.
I wanted to forget but I always remember important things.
I could write so much but I won’t.
Mr. Heartbeat, it all was too much what I saw after I felt you but all I know is even though we are not together and may not be together in the future.. Know that..
Your my Heart-Beat ; And I will always love you and remember you!

Happy HeartBeat Anniversary 💜💜💜


Recieve me

I want to touch you in places unseen.
For you to understand, what I see.
I want you to know life is in you and in me.
I want you to grasp our truth, our love,
our depth and our intimacy.
Something I haven’t experienced with no one else, something I’ve always known.. something that was buried deep but in you I saw my home.
Can I give you all of me?
Can I show you my unseen, only you.
Will you really care for this place that I feel.
You feel it when I do.. but I choose to not reveal it all to you.
It may be too much, it may be something your not used to.. but I want my being with you, by you and in you. I want to cry with you in the deepest parts of our souls.
I want to stay in your arms and even though far away I want to know your within me.
You are my love, a love I have come to know.. the sweetest love I have ever known disguised in a silent smile and a quick glance.
Your the thoughts of my heart and the echoe of my sanctuary where life desires to be manifest.

   Will you receive me?
Will you accept me?

I don’t want you to run away, I don’t want you to look away. I want you to stay.

Please just stay.. and you will know I am you, just as much as you are me.

Just stay.. and receive me.
I’m here.


I look at the door, pondering much. . I look outside my window, to see the reflection of the orange sun in a peaceful atomsphere. Isit normal to say that this part of life or maybe the part just lived was full speed, no traffic lights.. the amber was stalling, the green kept going and the red light just stayed on. In it all I remained able to see, but yet still over-taken by circumstances.

     Tears can no longer express the depth of the emotion in my soul. My inner child lingers in the peace of The Father, he who understands this being more than any human.. For He, The Creator I can cry, for no one can surpass such a great love.

     My heart having felt the feelings of such deepness and fondness has now reached it’s own tiredness but subtle joy.. a quiet joy.. one which holds the knowing of never being alone but in the hands of my Heavenly Father.

    I loved, I truly loved.. it was greater than me, but it fought.. it fought for what it did not quite realize was sacred in itself. To admit that I loved someone so deeply it took every part of me without he being here.. it seems to be a comical joke.

    I look beyond the situation, to myself. I see the way I reacted to it all, never understanding that the love I hold is potent, of course a force I held within, and did not share in depth. I always knew it was something that would consume me, it would reach the parts I hoped it wouldn’t. This young man brought out the weapon.. his own heart, courageously in fact.

    It felt like I was pierced in the side, nailed on the cross and ridculed by all the manipulation.. the delusion. How can a love so innocent, one hidden to crucify me in delusions. . appearing itself at time’s to be wise, yet still the inbetween redeemed me.

    I gave everything I could to understand, I searched. I heard calls, and then I called out to the young man.. and he heard. Did he call me too? Maybe.

    I was crushed by this feeling, bruised, defeated because the only part of me that desired the knowing of what it really was, had been numbed by the idea of what it could be. It seemed like a fall from the greatest heavens, the beauty of life to the dreading reality of torment and confusion.. only in this place I was forced to look at the idea of all delerium whilst knowing that the Alpha and Omega was the one in whom all glory was due, and love itself was not a losing game but the art of all things known and unknown..revealing itself at its time, even itself being not of this perimeter.. operating not of this region of life.

What does it really profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul? It profits him nothing.

The Only One in whom all allegiance goes to is The Heavenly Father, The King of Kings, The Lords of Lords, The Beginning & The End, The First & The Last. Yahweh Elyon Sabaoth.

The soul is precious, the inner sacredness of us all. I lost it in him, and then I found it again. It was resurrected by the greatest love unseen and then found in the mist of the beloveds. Quite a few of us huh?

   You see, it isn’t for play.. it’s not to be consumed, neither to lure. It is not to be over-indulged in, to be seen as anything, it’s not too much, it doesn’t seek attention, it is not praised for it’s outter beauty it cannot be, it’s only seen within..from what is out – so theres a secret to understanding beauty.. it’s calm is its own radiant glow, it itself is present always, forever in our mist, to be alive and to appreciate it’s movement in it’s beautiful seat, the heart.. it’s breath – the spirit, it’s expression – the soul, it’s imagery reflected through all that is, the lens of the mind.

