The One (Part II)

Despite the longing for love, she can’t really fall for it can she?

She will show you she cares, only to hide away. She will show you who she is, only to escape.

She’s not really escaping is she.

She’s tried, but Love although free, has somehow..

restricted her. She wasn’t born to growl, neither to bark, or to roar without a valid reason.

The knowledge of love burned her soul, ripped her into pieces – year after year.. her young soul growing and questioning the evolution of this ecstatic dance.

The worst happened, she still danced. Lonliness and she still danced.. wars took place and she danced – Oh how Love appeared not to be fair. Why wasn’t she allowed to fall, she had to stand through it all, even as her own enemy. When it seemed like she fell it wasn’t a fall, it was a trip that she understood.

Trips leave bruises. She may have tried to cover them but in trying to cover them she found pleasure in feeling their pain. Dabbing at the wound, laughing at how it hurt. .She found it amusing, even after the tears. So was she mad, no matter how sweet she may have been – even when she lied to her ownself.

O’ Sweet one, where are you running to?

O’ Fiery light of the existing one’s where are you going?

It is here you found yourself to be, where else can you flee to?

She didn’t need to be good enough, although she questioned how good she was. How good could she be, trying to balance her scales. Can she blame it on being a Libra.. the old wives tale. Seeking to balance her whole being each cell begging to be liberated and challenged to reach its ultimate balance and calm. There were times she wanted to bark – times she wanted to growl – times alone when she would whimper and other times there were no noise but SILENCE.

Does Love really capture us or the moment?

Way past the horizon where soul meets soul..

Does love really reside between the between.

I guess its a reflection of Spirit.

She could be helpless in this source, completely light as a flower, or a vicious weapon, lethal and untamed on the leash devouring all in her way?

Would she ever understand this source in her.

Oh how I’d love to be loved” and so she imagines.

*laughs*

A courageous thought, that is. . . for to her it is not simple, her roar larger than herself. She is meant to love, to bow, to free her being and let loose all she is to whom? Maybe she just falls for the wrong one. The one who sees the weapon and manipulates it, is that what she deserves after all, didn’t she take the lead before he was supposed too. She is at fault, she deserves to be mad for love.. gagging desperately .. ferocious in the hallucinations – completely gone with the wind or maybe not quite so?

She’s built for silence, she’s built for simplicity. Shes built for smiles here and there. She rather hide her face than truly be seen, but if ever seen she must be gracious. She prefers the unseen though for in that world she see’s – Light that is, in that light darkness must be exposed.

The ladder of divine ascent.. she continues the mystery.

I guess the wrong one drives you mad, makes you see the insanity of their ownselves in you. . or you in them. We somehow want to figure it out, we all want to figure it out.. but she.. she.. believes its existence is somewhat a tool, a mere strategy, to glide in the omniscient existing source. . and yes she recognizes it can backfire onto her – This tool, this strategy we name Love can succumb her, to where ever her heart is set in that moment.

The heart is decietful above all things, yes – this she knows.

She has always been aware of it, but the heart has been too large to control, it somehow controlled her, until Spirit intervened yet still, the heart continued to overpower her soul – Oh how madness had to teach her, the game. . . the game she hated to play but stupidly found herself being cradled by it.

Never fully giving in but desiring to only walk away and disappear.

Unsatisfied by other ones uncertain natures. She would ponder, listen to them, at times fearful of their force. One must tap into the growl, it was impossible for her to growl on her own – she would ponder the growl, sit with the bark in her mind – but it just would’nt come out.

She somehow had to let the bark go, in order to return. The cycle consists of past, present and future. Is that why she is number 12 – simplify it, she is 3.

Maybe the wrong one had to come and intervene to show her, survival of Love doesn’t always come treading carefully. Sometimes you tread carefully and lose your sanity trying to understand things beyond your control, and in this .. yes, you become a victim to your misconceptions of realism. We then invent our own paths which then stem away from a reality we all participate in, one we all must find ourselves in – What are we though lights or darkness? We then, attack ourselves in everyway possible and we dig and dig, and dig and dig… yes and dig .. digging endlessly to therefore be controlled, therefore be used, and therefore become a slave. A slave to our misery because of our lack of knowledge, of ourselves, our being, our nature and in this does Love remain or have we fallen for definate this time?

