Mystery

What am I meant to feel?

How am I meant to continue.

Did I wake up from a dream. . .was this a game on me?

What am I meant to feel, or am I not meant to feel?

Should I just stare, stay quiet and look away as always..

What now…

Somehow it was all triggered, somehow it was all a blur.. I was alive, I saw everything.

This was no fantasy, it was real. I didn’t imagine it. My Spirit..

Yes, my Spirit felt it all and my soul – it was moved..swayed in slow motion yet still capturing the fast movements of my mind.. I was there, like i’ve always been.

My heart’s energy was bleeding and my mind out of control.

Did I drive me there?

All I know is that the love of my life, Christ held me.

Though my heart bled excessively, though I hallucinated and functioned in the blur . . .yet still I saw, experienced and felt. . physically and spiritually.

Holy Spirit never left me, he kept me.. Holy Spirit please don’t ever leave me. . . please xxx

The Heart of a Man

We witness. We see ourselves and the world. The world either being in us or us in the world. Is it a strange fact that,

“The heart is decietful, above all things” Jeremiah 17:9

I wonder why we base alot of our life perceptions from this place, from this weary and tired rock where emotions pass through and the electricity of our minds dim the enlightenment of the heart. As humans we long for freedom, and freedom is what we have.. the cages we are in are the perception of the reality given to us but not the reality within reality – which truly goes un-noticed. The small things.

Can a man truly ascend past the limitations of his own wants, desires and fulfilments – can he give up everything he knows and has just to go on a quest for truth?

The hidden abilities of the potential of one’s own soul is a ultimatum – a destiny of his own pact with the greatest force of Life.

Didn’t John say “Greater is he that is in you than he who is in the world” 1 John 4:4

Have we not established that the very heart of a man is an abomination to the true abstract view of society and life?

“Do not judge and you will not be Judged, do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; forgive and you will be forgiven” Luke 6:37

Where can a man go to clear the hidden dirt of the heart, the trickery of its secrets. . .what would it profit him to gain the world and lose his soul at the price of the eyes of his heart being blind.

Are you the choice or is the choice you.

Are you the judge or are you already judged.

Can you truly see, or is your sight an instruction of systematic laws and common known behaviours of a rebel living a lawless life.

We are carved on the cross with Christ, being either one of the thieves on the right hand or left hand of Christ.

One although nearly dying professed his faith to desire more life.. he could see beyond pain, death and the limits of his own body, he saw himself and he saw his unworthiness and realized the power of life to empower him again. Therefore he asked Christ to remember him, and he was promised eternal life in paradise.

Yet the other drowned in his own loathsomeness of his actions, he condemned life and told its power within Christ to save itself. He did not percieve life and could not understand it, because of this his mockery of it showed he was already judged.

Which one are you?

 

As.. was, and still is we are all aware

Over Again…

I should be truthful.

This place, this infinite movement of life – this existence in the spiritual essence of our natural beings is a blessing, a beauty far beyond rubies.

Somehow it’s like dancing in the air, gliding through the heavy petals of rain pounding on the sacred earth.

Somewhere in between this it hovers, it stares blamelessly – it laugh’s hysterically it talks to understand, to see you. . .it’s eyes wide open to SEE you. It’s embrace a different home than ever experienced, it’s hold a true comfort but a distant rememberance.

No’one would ever really satisfy this place, it’s hidden – a diamond in disguise, a rough but sharpened sword on the rock and gold refined in the fire.

Knowing this truth, shows me even the calms and pressures of Love is itself it’s own yearning for it’s own, own.

Yet so I wonder, only the presence and home of an ever-seeing and ever-present – eternal being-creator of all can really keep this secret place at an ease.

She ran because she knew it’s true power wasn’t of this world – she would hide and yet still fight. She then came out – and resulted to hiding once again.

All that came with the price of this . . .this precious gift that she shared within with God.. need she say anymore?

The gateways of a world that’s only destruction is to lie, steal, kill and destroy to pollute the beauty of the treasures created from inside.

I want to pull back, I want to avoid what some may not understand. I want to.. silently, with no words. I want to smile and then evaporate into the realities of light.

We all cried Love once.

We all thought somehow we would find it in another.

We all once, loved. . either in betrayal or in give or take.

I face it, another One.

I face it.

The sweat pouring from my head, the heat in my soul tickling my every part of my delicate body. Do you know this.. Spirit. I knew it, but it all came to hit me all again.

It came to show me all that I had to know. Too test all I were.

In a bubble of lies, a system of manipulation, a playground of hallucinations… yet I stare helplessly out the window…helplessly..

As Jesus soothes my strengthened heart – I ponder it all.

For all its worth, should he ever love me, should he even try,

could he ever really know.. would he ever really know.

For all its worth, they all came and saw scarecrows.

Yeah, look at me… go ahead, I know it’s your chance to see isn’t it.

The chance to see the InSane.

To watch it unfold before you

Over Again.

Continue reading “Over Again…”

The One III

It was meant to be continued..

perspective is everything.

You have to die to live. Grace is given for this, is it not.

This divine nature, this spiritual power this gift is the design in which we become one, in ourselves and with eachother.