    Hmmm… Perfection and Holiness can be attained according to a mans inner desire. Whatever it costs to attain one must war, for love is itself the door in which opens the heavens deeply within our being.

   The young man showed me something words will not describe. To describe it would be ongoing, there are many particles and cells within it.. creating a labortory, the whole equation brings us back to the beginning again where God created the heavens and the earth.

   How else can I express how I feel, than to stare into space.


What are they?

What makes you more of a man and less of a woman. What makes you more of a woman and less of a man.
What then creates this web of uncertainty in the skull that we now are at war within and out. Who are you? Are you me, am I you?
She can lure you and He can dominate.
What are they? One must escape the time frame, one must get out the maze and enter In the beginning.

In Her 3

The saying is true,

‘No man is worthy of the kingdom, if he looks back’.

When all takes place, when the thick dark clouds and the rains dissolve who we are – we are left distraught. Once the sun is in our horizon and we begin to see each new day with eyes of patience and determination, driven by hope. . . do we become a slave to our past any longer.

Everyone has a past, some started off bad and ended up good. Other’s good and ended up bad, one thing I know in the mist of my endless trials I guess there’s things thats impossible to forget.

I guess him, the way I felt about him.. not knowing him but having experienced something and continued too. I wanted to escape it but I couldn’t help how I felt, it was so strong in me, it was something I didn’t want to let go of because it felt like it belonged to me, as much as I wanted to run. . I couldn’t run as I always knew how too.

How do you explain scattered emotions, how do you explain a deluded mind, how do you explain hidden fears, how do you explain a hole that no one else knows but God. How do you look at someone in the eyes and know they see you, all of you.. every part – you surely can’t speed away can you. It made my strangeness not have the ability to hide much longer.

Looking back I cannot remember even though I do. I’m learning that we all must look ahead. I felt so deeply, and even when I remember his face I do not want to pull away but still it seems like he entering my world .. made me not alone. Who wants to be alone? But when your world is not like everyone else it’s your own, someone has intruded and now.. now.. it’s no longer you in this cycle but others with you.

I don’t really know why i’m writing this, I write to express so whatever comes, comes.

Too look me in my eyes, was the worst. Only I looked people in the eyes, for another to look into me was something for along time I would not accept. I knew it’s power, the power of someone seeing your inner you. . the spirit that at time’s can be tormented. So, looking away was easier.. either way I was caught off guard, and caught in a trance.

To feel anothers heart was the hardest. The mystery of Love comes via one’s ability to discern for himself the arrangements of his being and understanding the balance of his soul. . “Be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10.

We find God in the stillness, we hear The Holy Spirit of Life.. reborn eachday in every man. His heart weakened me, it made me have to re-evaluate alot of myself.. my issues, my craziness, my faults, my own insecurities.. When you hold it together for yourself, your power is in the holding together what else do you know. . even if holding it together is actually an abomination to your soul and a complete illusion to reality.. you just go on.

I never wanted to be weak, never wanted to be in the mercy of someone else. After being on my own for so long, helping others when I needed that same word myself. Being responsible means, looking after your own inner home first, before helping others. I don’t know why he came, why he felt my heart and why he never stayed away.. although it was distant I felt him. Why didn’t he flee, why did he keep being felt in me, why did we share all those things, why did it rest so deeply inside of me, why did it never go away! Why did it keep coming back, even though I wanted it to but at times I just wanted to disappear, the best thing is to disappear though.. where no one notices but you. . but this just never happened with him.

I fought for something .. myself but I also felt someone else with me. Thats just it though, the thought of maybe another actually having seen you.. I mean YOU.. like this is crazy. . but this is what it’s meant to be. The mind, just the whole mind.. it felt like he got into my mind. His heart weakened me, and now it’s just learning to understand that he saw me. It’s strange because even not wanting to think of him, I guess I enter the world by staring into space.

His memory is like a pocket, if I go into it.. alot of feelings I will feel because he touched my heart. . but a healed heart a stronger heart is able to stand firm in it all. I could of created my own story from my heart and in this formed my own mystery. . the danger of this world is that the manipulated lures of our own lusts and passions, the outside getting in creates something we attach to ourselves.. and then new storylines take place.