Her nature was known to her but in the part that was yet still to learn, this was where the burn would take place.

Why must she learn?

Her essence knows the reality of this already.

It must do it again.

A hidden secret carried only waiting to be empowered by something greater than herself.

How can she ever percieve Love if she doesn’t trip, then fall and then rise to see all but rest hidden.

O’ how she’d love to be loved, but maybe that so ..would never be enough – would it?

It’s a relived beginning, a complete movie of human affairs, illustrated by sick participants, in need of a cure. Fairytales with beautiful endings but still a wonderful view from afar. Up close it’s some-what convincing to an extent but even so – it must be misunderstood so one can fully understand.

So what must she do, give all of her, if she longs for what is far out of reach in this planet, she must give all of her.. ALL OF HER. Come on, we all know. This is not something new, but if we are to form realities unseen, this is a remarkble taste, she must obey.

She understands this.

She understands this very well.

She cannot rule, unless she gives all of her.

If she desires to not be controlled she must give all, she must obey to the head of the order, so he may allow her to drive the course of action by her focus and intuition. Yes, she ought to be protected, she ought to be looked out for, why?

Can someone with such poise and grace be left alone in this omniscient ladder?

Never.

Its not a mess at all, its a detailed eloquent act of GOD. . revealed in his timing. Can she Love?

She’s always loved. A love that is unexplainable, yet she tries to interpret it. Can it be interpreted?

*She laughs*

Can one see the Unseen God? Is her response.

*She laughs* again..

To be wrong means your right but to stay and play in the wrong means your already dead in the fight. To be right means you have plenty of chances to get it wrong but to stay consistent in knowing what is right means your able to govern the fight.

To be continued..

To be continued. . .

Dear Jesus XxXxX

I bet your looking at me now like what do you want now.

*smiles*

I never write my prayers out in public but thought to type this out. Right now, I wish I was up in the heavens singing with the angels and those pretty flowers I saw singing to you ever so beautifully, on the greenery by the pathway going towards the amazing waterfall in the centre of the city. Your throne is woah.. like woah.. this earth and it’s luxuries CANNOT BE COMPARED TO YOUR THRONE AND THE HEAVENS, AND ITS BEAUTY.  The city itself is unfathomable but your throne, is just… muuaaaad. This is something any man will know when they get the chance to see it, not only in prayer but in you inviting them to see you on the throne. I hope more people experience it, when they do hmm.. boy oh boy.. will they realize that The Fathers throne ain’t no joke! Jesus your on the right side of The Father so you kicking it back, chilling.. watching us all.. intervening with your mercy, love and forgiveness. The Holy Spirit, ahhh couldn’t be more greatful.. so so so greatful for such an amazing gift bestowed upon me. Thankyou Jesus, honestly.

Those flowers sounded so beautiful, better than any voice ever heard on planet earth, I remember I use to ask you to give me one of their voices lol every prayer haha but hey who knows maybe everytime we praise abit of pollen from those flowers in heaven gets put in our spirit to enhance our praises..

It feels different, our relationship. It seems like it’s grown, its been a struggle but a blessing. I’m blessed. I don’t say that much but deep down knowing you and what we have shared I know it. You seen me through so much. No one will ever know what you mean to me.. and to others you have also helped in this world too.. mad love to them! I’m still the little me that gets up and sits on my bed talking to the open space/air and literally catching jokes with you over things people would probably find weird, you still listen though.

No words will ever express so much of your love that you have shown to me. I may not be out there, and associate with the world much or even you know, be apart of the boxes of this society.. which makes me abit weird .. but i’m cool with that..