Should I make it romantic, should cupid come out and point it’s arrow at me?

Should I catch butterflys, and then chase you around. . .or maybe, be hypnotized by you and lose my sanity?

We have choices, there is a will and there is a way.

I guess emotions somehow play a role in this discovery but they have no say on the outcome. The deepest self, the spirit is a lamp to God, searching through the inmost self and yes this part of our connection to the Supreme determines our outlook and our perception on the mysteries we find in the essence and presence of divine love.

A young woman as myself, in search of nothing but life and it’s fulfilling gifts, it’s treasures in Spirit in the mist of distractions and false concepts..

To tell the truth I once fell in the trap to the seed that was meant to destroy men. Yes, the good and evil – the serpent seed somehow tried to destroy my knowledge on Love – but it could not take away the God in me, the Christ in me.

The serpent was cursed, she was cursed and he was cursed, this whole order was corruption.

I was born on solid rock and found my way through life with the solid rock by my side. The whispers of the lies, that the serpent tried to feed me so it can take my seed and hallucinate me as one day I breed new borns in this world with no Godly character, instruction, foundation, education, and spiritual awareness of all in all – connected in One-ness of life..to have dominion in what God has given them. The lies wanted me to fall a victim to it, to become it. To run wild in romance, as I pondered on the special one, the one to sweep me away and even so to control how it would happen, to lead it to happen, to gain as much information to bring him to me. . .to think I could possibly be in the same lane as God is destruction. Oh how knowledge is deceptive.. to come out of your knowing-free and true in you-to be whipped by the illusions of love-the whisper of a lie, to turn the order into a mess.

She was decieved.

She needed to understand it was not her call to make decisions abruptly, for her own hidden agenda, she needed to have consent. With who?

The God who lives in her, and her submission is to God before any man but the gift of Men is the gift of seeing God alive in him, a head, a decision maker and one who brings his one and only in equal union with him.

She is subject to him and must pass everything to him to make an equal decision. I can’t know everything and I am not designed to lead in anyway that means calling the shots above a man, who do I think I am. Do I live ordained by man or by God. Divine love is the The Father, The Son & Holy Spirit alive and at work within him and me, our family and the home in which we choose to build.

To desire to know more than what has been allotted me will lead me in the hands of a lie, to stay one in the truth I already have within me and blossom with it inside my soul – surely will lead me to the all knowing prosperity from the Tree of Life. The Holy Spirit always spoke to me and showed me what I had to understand even when it hurt, we always keep learning and growing and I learnt when we are eager to love and to share ourself without truly knowing the full extent of Love in us, ascending through us and its true origin beyond us with all and in all – out of the universe – unmeasured – omni through what we cannot even begin to imagine, you will break down.. you won’t be strong because mens knowledge of Love is a deception, that will kill you. . only a man who holds that true love can die to live again.

True Love is found on the cross, implemented on one’s own relationship with the grace of God within their Spirit creating in them a better character, a new man, willing to walk in the full image of Love and share that relationship with someone else and the whole world.

The 2 become 1 is an act of sanctification, a will of a supreme power at work between a spiritual being and their creator.. the tree of good and evil to the tree of life, making love through the pain.. the pain we all choose because we live blind to the truth.. even so this same act of sanctification as shown between 2 individuals who have seen the mercy, forgiveness and love from their creator must show it towards one another – the sacred out of this world love but enters in us because it’s imprint is still with us, by us, guiding us.

God is Our Sacred source – He is the head – She is his side.

Now the origin of the truth can manifest and their home be blessed.

She must lean on God, for God is her sword, her meekness, her submission, her authority, her strength – making her an equal heir to this gift of life, alongside the precious man in whom pursues her.

Her Love is an anchorite.. the man whose Spirit has returned to it’s true knowledge of its fruitfulness and his leadership, and his essence empowered by the Love from the heavens can only capture her.

The One is in all who have found the true One within them.

The Tree Of Life.

CHRIST.

LOVE ETERNAL, LOVE FOR LIFE, A LOVE SUPREME IT ALWAYS LIVES ON.

We knock on it’s door everyday and it awaits our call.

One.

The Pursuit of Love

You’ve seen a feather right?

The way it flows and has it’s own rhythm.

You’ve seen a singing bird haven’t you, sitting on the bark of a  sweet cocoa tree relaxing to it’s own melodies.

You have seen two lovers, hold on tight to eachother – that sweet surrender of a comfort gaze in eachother eyes. Do you know what it takes for us. . .they echoe to the world, for us to feel this way, be this way, give this way – to be empty and full of eachother – free and yet joint – one but yet individuals.

Vulnerability. Intention. Mastery.

These are elements of ourselves we use everyday, sometimes we hardly recognize it. I often time’s wonder why the revelation itself to this supreme essence of our beings is unexplainable, words try to tell the tale of an infant growing..learning and branching out.

Words are a fragment of this pursuit.

We linger behind them hoping they come out correct, that they are organized and not muddled. In an exhausting yawn I’d say they are never ending words.

Poetry, conversations, debates, arguements, letters, stories, songs, rap’s, sign language, speeches and any more beautiful ways that we use words to articulate our emotions and express feelings.