He was the truest storyline, he was the one who made me have to see it. His heart with mine made me know that there is no hiding, my hands touch on my own heart that day .. had me shocked I always believed in the seemingly impossible only for it to one day come true.. to share a heart beat with another. God definately took that serious!

My inner silence is all there would ever be to remember about what I really felt, the words I found hard to articulate.. the feelings I held back in the mist of the trials.. She will always secretly smile just like she used to, she will always stare in the mist, she will always walk away randomly in her own little world.. Its just the way she is. She’s here, she’s just in a place in herself that she at times find’s hard to understand.. She’s strong and so she says but she recognizes she is delicate in that strength the easiest thing is to listen to others rather than herself. To uplift others, and help because that is what life is.

She will tell herself it will be okay, she will look in the mirror and make herself laugh. She will scream like a child, sing till her voice gets tired, dance until she’s panting like CRAZY, pray and never leave her Fathers side, she will experiment and cook wild in the kitchen, write poems and read EXCESSIVELY. She will listen to audiobooks, watch romance films, daydream and well.. the rest is her own secret chamber.

She’s always been my friend, my own true friend..  troubled and untroubled.. I’ve never hid from her.. I’ve just hid parts of her from the world.. do I feel bad about that.. NO.

One day He will know it’s his gift, and She will know He is her gift. One day people who free in their ways will recognize your free and appreciate it as it is.

This is the mystery, the 3.






The learning of her language is unorthodox, a premature end to society conformity.
Long ago when the winds of sobriety were the echoes of her soul she stood among a world of hallucinations.
Unable to prescribe her own self medication she plastered her sores in the name of dedication, she squeezed the pain of her bruises in the knowing of God.. yet still the distant future beckoned for the warfare of Life or death.
The Supreme in all, had come in the wings of the heavens and flew upon her tired and sacred essence in which she called out to the Almighty. She raised her voice to the highest heavens where the Messiah was listening to her melody so tender, so true.
How he sent the divine pouring of his mercies upon her, a friend in which the Father and the word manifest itself in her presence.
Teaching her the details of Life, the opening and closing of doors.. the weaknesses and strengths of ones own core.
Her questions continued, her stare searched her surroundings.. she was on the higher planes of consciousness scoping what she never thought her mind could. How the divine showed her many revelations and yet still she had no clue the ultimate Love she would have to embody the truth she would have to become. Her enemy envious of her sought every way to bring her high into captivity, and so latched onto her through frequent visits to her mind.. the use of other humans to discourage her from the path and steal her energy. She endlessly knocked on the doors of heaven fascinated by the divines beauty and her search for a world outside of this humanity! She was not of this world, she could not adjust to it.. neither was it easy to live as a human when deep down she knew .. somewhere in her.. she was distant, her land not being here but elsewhere.
Lovers couldn’t understand her, and she was yet to comprehend the parts of herself she had not grasped.
Oh’ Soul mate, the whole and the part .. the crys of the heart.. she wondered helplessly.. undergoing challenges..
until she bumped into a familiar face and the reverse psychology of the prince of the air forced her to relive an existence past and she drowned into the invisible man, as the whisperer mis-used her power to dominate her authority and re-instate her emotions at the forefront of her being. The illusion left her in a perplex condition meaning that all that would take place would somehow be a trance, if she awoke then The Almighty had a greater sovereign plan ahead with the divine part of itself given unto her. If she stayed asleep unable to war and arise from the unfortunate stupor she was bound to the underworlds and left to swim in the endless pools of torment and suffering. Oh how the underworld had prepared for the war, she had seen glimpses of this war coming but she was not prepared for the serpents manipulation to derange her pure intented heart in the name of love.
She discovered many arts, and knowledge, falsness and insights .. portals and hidden secrets in which led her into a darker pool awaiting the bite. One sunny and random day she bumped into a simular face, she recognised him and she felt his heart.. this spiralled her mind out of control once the bite had taken place.. she howled in the dark of night and smiled in the day. She was in his spell and she had to come out!!!