When I tried to be in the box you kept telling me off!!! Like man the punishments I got was bare weird like, it was as if you was here proper, like a dad would discipline his child in real life physical form. Your here though, I know. I feel you. I feel so honoured to know you and to experience your truth in my life. The battles we fought and the wars in the spiritual realms have been real.. Some went by silently.. it’s crazy, you somehow made me silent in them.. when they were so huge. I’d still be talking about you, telling others of you whilst battling in darkness. Was it to make me stronger? Or to be able to know that it’s better to trust you than to put trust in man? I firmed alot, barely had friends and was always home alone haha so had no choice but to kind of deal with life and the call the way you planned for me.. even when I tried to run and not be home you always called me back. I understand your providence in my life has been real, very real. You’ve actually taught me everything Christ. No church, no religious leader, or even my Ma taught me and trust you know she is faithful boyyy, it was you..the Holy Spirit literally guided me in everything I have come to know.

Everything I didn’t understand you would show me, all I did was ask. Visions, dreams, people along the way that came and just words they would say.. Journaling my whole experiences with you.. reading books and discussing them with you in my bedroom as always. I remember John many years ago when I was 17, Ma’s friend .. I remember he told me, the Holy Spirit was his best friend, that he would laugh with it..and sit down in his living room discussing everything and just be smiling. In my head I was thinking thats me though, I do that. He told me all this wide eyed with a face of love.. now I understand. I fully understand what he meant. From young I would talk to you sitting on my bed but you finally came to me and showed yourself to me in my bedroom when I least expected it. Thats when the talks elevated, thats when you became more real, even though I believed.. I wasn’t just sitting there thinking I’m just talking and hopefully you hear. So you do listen..the dove was real and BEAUTIFUL, all 5 of them. How many years of me just talking to the air and BAMMM you appear when i’m 19, your always there..you are always there despite how we feel, ain’t got nothing to do with the world like that. Its Love man, real love.. priceless.

You have held me up, through things I didn’t expect to experience earlier in life in the spiritual realms and later on till this day too. Theres purpose for everything, a reason for everything. My faith in you will never go. I just hope in you and pray with every part of me you never leave me. Your my best friend. I think now as I sit and ponder about this all i’m forced to be stronger and bolder than ever. You have been my solid holder, literally.. where would I have been.

Every experience, my diaries, my love poems, every deep emotion connected to the depth of spirit I have felt because you was there allowing me to experience all the things I journeyed through. I guess sometimes, I wondered why? Questioning my reactions, my actions, my thoughts, my being. How could such faith be tested ongoingly, but life is a battle of the flesh and the mind with the heart and our spirit. . . to those who seek realness in the pain and struggles of life within themselves and outside of themselves.. you walked it, so you know.. divine as you are.

Did you ever think why did the Father not take the pain away Jesus? When you had to carry that cross, even though you knew you had to die for the truth and for mankind to know that truth in themselves through your walk.. even though you knew it was what you were called to do.. You probably didn’t think at all right, you just said your will be done Lord, and then went along with the plan.

Its a serious life we live, the narrow way is very serious. You said it was a hard road but in the end leads to life, and that is life to the full a blessing you give your children who seek you in Spirit and in Truth. You were right. This I knew in my heart growing up that this world was no ordinary world and other worlds existed. Innocence is sweet, life a gift.

Theres things about this life that some people haven’t come to realize, some people are aware of it and others are not. I have  been in my little bubble with you for so long, in and out of this knowing. I was acting like Jonah once the bubble got burst it was like my whole world was over. I couldn’t be a baby anymore.

*smiles* Your proper my day 1 .. like literally.

Your the only one who kept your word to me in this whole life.

Psalm 27 said it well. So I had to grasp it for myself.. sometimes parents forsake their children.. and children forsake their parents. We are always to put our faith in you before everything. So at 12 when I made a decision to get baptized, after all the weird dreams you kept showing me ..I said it would always be you. I made a vow you would be my best friend. You seriously have been, it’s funny but true in my mistakes I’d secretly come back and cry it out, some things I never understood but man in my softness you did make me strong even when it appeared I was a pushover or just plain weak! Acting tough was me trying to be strong but it didn’t work lol. Life has been changing for everyone, for centuries.. everything you said about sin, righteousness and judgement of this world was true. We cannot deny it, the believers know. There own lives are a living witness to it.

We seen it before, we’ve seen too much before it’s time.

We have lived.

Your my roar.. fully exposed.

Its alot for me, for us all of faith. . but you said you’ll never leave us nor forsake us so I’ll trust you through it all. The journey of Long Life Souls in Narnia.