Each civilaztion must learn what the pursuit of love is, each generation must undergo the trials of intimate living – the trials of Spirits who long for deeper sense of Life.

A tree is beautifully perched on the soil, to and fro it’s branches and leaves wave to every living being. The waters beside it recieving it’s love as it intimately connects with the particles released in the air. . .this is the flow of their aliveness – their own friendship.

In sync.

You and I, I and You, Us both.

Imagine dissolving with the ocean.. becoming the water itself, to chase the wind as it beats against your wave. To hold the boat as it leans on you for strength, to wash his feet as he stares out at the far end of the sea, mesmerized by the soft touch of the ripples.

Its real right? Us.

We keep beginning and as people we never want to slip away, sometimes we do though. To not be weighed down by the unfortunate realities in the world but to honour the truth in the reality of it taking place.

Souls in a land burderned with unpleasent history.

It lurks in the forests, an ambush of rebels – a howl of an owl – informing all living creatures of an intruder, yes..

The earth cries blood of innocent men, the suffering of helpless women, screams of children playing, wails of a hungry baby.

The world.

It unexpectantly forces you to be silent, pulls you in and pushes you out.

Do we grow too quick.

Do we seek much.

Are we learners of a superior world out of this solar system – I’d answer that question as yes.

Its the forbidden fruit that led us to question all that we ever were, who in which we were to serve. It was the forbidden fruit that carved a deep longing inside us, to desire depth of a life questionable and unquestionable. It was with us, it was us, the longing was not longing, it was your side and mine.

Era’s of human philosophy transcending limits of the evolution of men yet circulating in the same bubble. We sought to be in touch, yet we are untouching the touch – the ever breathing emotion of what is.. not us but all.

No matter what goes on in life we solve not everything, for minds of men are occupied with the thoughts of the ‘morrow or how to provide for today.

Society has changed much.

Life has changed, and continues to do so. *smiles*

We must bear in mind, nothing is new under the sun.

We ought love in One.

It’s easier said then done isn’t it. Some of us hide away from such pollution, some of us seek to build better for our loved ones, some of us tired and exhausted of a system that has no nutrients, but is a disease to human nature.

Yours sincerely, we aspire to be words so dearly.. that smother you with home and glee.

Where is home, and what is our glee.

The heart has the knowledge of its own – and in that building it forms a home. The Spirit has a quietness to its being, within it lies a soft glee of essence transcending time and eternity.

Where there is nothing, nothing but the sweet merry feather floating in the air . . .

Right in the mist of that feather, flys a dove and behind the dove a sweet angel sings a song ‘My little sunshine’

The pursuit of love could none else be but the experiment of life’s whole existence, not me, not you, or we but the talking prescence alive between it all.

Observing as it was, as it is and now.

Let there be light, and yes.. it shone and formed all for all to see.

Silence.

 

 

I Promised.

I promised.

I promised myself.

No more.

I don’t know who it is, neither do I know what it is. . because it isn’t me.

Its hard to explain it, its out of my hands and I put it behind me. I genuinly don’t want nothing to do with it. It was what it was, and I learnt – the heart is a lie. . the soul recognizes it but I don’t want it to be here.

The feeling is something that I always wanted to disappear. I ain’t a fool, I’ve been foolish yes, but never will allow myself to be a fool again. I write my feelings because if I don’t I will go mad, if it isn’t paper then it’s here – where the soul expresses it self. I read so my mind is relaxed, I just read or write.. or stare into space, sing or dance and other things thats abit weird but who isn’t weird.

I can’t go in a cycle of letting go and then remembering, why can’t he just disappear and leave me alone.

I don’t play these games, I just don’t play these games.

Your either in or out.

Hot or cold.

I’ll be relaxed, calm just doing me but a memory hits me.. a face is reminded to me and the tears begin. I pray for it to leave me, I begged God to remove it, and for it to not be a part of me anymore. I’ve had such a long time to get over what this was, whatever this was. For real, as a young woman its cool, we can cry, we have emotions, we can feel.. but this is stupid now. Even I’m tired of this love…. if it’s love anyway.

I won’t run, I don’t need too because why should I?

I’m allowed to be where I am in me, why should anyone chase me from me. Maybe its me or maybe its him..who knows.

Funny enough. Love always knows *laughs* it always knows..

So there is no maybe you or maybe me, thats being childish *laughs* We always know.

I made a solemn promise to myself, that nothing like this will ever control my life again.

EVER AGAIN.

I can truly not care, I have it in me not too but its not a nice place to be and it goes against my soul so I have to go along with the caring.. cry and not deny it.. talk myself through my promise..smile, write, exercise and eat. Simple. No biggy, no problems. A guy is just a guy. Us deep lovers know how it is, we can REALLY disconnect or REALLY connect. Its that real. We can cover everything or we can just show everything.

Men are just men, ain’t nothing special in it apart from that.