The Divine One, merciful and true saw her losing herself.. yet still she never let go of the divine truth. She steadfastly continued on holding onto The One in which she had promised never to allow anything or anyone to take away from her. Angels were in her mist as she warred day and night, months she weeped..she continued knocking. The Almighty knew she would escape this horrific plight if she studied herself and continued holding on. During the studies she recognized her suffering, her pains, the truth.. she fell in love and she had to journey back to her inmost self.

This was a touching story. . where the storms of life began earlier and silently continued to creep on her. Diligently keeping her vows to God she never let go of his word that . . .

brought life to her quiet and old soul, her joyful and free spirit & her simple heart.

This young She was extraordinary in her inner being and yet still she never saw just how beautiful she really was.
Somehow all she desired was the mysterious winds of truth and unconditional love to create a new earth, a new heaven for not only her but all she would come to meet.

She wanted God to rule humanity once again and freedom to be for all men, to return to the knowing of the supreme.. And oh how she longed for the true lover of her soul to melt his Spirit into her own and to infuse his love within her – When the thrones of the heavens would bless a sacred union promised from long ago to both wondering souls questioning the quest of life.

She, well…. She who was.. and is.. and is to come.. is in He and He carried her whilst she beheld the sacred rebirth of her truth in the divine.

The delight of The Sovereign Creator was soon to appear that whomever beheld He would be transformed as a blink of an eye.

Yes, She had only just begun and how the rain and treasures of the heavens would come pouring upon her and all the beloveds of the land.

She was the one they never noticed, the one they always looked past.. The One who held on to eternal Love.

The Enchanted Seers

The sun circled there beautiful brown skin, as they lay in the room, on the king size bed wide awake by the sounds of the chirping birds.

“Touch me” she said.

He turned to his right side and she turnt to her left.. they both stared at eachother. He pulled her in close.. her cute rounded breasts pointing through her silky vest. He leaned his forehead into hers, and closed his eyes.. they both were breathing heavy.

“I can’t” he said as he continued to breathe, much deeper.

She kissed his lips, and he melted his into hers slowly.. the heat of the sun reflecting in the window revealed two naked spirits intoxicated by eachothers souls. He let go of her lips, both of them panting heavily.

“Why” she asked.

“I might drown” he whispered staring into her eyes.. his brown pupils enlarged as his essence was a handsome aroma of truth.

“Why will you drown” she replied taking her hands and tracing her fingers around his ears, behind his neck…

“Because.. well.. uh” he looked away, only too look at her again. “You’ve been woven into me  and I’m warped into you.. to touch us, to touch you….i’ll never.. I won’t..I don’t know..”

He bent in to kiss her, his lips hanging onto hers as he breathed heavy.. she felt his phallus, strong and firm but her Spirit had no care for it only for him.. the him she saw, the part she held on to, he was a sacred gift in her eyes. Her hands stroking his neck, as his body hovered onto her sideways.

“If I drown.. would I be able to swim?” he asked her stroking his nose against hers, both there breaths becoming one motion while there hands locked together.

“Do you want to swim?” this was her response.. staring into his being and he staring into hers. . both of them still – only quiet breaths being past between them. His eyes were so sweet as they glistened into her own wide eyed glance, little did she know she was already drowning but somehow ..she found oxygen in the drown.

“I want to drown with you” He said honestly.
“I want to breathe with you under the ocean, in the nothingness, in the dark and light.. I want to fly with you – even if we can’t find our wings we can create them ourselves.. or maybe we could flap our arms” he smiled digging his head into her neck.

She giggled, wrapping her arms around his upper body.

“I want to drown with you too, I want to sail with you and observe the starry skies in you & I” .. he kissed her neck.. she panted
“I want to soar in the wind and be your calm, I want to soothe you.. I want to see you relaxed and happy.. I want you to drown so you fully feel your gift as much as I feel mine with you”

He looked up at her, his hands slowly reaching into her top and fondling her breasts.. she smiled, so did he. He kissed her again, saying. .