I love you Jesus.

So to the next part and stage of my life through this seemingly time travelling society, please take my hand and lead me, guide me on the narrow path continuosly, and I all I ask is just please don’t leave me man lol even though you won’t I just need to say that! You already know, you already know it goes. Let my heart to be courageous and kind, honest and loving. My spirit to always remain loyal to you and then to those close to me.

I hope my life will be a blessing to those around me, and that I’ll forever walk with you..knowing deep down You are my shepherd and I shalt not want for you will always make a way as long as I believe. Psalm 23 all day everydayyyyy, Ma did well making us recite that psalm from early.. word for word you know xxx

Let wisdom, knowledge, understanding, insight, foresight and your infinite Love abide in me all the days of my life as well as your goodness and mercy.

To All who have faith, let them continue being the warriors they are, bless their individual walk with you and let us all shine your light to a world that needs to know .. that our saviour lives and yes.. we all will see you face to face once again.

My Love for life, my first Love.. Thankyou Jesus..

In the name of The Father, the Christ and in The Holy Spirit

ONE xxxxxxxx

 

 

 

Once Again.

Lost Souls who came to find existence from the first pant of life. . some of us already knew the journey was to be something huge to embrace. Our eyes awakened to the air, the breeze of our surroundings.. tears rolling down our eyes crying ..vulnerable from the calm where we were protected in the warmth of the womb.

I often times wander what God was thinking creating us, his purpose in this all. Love seems to keep us standing, we cannot even define it.. somehow we truly believe in it’s essence.

We can feel from within.

To touch, to smell, to taste, to hear, to see..

It all has meaning, just to experience the nothingness in everything, the everything from what we seem to understand as nothing but truly is all in all.. of these series of events we ponder. We are exposed.

We’ve all been before. It doesn’t surprise me.

It makes me a believer, more for truth, for the goodness of God to live among men, for humanity to be better and grow to understand the depth of Love. Immeasurable.

Fresh air.

Life, once again.

 

 

Two Become One.

I’m going to make a cappucino, would you like one too?

What is done for me is done for you..

What is this whole two become one life?

We are sepearte identites but One in Spirit, mind, heart, and

I guess our souls intertwine too right. . .For better and for worse.

Selfishness is just not what works with us.

Honesty is everything, Loyalty well thats the package with Love isn’t it. . . should you even have to question my loyalty?

Trust – that can get broken but with forgiveness there are steps that can be implemented so we can regain that back in eachother. . it may not be easy but it can be done.

Patience – without the ability to wait through lifes difficult moments together in hope and faith.. how can we ever know the quality of our hearts as one?

Joy – we share the joys of life, the smiles, jokes, and the deep knowing that I am yours and you are mine. Our Joy that God is our foundation in all and through all – he is our truth and there ain’t nothing but his unconditional-infinite love within us.

We ought to be fair with one another, and to endure the storms, rains and winds of life together, no matter the cost.. The gift in grace.

Envy can’t be a part of our home.

Jealousy will only destroy what we build.

We ought to respect eachother, never disregarding eachother as non-worthy of having any input in decision making or any relevance to eachothers lives in any way.

We don’t have to boast, humility is our clothes – if you want to joke with me then i’m willing to listen to your boastful comments – I’m more than ready to tickle you.

Its not about me

Its not about you

Its about We.

I must do unto you as I’d like done unto me.

I must take care of you as I would take care of me.

I must not think of me but I must think for us as one.

Are you not free?

Are you not able to live your life.

Yes, you may. Though I’d like you to be with me all the time –

I understand that sometimes you would want to hang out with your buddies. Can you tell me the truth of where you are in fact?

Can you be 100% naked?

Even if it was the worst situation could you

trust me enough to tell me everything.

Do I not support you and you me.

We must admit to our faults and failures yes, but can we not build eachother to stand back up again even when we fall.

Speaking life, living a humble and meek life.

We are eachothers peace.

I am for you.

Are you for me?

I am for us.

Are you for us?

Lets put it on the table, lets work this out,

I have mercy on you and you me.

Let me not run from our issues, why discuss it with others – can we not solve it together?