*winks*

Yes, God made them first and they are the real expression of Gods Love if he’s got himself right and is experienced *laughs* which majority of the time older men are. A Woman is an expression of him, and in God she carries his own and her own – vice versa. I study men at times, the same way a woman can fall head over heels so can he.. he does so silently, smoothly, and carefully he has a knowing.. in his knowing he fits it with her and gradually builds.. trying to control his compulsive sexual behaviour. She knows this, if he is real he’ll speak his truth regarding his impulses, if he isn’t he’ll fall into the hands of another woman rather quickly, who will be ready to grasp him for the night.. maybe longer who knows. A mans fantasy drives him for long periods of time.. This is something he alone must learn to tame. A woman is not led by compulsive sexual behaviours but by her heart which can quickly be decieved and a man can quite simply enter into it, and she falls into the net. She must not listen to her heart, she must pay attention to it but understand her soul and the loyalty joint from the soul to spirit governs the heart, mind etc.

A great man understands his fantasies and loses his interest in their superficial charm, he seeks for something long-lasting, a challenge to his nature not sexually although that would intrigue him more but moreso mentally, spiritually, soulfully but at the same time soothing to his nature, peaceful, adventurous and exciting. Each has their preference.

Same way he plays, so can she.. but she does it too bite nothing else. She does it merely to stab him in his own nature, this cripples him because she’s meant to be soft as he is, maybe softer and shes meant to manage it well – but once she has his soft place – her bite will sting, tear his guts and leave him emotionless for a while.. if she has not learnt prudence in trials and tribulations, then she will bite and make it strong too. Her prudence must surpass her feelings, but her prudence should not overule her spiritual revelation to how, why and what is the result for this act. Human behaviour is a bundle of unexplained situations, unorthdox behaviours but with spiritual awareness one can examine and see.. and this my friend ..this takes patience. Patience must not allow you to be a fool, but must reveal the foolishness of the situation and merely weigh a persons true intentions. This is disastrous. A complete mess. haha. Being slow to anger and kind gives you the shrewdness to work under drastic situations.

Hence why Love can appear to be a dangerous game. Although it is not a game. I REPEAT, LOVE IS NOT A GAME.

It is somewhat a Revelation, to you, me, mankind.. for all.

Its the state of spirit. Soul must yield to Spirit to help it evaluate everything and so effectively implement rightful actions towards ones ownself and the other.

Its either you play the game – the game is your physical nature and the mind and a loose heart or you outsmart it but are dis-satisfied because you may not win… The best thing is to lean not on ones own understanding but to be governed by the principles of God in Love.  Spiritual awareness, discernment and wisdom. This brings assurance to both parties.. loyalty consists of standing for Love seperately and together and in this there is no fear. There is only joy, and happy moments and of course.. tests to ones own nature and to both put together.

Hence why a man treads carefully in his heart with women, for the bite will be very strong. You see, its all a stupid cycle un-necessary, pointless, completely a waste of time. The game is a dangerous venom, poisonus, it will destroy you – so women get out of games!!! Do not be in a game and stop trying to be the game.. theres to many games out there. There is no competition. Trust me. Revelation is better than a game to see love before you, or the potential of it is better than a game. Games last a little bit but finish leaving us gagging.

Men, just quit playing games.. we know you control it so whats the point, come as you are, be honest and real.. thats all. We learn though, we get it, that all that time it was pretty simple, yeah.. but oh well.. we therefore move forward. Mistakes are good for us all.

I am secretly crazy and I just don’t want to care no more, my soul rests in my craziness – it somehow tames it. Love quietens me and peace is my friend when I holla at faith. This has aways been the way it’s worked for me.

Why someone would like to come and interrupt this, does not make sense. Is this my own Love, because if it is..  its crazy, real crazy.. playing games on me.. me *laughs* Its a joke.

However crazy it makes me be, I’m still calm. How is this possible, I don’t know.. but God is real. I know silently it’s dangerous but it refuses to be fired up because it knows.. it shouldn’t.. it really shouldn’t.

Let it rest in its calm, smiling when it wants.. why remind me.

Its best I truly write this out or windows will be smashed if I just sit in silence, they know my feelings.. they listen to me talk and they cry with me, they go humid when tears are in my eyes *laughs* so basically my windows cry with me.

I should be a sumarai, maybe a powerpuff or I don’t even know. This writing has actually helped me though. Seriously I was on the verge of screaming!!!

Please understand feelings are sometimes so cruel, they aways try to come back. Always. Like why? stay awayyyyy… far.. far.. away! Maybe I should just be a love counsellor to myself, or maybe live in the rainforest and be best buddies with the gorillaz they may understand me better.. they don’t say much it’s just their gestures show real affection.

*sigh* This was geuinely my writing therapy and at the end of it, the thing.. *gasps* you see if I try to explain the thing or person the picture of him may try and come back in my head.. so i’ll avoid it!!! A recent engeenir came to my house and told me go out and have fun, drink and find someone, experiment. I’d rather avoid that. *yawns*

So a little note to me:

‘Its okay girl, your heart was unaware, you fell in love with the game baby.. you didn’t even know how to play it. You to busy crying, and wanting a man to love you, who didn’t care, he didn’t even have the time anyway booboo *laughs* ahhh, girl you nearly fell for the damn snake. Sister please, never again!!! Jesus got to lead you, not your heart baby, not your heart.. it’s decietful above all things sister.. never be decieved in your heart! Just live soulfully as you were, someone who may understand you might come along. If not don’t worry yourself.. Love is revelation so life may show you something completely new! Who knows? There’s plenty of time for partnerships. DON’T LET YOUR FEELINGS CONTROL YOU GIRL!!! HE GONE, LONG GONE.