“You touch me in places unseen, that no one can see but only what I feel buried deep in me.. my touch with you is the same but I feel our fire.. our waterfall, our tsunami..and words cannot even express how it makes me feel”

He let go of her breasts and pulled her on top of him.. her legs rested between his waist.. she bent in to kiss his neck, his cheeks.. his lips and he held her tightly. They breathed in sync, all they felt were beyond their physical that nothing could be further from the truth than the longing of who they saw in eachother. His eyes closing, and so was hers as there forheads touched.. he let out a strong moan and she sighed into his breath, there spirits began to dance in ways they had never experienced as they were still.. the atomsphere became them. There whole being consumed the entire room, as his hands weakened from around her and her legs softened from his waist.. there souls lingered above there bodies and they drowned into the invisible.

There was no sound but feelings and pouring of every emotion possible an intimate deep orgasm of chemistry from out of the flesh and out of this world.. a place that brought elements of themselves into a new territory that they found in there secret chambers. He swam into her and she him.. the swirls of the unseen the lightening flashes of their inner worlds embarking a mystery they didn’t desire to let go of.

In an instant, a huge wind and light dissolved them back into there bodies and they both stared into eachother.
He gently removed her from his waist taking off his pyjamas and underwear, and he slowly removed her vest and shorts.
They kneeled on the bed, facing eachother..bare and open.. he held her face in his hand while she had her hand on his heart..

He leaned in again.. and taking her lips into his own, he followed his hands on the outline of her body.. he kissed her breasts, her thighs, her arms and her neck.. and then her forehead..

Looking into her eyes he said,

“You are my life, my love … and words will never express how I deeply feel for you – only my Spirit and you know him.. you understand him.. I love you”

She looked up at him tenderly, and hugged him.. there chocolate bodies glued together.

The sun reflecting on there naked bodies the world moved on by, there love held on to wondering rhymes of there inner beings.

The enchanted seers.

Wild Imaginations

To daydream, to desire you..
has been misleading for somewhere
it is all not true. . it’s the elements of love
seeking one to hold and be held.
To allow the lucid mind to develop a
feeling that in darkness arouses the
bodies innocent dance . . .
this is manipulation, this a foolish dream.
Why must passion consume a soul?
Why must longing delude the mind?
We play with the particles that trigger
our longing – we foolishly submit to the
lusts of the mind & weakness of the body.
We allow the soul to be possessed by the fuel
of the mind unseen, the game of thrones. . and secret shadows.
I’m tired of these wild imaginations…
these triggers that send lightening vaults
through my body. My love is not one to
keep me in imaginations, to keep me in
deadly sensational feels where
to believe in other dimensions my secret love desire is rocking my body.
To long for a man to love me & me him has been my hearts woo.
O Holy & Sacred vow of spiritual love,
O Home of the secrets unheard of that reveals  our wild imaginations.. the soul..some thoughts
projected and manipulated into our brains..
and others we feel willfully dancing with the devil,
creating scenes in which forfeit our souls
to the naked growls of demons, who long
to suck our energies.
Holy One, save my soul from it’s delusions,
rescue my one life I have from its own pit
of passion.
Love is stronger than death.. Passion a
dangerous flute, melodic but consuming every
possible cell of a being in its fiery disease
To Love is the ark of all possible worlds..
all longings and passions and desires,
understood and become the silent echoe
of our being.. washed ashore to a new place. Again & Again.. returning
to that new world, releasing the dove to find us a new land, where we are but the whispers of the wind, and the deluded serpent is crushed
with the art of Gods ever gracious words of divinity gliding our soul and commanding the vicious wild imaginations to be banished into the abyss and locked away, awaiting its ultimate destruction as the divine returns to each of us, reviving our immortality in it’s most holy graces.

My Own Trigger

I think I’ve reached crazy..
crazy in silence.. in the sane with feelings that are trying to hallucinate the brain.
I’ve touched dimensions and swam oceanic planes. I’ve absorbed a soul in which it’s male and female longing is consuming me.
Love is injecting it’s antidote in me and now i’m gasping for some air, this scenery is not my world and these heart calls are suffocating my eye in which enters the mind within and out and I’m swallowing these hidden truths.

I want to pull out my hair and scream!!!

This isn’t obsession. Anger or Aggression.

This silence will tear down walls and break you from inside.

I’ve had enough, enough!!!!!!!!!!

I will pull my own Trigger, I mean it..

I will.. and when I do, you will be pulled into it with me.