Are you not my lover, my comrade for life, my teacher too.

I may be a little nonchalant in certain ways but i’ll always be willing to listen to you.. I am you and you me.. we are one.. I can’t ignore your part of me. It will only hurt us.

Can we pray about situations?

Even read the word together?

Can we sit down in silence together .. not saying anything without you feeling distant.

Can you hold me sometimes and just stroke me, no words..

Just show me your affection. . .Let me know you want me as I want you.

Be with me, ride with me, don’t be scared.. We ain’t perfect but we will get there.

I want to hold you in ways you have never known – to let you know I’m you.. I want me to know this.

Can you really take us. You know us. Don’t run from us.

Melt in it with me and I melt with you.

So what if they mis-understand us.

We understand us. Inside.

That’s all that matters.

You’ll carry my babies, I’ll feed with the bottle when your asleep sometimes.

I want to create with you.

You want to create with me.

ONE.

A Love which is more than a fantasy – it is Alchemy.

Mentally.

Physically.

Spiritually.

Emotionally.

Our divine sacred marriage of our beings before the Unseen Creator of Life, The Eternal One.

We become One Body, One Mind, One Soul, One Existence.

The Univeral flow from the Divine one being unlocked between us both – Our DNA being made anew through this

COSMIC LOVE.

ME.

YOU.

WE.

The Two become..

ONE.

9 x 3 ‘There is a Good in a Bye’

I Let it out – to completely let it go.

I never really got over him.

Somehow I said to myself I would, that he would just disappear as he did before. . he just vanished.

The last words of “I can see you” as I looked around at the bus stop confused. . . where was he?

Going past in a car probably. I was young, still in a bubble, transparent but somehow losing it.

The baby in me startled by his Spirit which I already knew.

Before he changed and became who he was.

I’ve learnt to face it all. My own emotions and feelings, my thoughts – some which weren’t my own. When I met him years ago I felt something, it wasn’t an attraction ..maybe he felt an attraction but I felt something about him which was deep. I don’t know maybe we were secret siblings, or good friends in a past life? Who knows.

This part of me that felt something deep towards him made me fear him, made me not feel good enough to be close to him… although I wanted to know what this thing was. Secretly when I spoke to him I felt like a child but I didn’t really care, I just knew it was okay to be me. Theres alot of things I didn’t forget watching the years unfold until he vanished only to reappear.

I didn’t know what that “thing” was, but when I randomly was on a stroll down the road.. my heart tugged and I heard a silent whisper that made me turn my head. I remember seeing him staring out the window, he was in a daze. The joy of my heart to see a long lost brother who somehow meant something to me.

His smile made me happy, and his presence was calm. .  me, well I was me.. jolly and childish. Everything I had experienced in the past was thrown out the window at that moment, for all I cared about was his soul and if he was okay. Looking into him I saw partially he had dealt with things, things that he may not have been vocal about, but I hallucinated and it seemed like it was all a blur. . but I was there looking out, looking in. The eye connection was real, time and space did stop and for me to still remember it, I KNOW IT WAS REAL.

From that day life went on as normal but I never forgot him.

You see things happen in life that we may tend to look past and not see it as anything, somethings we ponder on but if we do nothing there is no result. I tried here and there but you know, I was never vocal about how I felt because I thought he would’nt care.. which obviously was true. During the time apart my heart longed for him in ways it had not longed for anybody before. Yes I forced myself not too long for this, not to allow it too consume me but it did and as it did it tricked my mind. I became a fool, how could someone you care about for no reason disappear and then reappear to look into me and disappear again? It affected my life heavily. It felt like we exchanged energies, or he entered my mind but somehow, something strange happened and it took me from me.

I thought I was in love with him, but the resentment building up in me due to not understanding why that happened began to eat at me, why did he appear in my dreams and why did he not speak to me ..if he knew something I didn’t. I loved him for him and never understood the reasons why. It may have been a test on me, maybe to remind me of what I was missing out on.. (but if he truly knew why I didn’t come to see him many years ago) he would know I wasnt missing out on anything. Simple as.