And REMEMBER – know you are wonderfully and beautifully made.

A Hidden Diamond!

And to one who finds you, finds a wonderful treasure indeed!

 

 

The Second Coming, in the Floating room.

She sat there perplex, no thought running through her mind.

Peace. The sweet sound of the bird chirping whilst charging through the calming comfort of the wind. She sat astonished by the unexpected change in her atomspshere.

Though it may of seemed like it was all a dream, a seemingly confusing bubble she managed to portray a level of light-headedness through the war. Tears unstoppable, words rushing to and fro in the mind – visions of a world that she had not seen before.

She looked around at the white room, and smiled. . . her view was in the heavens and quite naturally she was soon to leave the room and enter into a new state. Before she had time to think in a sudden moment the ceiling opened up from above her and there entered the rain, water was pouring in the room. Raindrops of love, cleansing her.. she sat upright touching her wet face laughing – how remarkable – ‘rain in the ceiling’ she thought. Nothing was in the room apart from windows, a chair and herself, she was entering the omniscient narrator. Her room was floating in the heavens.

There was a knock on the door.

Tap. Tap.

She walked slowly to the door and opened it.

“Hi Ariella” said the voice.

Her face was with no expression but she allowed him to enter.

“Hello Cariel – what brings you here?” she muttered unapologetically.

“I was told to come and speak to you” he replied.

“For what, and who told you to come” she said, her head looking out the window.

“They were watching you, and my soul told me to come back” ..

“Who is they” she responded calmly.

“The fallen ones, they knew your allegiance from the beginning of time. Your marked as one of light”

“What was your role in this?”

His face, which she had decided not to allow to make her heart feel in any way. . she had already understood that the deception was among many, and had forced itself to take place within herself.. this war nearly took her life. Who then could she trust.

“I was a part of it all, I knew what was happening to me – I had decided to play into it Ariella. I made that choice. I was it, partially a lie, that I believed. I too was fallen, I fell.” His face looked down in disappointment.

“So why are you here, what is your reason to being here” she spoke delicately.

“You are” he responded.

They both looked out the window. Ariella’s lilac robe brushing the wet floor. She whispered under her breath and the room suddenly dried, the sunlight appeared from outside and there stood a calm between them. Where there should of been enemity she beckoned peace.

“I’m the reason, and for what cause – may I kindly ask”

“You discovered way before you was ever to know the war, how is it possible that this time you was oblivious to the obvious?” he questioned.

“It is the cause of Love, it is the mere hope that one’s heart may be as true as another. This makes one appear as a fool, but it is a longing of a playful child. Cariel, from afar I knew but yet still close I denied.. for this I felt the pain, the gruesome experience and the hurt that challenged my allegiance. . even so a gift from the heavens ushers a new millienmum for an individual and for those around them” she spoke softly looking up to the heavens. He was the least of her worries, the battle was already non-existent..meaning his power was no longer needed to show her anymore lies and neither the false world. She knew where she stood.

“Ariella, I remember the light but I fell far from it.. I longed for more and this is why I became the person I was. I was just like you but some-how it all turned to darkness”

She laughed, and turned to look in his eyes,

“Of course, you became the Prince of darkness himself, you appeared sweet and tender, kind and soft. Yet still this was a lie – if you can have it all you would, if you can control you would, you would do anything to get what you want and you did”

Cariels eyes were saddened by the affect he had on Ariella, he wondered why he had allowed the fallen ones to manipulate him, and yet still unknowingly or knowingly he was under their influence.

“What am I to say?” he asked

“What do you want to say, I have heard your association – what more do I need of you” she spoke dearly.

Cariel stood there, emotionless. He looked like he had much to say that he was not able to say. Ariella smiled, she already knew.. it was pointless.

“I know you Cariel, there’s no need to be here”

“If you knew me, you would know why i’m here” he stood firmly.

Ariella, circled him. He stood upright , wary of her.

She sniffed his air.. “I know you more than you think you know, but I won’t let in to it, because you probably are aware of what I know – seeing as you are the deception”

“The fallen ones are no longer with me” he smiled. “I want to make it right again”.

She circled him again.

This time he softened.

“I smell deceit”

“Whatever you smell is what you must be in yourself” he replied with no shame.

She snorted.

“Speaks the one who comes to me to confess that he was a lie” she deeply stared into his eyes. He turned his gaze quickly.

“And so I thought” she murmered.

He forced himself to look into her eyes, refusing to be shaken in himself. Heaven stood still.

“I know what your thinking” he said

“What am I thinking” she replied, suspisciously.

He tried to speak but quickly held himself back.

She smirked and instantly her eyes lit yellow, fiery flames beaming towards him, her whole aura had changed and a wall of light circulated her. Cariel, covered his face and watched as Ariella began to float in the air – she spoke with authority:

“Then from the jaws of dragon, beast and false prophet. I saw three foul spirits come; they looked like frogs and in fact were demon spirits, able to work miricles, going to all the kings of the world to call them together for the war of the Great day of God the Almighty. Look I shall come like a thief. Blessed is anyone who has kept watch, and has kept his clothes on, so that he does not go out naked and expose his shame”

(Revelation 16:13).

Suddenly Cariel opened his mouth wide and vomitted 3 large frogs. 3 Archangel’s appeared and chained the frogs and took them to thier prison.

Ariel came back down onto the ground as Cariel lay on the floor breathless, he looked up at her.

“You was the frog I was warring against, it was you – you entered me – without my consent. I was controlled by you Cariel as you was controlled by them. I’m pressing on now”

He dared not say a word, she had already made up her mind.

She stood up and walked towards the door. . .her hands on the knob, she stood facing the door with her head tilted towards her right shoulder,

“If there are anymore worlds to come that we ever may see eachother, pass on by. . . Don’t look, I won’t remember. It will be erased, all that has taken place. Cariel, be you and i’ll be me”

She opened the door and he stood with nothing left to give as he watched her jump and begin to fly in the clouds, 2 of her guardian angels came to meet her in the air.. once again. .

Ariella was gone with the wind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The One (Part II)

Despite the longing for love, she can’t really fall for it can she?

She will show you she cares, only to hide away. She will show you who she is, only to escape.

She’s not really escaping is she.

She’s tried, but Love although free, has somehow..

restricted her. She wasn’t born to growl, neither to bark, or to roar without a valid reason.

The knowledge of love burned her soul, ripped her into pieces – year after year.. her young soul growing and questioning the evolution of this ecstatic dance.

The worst happened, she still danced. Lonliness and she still danced.. wars took place and she danced – Oh how Love appeared not to be fair. Why wasn’t she allowed to fall, she had to stand through it all, even as her own enemy. When it seemed like she fell it wasn’t a fall, it was a trip that she understood.

Trips leave bruises. She may have tried to cover them but in trying to cover them she found pleasure in feeling their pain. Dabbing at the wound, laughing at how it hurt. .She found it amusing, even after the tears. So was she mad, no matter how sweet she may have been – even when she lied to her ownself.

O’ Sweet one, where are you running to?

O’ Fiery light of the existing one’s where are you going?

It is here you found yourself to be, where else can you flee to?

She didn’t need to be good enough, although she questioned how good she was. How good could she be, trying to balance her scales. Can she blame it on being a Libra.. the old wives tale. Seeking to balance her whole being each cell begging to be liberated and challenged to reach its ultimate balance and calm. There were times she wanted to bark – times she wanted to growl – times alone when she would whimper and other times there were no noise but SILENCE.

Does Love really capture us or the moment?

Way past the horizon where soul meets soul..

Does love really reside between the between.

I guess its a reflection of Spirit.

She could be helpless in this source, completely light as a flower, or a vicious weapon, lethal and untamed on the leash devouring all in her way?

Would she ever understand this source in her.

Oh how I’d love to be loved” and so she imagines.

*laughs*

A courageous thought, that is. . . for to her it is not simple, her roar larger than herself. She is meant to love, to bow, to free her being and let loose all she is to whom? Maybe she just falls for the wrong one. The one who sees the weapon and manipulates it, is that what she deserves after all, didn’t she take the lead before he was supposed too. She is at fault, she deserves to be mad for love.. gagging desperately .. ferocious in the hallucinations – completely gone with the wind or maybe not quite so?

She’s built for silence, she’s built for simplicity. Shes built for smiles here and there. She rather hide her face than truly be seen, but if ever seen she must be gracious. She prefers the unseen though for in that world she see’s – Light that is, in that light darkness must be exposed.

The ladder of divine ascent.. she continues the mystery.

I guess the wrong one drives you mad, makes you see the insanity of their ownselves in you. . or you in them. We somehow want to figure it out, we all want to figure it out.. but she.. she.. believes its existence is somewhat a tool, a mere strategy, to glide in the omniscient existing source. . and yes she recognizes it can backfire onto her – This tool, this strategy we name Love can succumb her, to where ever her heart is set in that moment.

The heart is decietful above all things, yes – this she knows.

She has always been aware of it, but the heart has been too large to control, it somehow controlled her, until Spirit intervened yet still, the heart continued to overpower her soul – Oh how madness had to teach her, the game. . . the game she hated to play but stupidly found herself being cradled by it.

Never fully giving in but desiring to only walk away and disappear.

Unsatisfied by other ones uncertain natures. She would ponder, listen to them, at times fearful of their force. One must tap into the growl, it was impossible for her to growl on her own – she would ponder the growl, sit with the bark in her mind – but it just would’nt come out.

She somehow had to let the bark go, in order to return. The cycle consists of past, present and future. Is that why she is number 12 – simplify it, she is 3.

Maybe the wrong one had to come and intervene to show her, survival of Love doesn’t always come treading carefully. Sometimes you tread carefully and lose your sanity trying to understand things beyond your control, and in this .. yes, you become a victim to your misconceptions of realism. We then invent our own paths which then stem away from a reality we all participate in, one we all must find ourselves in – What are we though lights or darkness? We then, attack ourselves in everyway possible and we dig and dig, and dig and dig… yes and dig .. digging endlessly to therefore be controlled, therefore be used, and therefore become a slave. A slave to our misery because of our lack of knowledge, of ourselves, our being, our nature and in this does Love remain or have we fallen for definate this time?