Seeing as i’m a mysterious person when it comes to spirituality and faith, I was thinking it was all meant to happen. . somehow stupidly thinking he would come back to me. *rolls eyes* I created a pathetic love story in my head and I guess the energy put out towards it obviously invoked crazy things to happen to me. I had so much faith in this eye connection, it’s ludicrous.

Now fully exposed of myself and my feelings. . . I see I was deeply in love, I did think it was infatuation at first but it continued so I genuinely loved him, what made it worse was having been younger I felt something towards him.. so it kind of made sense why I was drawn to him the way I was.

I thought I learnt having said goodbye so many times in my Spirit to him but somehow I couldnt breakfree from it, somehow it held me tightly whatever this was. This eye connection controlled me, in ways impossible to explain.

Right now, I’ve chosen to move forward. I felt the need to express this, God knows why. Weirdly enough I will always love him in a way but its not the same, I somehow see him as a secret soul brother, one in whom I drove myself crazy for.

In a few years from now I’ll look back at this and laugh.. at how far it took me to craziness, and how far I went to look a fool. If he knew what happened, it probably was fun and games to him, but atleast I tasted the madness of my own love.. to truly see it for what it could be.

True Love is hard to find, I’ve now found it.

Its now living in me, and it’s being shown to me.

I think it’s found me. . . I just have to be patient to believe this is the real one.

I guess there is a good in good bye, afterall.

When something leaves, something new appears.

The mysteries of Love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Way Of The Cross.

Pick up your cross and follow me,

I heard the voice whisper in my heart..

7 years ago.

The cross was more painful than I thought.

It seemed simple, easy and not difficult in the beginning.

The gift was free, so I couldn’t complain.. I took it after years of confusion and pain.

Little did I know the cross would reveal my deepest self, the demons up against me and the enemies plotting for my downfall. The tree of good and evil I guess.

I shed tears most of my life, I made some stupid choices only because I thought they would like me or be my friend and honestly out of fear.

I was never a bad girl, I was a simple quiet young lady with a fun side not many got to see. I entered the world wide eyed knowing that I would see some things I wouldn’t want to..experience lies and deciet, abuse and misery.. suicidal attempts and demons telling me they were going to kill me and other things that I wouldn’t want to say.

The cross seemed to me like an easy way out but it got worse, I learnt about the power of truth of Love, forgiveness, and grace. I always forgave but beat myself up for it, I didn’t realize grace was there to help me move forward.. it just hurt so much. Love was something I always wanted.. I dreamed of from a young age.. why? Only The Most High knows.. but somehow the enemy wanted to take my heart away from Love. Truth.. well when I hid my sexual abuse for years I believed I was the problem and so lied my way through situations to hide my biggest inner lie that tormented me.. day after day. One thing I realized was even the members of your household could be your enemy, Jesus taught me that.. I experienced that.

The truth is I suffered quietly and even though spiritually born again and free to know the truth .. my real truth was hidden and used against me. I fell into traps and blamed me .. but I didn’t realize it was a result of the past not being cleared, wounds not being healed and the devil didn’t want me to know the truth.

Before I was born my father tried to kill me in my mothers womb. When I was 3 the abuse began. Its pretty crazy what we go through and what we deal with. I don’t want to remember anything of the past anymore, I want my peace to remain – even though life is a rollercoaster I’d rather forget the whole past and go forward to a new complete chapter.

The cross told me to kill that seed of the tree of good and evil and now eat off the Tree of Life. No man is perfect, and I guess holding onto Christ was definately my strength and being under mind control at a certain point made me realize the enemy will find any chance to get to a person. Through there errors, and weaknesses and unhealed wounds.

I understand all I truly have is Love and thats all we have if we look deep down within us.

There ain’t nothing else I have to give.

Love is the answer to a broken soul.

Love is the answer to a broken world

Love is the answer to all in all.

I never wanted to be pitied, I just sought to understand and be understood.

Love has walked us through our trials.

It never left us.

It took our hand.

And in this.. we have power to rise up and stand.
He who believes has true life – This is

The Way Of The Cross.

Now is Now

We are different. .

Unique in our own ways . .

Yet still resembling the ONE-ness of all that is. . Creation.