Her nature was known to her but in the part that was yet still to learn, this was where the burn would take place.

Why must she learn?

Her essence knows the reality of this already.

It must do it again.

A hidden secret carried only waiting to be empowered by something greater than herself.

How can she ever percieve Love if she doesn’t trip, then fall and then rise to see all but rest hidden.

O’ how she’d love to be loved, but maybe that so ..would never be enough – would it?

It’s a relived beginning, a complete movie of human affairs, illustrated by sick participants, in need of a cure. Fairytales with beautiful endings but still a wonderful view from afar. Up close it’s some-what convincing to an extent but even so – it must be misunderstood so one can fully understand.

So what must she do, give all of her, if she longs for what is far out of reach in this planet, she must give all of her.. ALL OF HER. Come on, we all know. This is not something new, but if we are to form realities unseen, this is a remarkble taste, she must obey.

She understands this.

She understands this very well.

She cannot rule, unless she gives all of her.

If she desires to not be controlled she must give all, she must obey to the head of the order, so he may allow her to drive the course of action by her focus and intuition. Yes, she ought to be protected, she ought to be looked out for, why?

Can someone with such poise and grace be left alone in this omniscient ladder?

Never.

Its not a mess at all, its a detailed eloquent act of GOD. . revealed in his timing. Can she Love?

She’s always loved. A love that is unexplainable, yet she tries to interpret it. Can it be interpreted?

*She laughs*

Can one see the Unseen God? Is her response.

*She laughs* again..

To be wrong means your right but to stay and play in the wrong means your already dead in the fight. To be right means you have plenty of chances to get it wrong but to stay consistent in knowing what is right means your able to govern the fight.

To be continued..

To be continued. . .

Dear Jesus XxXxX

I bet your looking at me now like what do you want now.

*smiles*

I never write my prayers out in public but thought to type this out. Right now, I wish I was up in the heavens singing with the angels and those pretty flowers I saw singing to you ever so beautifully, on the greenery by the pathway going towards the amazing waterfall in the centre of the city. Your throne is woah.. like woah.. this earth and it’s luxuries CANNOT BE COMPARED TO YOUR THRONE AND THE HEAVENS, AND ITS BEAUTY.  The city itself is unfathomable but your throne, is just… muuaaaad. This is something any man will know when they get the chance to see it, not only in prayer but in you inviting them to see you on the throne. I hope more people experience it, when they do hmm.. boy oh boy.. will they realize that The Fathers throne ain’t no joke! Jesus your on the right side of The Father so you kicking it back, chilling.. watching us all.. intervening with your mercy, love and forgiveness. The Holy Spirit, ahhh couldn’t be more greatful.. so so so greatful for such an amazing gift bestowed upon me. Thankyou Jesus, honestly.

Those flowers sounded so beautiful, better than any voice ever heard on planet earth, I remember I use to ask you to give me one of their voices lol every prayer haha but hey who knows maybe everytime we praise abit of pollen from those flowers in heaven gets put in our spirit to enhance our praises..

It feels different, our relationship. It seems like it’s grown, its been a struggle but a blessing. I’m blessed. I don’t say that much but deep down knowing you and what we have shared I know it. You seen me through so much. No one will ever know what you mean to me.. and to others you have also helped in this world too.. mad love to them! I’m still the little me that gets up and sits on my bed talking to the open space/air and literally catching jokes with you over things people would probably find weird, you still listen though.

No words will ever express so much of your love that you have shown to me. I may not be out there, and associate with the world much or even you know, be apart of the boxes of this society.. which makes me abit weird .. but i’m cool with that..

When I tried to be in the box you kept telling me off!!! Like man the punishments I got was bare weird like, it was as if you was here proper, like a dad would discipline his child in real life physical form. Your here though, I know. I feel you. I feel so honoured to know you and to experience your truth in my life. The battles we fought and the wars in the spiritual realms have been real.. Some went by silently.. it’s crazy, you somehow made me silent in them.. when they were so huge. I’d still be talking about you, telling others of you whilst battling in darkness. Was it to make me stronger? Or to be able to know that it’s better to trust you than to put trust in man? I firmed alot, barely had friends and was always home alone haha so had no choice but to kind of deal with life and the call the way you planned for me.. even when I tried to run and not be home you always called me back. I understand your providence in my life has been real, very real. You’ve actually taught me everything Christ. No church, no religious leader, or even my Ma taught me and trust you know she is faithful boyyy, it was you..the Holy Spirit literally guided me in everything I have come to know.