We share one reality, the knowing and learning of being. . Being here, at this moment . . Where we are now.

To detach our essence from every label, and to rest in its flow.. our soul.

No longer chasing vanity, materials nor people but understandilng all that we are and ever to be is found in the moment we are we.

Now is Now.

The essence can vibrate at a distance, it can vibrate really close and it can remain still in its core abilites to commune with itself and its Creator.

Now is Now.

You may think you know but it will get broken down to be learned in a new way.. a new understanding. You may think you are right or wrong but Spirit recognizes all and has its say and then moves on.

A Journey to forever.

Now is Now ♡

Pondering the heart

I want to give you every part of me.

But i suggest i should not make promises that i can’t keep..

Are you willing to understand my heart and the problems that i face?

Really.. Are You?

You explained that reality is in the present so why you act so distant. If you truly knew what love could do.. you would sacrifice your existence. . To sacrifice is to give up all that with-holds you from you, from learning to grasp the seconds and minutes gone past.. for it is the thoughts of life .. that remains in our trance.. it is no fantasy but it is as a dream.

I will not outweigh my emotions against my thoughts, but i realise how i feel for you is not words .. it is expression.. it is ..as it is .. within a space ..which we call time..which has no limit but is Life..

I cannot interpret me but i’m trying to interpret you? I see you everyday, when i get up.. when i walk in the street corners, with family and friends ..in society.. i see you.. i hear you. I have recognized you, who will recognize you with me?

All I ever want is the Truth, thats all.. but once I see you I get scared of the power and force that pulls me more deeply into my home. But now i see perfect love drives out fear.

It all started off as a search.. seeking for a treasure… little did i know everything i was looking for.. was right infront of me. Thinking i’m crazy because i’m determined too feel your touch.. and look in your eyes.. to let go as you hold me in my surrender.

But i tell myself there is none who can look me in the eyes and yet remain true but i look through there eyes and see the passion and desire to be true. . .For this effort ..one shall be blessed.

I want to give you every part of me..

Show me you ♡

Closed to Begin

It killed me

It left a print in me..

It opened another world through me. . .

I guess you want to see my garden and play with me.. but I’m to busy protecting my plants and holding on to see. . .

Where this hidden rose

will settle to be mastered in its power.

The great release of its petals to be captured in the hands of one who cares to water it.. so it can..rebuild life once again.

The heart has been cut, and within lays an ice.. in that ice glistens a Diamond. . .

I with-hold myself, I am safe.. in my care..

On my watch. . .

The ice gets heated and seeks to melt but vulnerabilty will only leave me splattered. .

And gasping for air. The sensation is indeed pleasurable but i have come to the crossroads of intimacy of reality or darkness of the soul. . .

I war in this matter for the crave is strong ..

it can only build me, to receive.. to give.. to let go.. this pleasure..

But in that crave is a dungeon, a dark slimy dungeon – where wolves howl and bats querk and owls blink their eyes throughout the night. A hidden pit, where the dew of the cold atomsphere lurks with a lifeless sight.. where the beast resides ready to devour the very essence of my being..all for this …

Pleasure.

I was built to help administer the mind of the equal but my rose cannot be un-buttoned if its power hasnt reached its height. It is all clear before us, before you and before me.

Either you co-operate or you turn against me. For I know of a way that can create more for us than you would ever imagine. I hold the keys that will make you stay, be fruitful and multiply. . . you are ready.

Persistance over Will.

Master minds are formed untouched – my garden is a sanctuary, the gardner exemplary.

The mind of a master is beyond the mystical sense’s, …to endeavour in the land of archiac juices is to yield a significant elixir.

Yours Only,

Elle.

I Wonder

10447614_10152650000293384_8291329426275147615_nShould I wait.. or should I fall..
Will you hold me.. do you know..
What Love really is..
And will you stay by me forever…

I wonder if you know
What Love is inside the soul …
Will you stay by me.. when I’m low..
Will you reach for my arms ..
I ..wont let go

Will you wait for me..
Cause I know what it really is ..when you believe
I’ve been waiting for a while..all these years
I wonder..i wonder if you know..
Love..
I wonder if you know…

Love.