Everything I didn’t understand you would show me, all I did was ask. Visions, dreams, people along the way that came and just words they would say.. Journaling my whole experiences with you.. reading books and discussing them with you in my bedroom as always. I remember John many years ago when I was 17, Ma’s friend .. I remember he told me, the Holy Spirit was his best friend, that he would laugh with it..and sit down in his living room discussing everything and just be smiling. In my head I was thinking thats me though, I do that. He told me all this wide eyed with a face of love.. now I understand. I fully understand what he meant. From young I would talk to you sitting on my bed but you finally came to me and showed yourself to me in my bedroom when I least expected it. Thats when the talks elevated, thats when you became more real, even though I believed.. I wasn’t just sitting there thinking I’m just talking and hopefully you hear. So you do listen..the dove was real and BEAUTIFUL, all 5 of them. How many years of me just talking to the air and BAMMM you appear when i’m 19, your always there..you are always there despite how we feel, ain’t got nothing to do with the world like that. Its Love man, real love.. priceless.

You have held me up, through things I didn’t expect to experience earlier in life in the spiritual realms and later on till this day too. Theres purpose for everything, a reason for everything. My faith in you will never go. I just hope in you and pray with every part of me you never leave me. Your my best friend. I think now as I sit and ponder about this all i’m forced to be stronger and bolder than ever. You have been my solid holder, literally.. where would I have been.

Every experience, my diaries, my love poems, every deep emotion connected to the depth of spirit I have felt because you was there allowing me to experience all the things I journeyed through. I guess sometimes, I wondered why? Questioning my reactions, my actions, my thoughts, my being. How could such faith be tested ongoingly, but life is a battle of the flesh and the mind with the heart and our spirit. . . to those who seek realness in the pain and struggles of life within themselves and outside of themselves.. you walked it, so you know.. divine as you are.

Did you ever think why did the Father not take the pain away Jesus? When you had to carry that cross, even though you knew you had to die for the truth and for mankind to know that truth in themselves through your walk.. even though you knew it was what you were called to do.. You probably didn’t think at all right, you just said your will be done Lord, and then went along with the plan.

Its a serious life we live, the narrow way is very serious. You said it was a hard road but in the end leads to life, and that is life to the full a blessing you give your children who seek you in Spirit and in Truth. You were right. This I knew in my heart growing up that this world was no ordinary world and other worlds existed. Innocence is sweet, life a gift.

Theres things about this life that some people haven’t come to realize, some people are aware of it and others are not. I have  been in my little bubble with you for so long, in and out of this knowing. I was acting like Jonah once the bubble got burst it was like my whole world was over. I couldn’t be a baby anymore.

*smiles* Your proper my day 1 .. like literally.

Your the only one who kept your word to me in this whole life.

Psalm 27 said it well. So I had to grasp it for myself.. sometimes parents forsake their children.. and children forsake their parents. We are always to put our faith in you before everything. So at 12 when I made a decision to get baptized, after all the weird dreams you kept showing me ..I said it would always be you. I made a vow you would be my best friend. You seriously have been, it’s funny but true in my mistakes I’d secretly come back and cry it out, some things I never understood but man in my softness you did make me strong even when it appeared I was a pushover or just plain weak! Acting tough was me trying to be strong but it didn’t work lol. Life has been changing for everyone, for centuries.. everything you said about sin, righteousness and judgement of this world was true. We cannot deny it, the believers know. There own lives are a living witness to it.

We seen it before, we’ve seen too much before it’s time.

We have lived.

Your my roar.. fully exposed.

Its alot for me, for us all of faith. . but you said you’ll never leave us nor forsake us so I’ll trust you through it all. The journey of Long Life Souls in Narnia.

I love you Jesus.

So to the next part and stage of my life through this seemingly time travelling society, please take my hand and lead me, guide me on the narrow path continuosly, and I all I ask is just please don’t leave me man lol even though you won’t I just need to say that! You already know, you already know it goes. Let my heart to be courageous and kind, honest and loving. My spirit to always remain loyal to you and then to those close to me.

I hope my life will be a blessing to those around me, and that I’ll forever walk with you..knowing deep down You are my shepherd and I shalt not want for you will always make a way as long as I believe. Psalm 23 all day everydayyyyy, Ma did well making us recite that psalm from early.. word for word you know xxx

Let wisdom, knowledge, understanding, insight, foresight and your infinite Love abide in me all the days of my life as well as your goodness and mercy.

To All who have faith, let them continue being the warriors they are, bless their individual walk with you and let us all shine your light to a world that needs to know .. that our saviour lives and yes.. we all will see you face to face once again.

My Love for life, my first Love.. Thankyou Jesus..

In the name of The Father, the Christ and in The Holy Spirit

ONE xxxxxxxx

 

 

 

Once Again.

Lost Souls who came to find existence from the first pant of life. . some of us already knew the journey was to be something huge to embrace. Our eyes awakened to the air, the breeze of our surroundings.. tears rolling down our eyes crying ..vulnerable from the calm where we were protected in the warmth of the womb.

I often times wander what God was thinking creating us, his purpose in this all. Love seems to keep us standing, we cannot even define it.. somehow we truly believe in it’s essence.

We can feel from within.

To touch, to smell, to taste, to hear, to see..

It all has meaning, just to experience the nothingness in everything, the everything from what we seem to understand as nothing but truly is all in all.. of these series of events we ponder. We are exposed.

We’ve all been before. It doesn’t surprise me.

It makes me a believer, more for truth, for the goodness of God to live among men, for humanity to be better and grow to understand the depth of Love. Immeasurable.

Fresh air.

Life, once again.