A gush of emotions, a waterfall of feelings an unstoppable beating heart.

Quick breaths, slow breaths …

whispers and silence. Glued eyes, tired eyes.

Your kiss wants to heal me. . .

my tug is here and there. You want to lose all you are in me but i’ll watch in awe.

I’ve constantly given myself to you, drooling at every time you showed up – silenced in your approach. I’ve been in different worlds caught up in our soul.

Exasperated, you may leave and find another her.

Unapologetic, I may walk away and another he will discover me.

You entered me knowing it may leave us estranged, I entered you knowing I would be lost in the breath of my own longing – in which disappears as quick as I can disappear.

So why did I fall into your charm, into your secret.. why did I let it chase my being. Oh’ you knew the thoughts of my mind and how you can play it against my own self.

You are an intruder. I never beckoned you. . . neither did I lure you.

A subtle creature you are.

I admire your bravery in which I find that my whole inner

core is not dominated by you.

You are a player, you play as much as you want. . over-exaggerate and create such tragic stories in thought it’s hallucinating and for this

I have no care, in this I have no worries . . for in this we are not attached. You sowed nothing more than a memory in which I am not tied too.

Tears will not crawl, anger will not prevail.. but my heart is no longer your home.

It seems cruel, and vicious and unrecognizable but maybe we don’t seem to understand it in ourselves, maybe it’s too powerful that we fight for it so much.

I’m yearning for you and your aching for me in your own stillness. . then we are cold in our sheets.

This portrait is a design full of white, grey and black.. small dots of yellow and slashes of purple.

We don’t hold keys no more, we are keys.. We wonder in the wilderness, the deserts and the streets of old waiting for the echoe of Life to reveal ourselves to eachother.

Why did you bother?

Why did you notice me?

You should of never came my way.

You should of never felt my heart or looked into my eyes.

Why did you take me away knowing I would only return.

Why did you test the only part of me you knew, was my secret chambered doors, knowing at the right time.. it would be my turn.. to feel it’s smooth caress in my own being.. did you think we were alike. Did you think we were mirrors.

Black mirrors. We are nothing alike.

The art of love is an imagery projected from an outter glass, where the flow of connections beats far greater than seeing you.

You will no longer have my mind or capture my heart, and I no longer yours.

We will walk away surprised by this faze.. this place where we both know no one else will fill.

What to say but to stare at you empty, expressionless.

You tried to bite me. . . You tried to bite me.

I looked you deep in the eye and wrestled your hold.

Until the end of all.. the art of love will be my call.

Kaleidoscoping.

No tears in the soul.

A memory of her and him – her and them.

rollercoasters of emotions, vomits of the

core. Running cannot solve matters.

The past only must be left behind, why revive it.

Blood and sweat running down my body –

I guess this was what I asked for. The bruised

heart is the glassed art piece in the gallery.

Roses never fade.

Emotions numbed by all there is, is the rock

really firm to not feel? To watch the feel and

glance at it’s story in us all. Is this what it all was.

The sight to sunrise in dark matter, the unquenchable

force of wind, the solitude itself sat in confinement..

what must the silence say, without your presence?

Neither gloomy, neither forcefully in high – but the neutral

essence of the being, the eyesight of the seeing.

Seen or Unseen, whats the worries or even the

bother, for when your seen.. theres not at all

a difference even when not. The mystery is somewhere

in the locked door, the existence in a haze of smoke,

the smile with hidden eyes, the sight in which

glances away. Tears and joys of life and the

fallen leaves of the age.

The long walk with the mystery is worth..

more than any treasure. The open fruit juice,

melting with sweetness in the mouth of the babe..

the smile of the Father and Mother.

Do you see the eyes unseen, do you see it.

It’s a life within you – unstoppable and called on.

Many eyes around us, within us.. but this beauty

unseen is actually evidently seeing. . I see it right now.

It’s existence peaks not through my eyes alone.

That aliveness is

not only present through the eye – but the mystical

eye. . Holy Spirit – the wholeness of Spirit revived in ones

own Living soul. . yes within the soul lives the immortal eyes of the many eyed ones.

The soft heart, reaching out of the world – furthur on from this clay – activating a mysterious wind around it.

Listen to the soul of the curvascious piano, observe the

elegant legs of the ballet, the still melodic turn of

the peacock. Are all these my anchors and more,

we can not foretell the comings and goings of

this life can we? Is the golden age a time of unlimited

spiritual existence within the both of us?

Are we the repetoire of our own neuro-shrewedness?

Does the heavy breaths matter, the sighing of your moans in the ear of the lover, the tears of love and abound patience in the clutter.

The bodies clinging to eachother desiring not to let go, the touch of eachother so soft and so slow. . . is this outter body experience of the souls a vivid climax of the eternal presense in commune – right there among them.

The heat of the eyes of their souls pleading for nothing else but more, more, and more.. the weakness and strength the murmours and shouts, the eyes closed.. nothing else but

a motion where feels are now exterminated & what is left

has not touched earth as of yet, but it explodes in the arms of the both of them?

These are not feelings, they are not emotions … why do they behave in such a way where it cannot control them..

now they control this and when they think they

are in control, they lose it all and then

the many eyed ones take place in this ancient home

and then they disappear in the dance – the sacred

dance unspoken of – their own mystery silence.

Is this what I asked for? To see and see and see. . .

We keep Kaleidoscoping.

 

 

 

Lucid Discoveries.

Can one distinguish the fact between autonomy and empiricism?

Autonomy is holding the self-governing, self-will and ever-growing potential in the balanced source within to evaluate the proceedings of Life’s ultimate will in the home of the beholder.

Empiricism is Knowledge and experience, accumalated through philosophy and the excessive study of books so one’s own brain can create it’s own wit began by another.

They both work together quite well allowing one to form new forms from both themselves and the knowledge they inherit from others and from observation.

Exploration is in fact a word that is an experiment of one’s own self. This is acceptable when one’s own reason is capable of understanding that it can go beyond it’s own being. Going beyond, is this one’s own secret? To go beyond, you either tread carefully or lose your method in the process, regaining yourself is a war. Do you know the master in who trains you for the greater beyond?

For it is not against human enemies that we have to struggle up against but against the principalities and the ruling forces who are masters of the darkness in this world, the spirits of evil in the heavens. (Ephesians 6:12)

To man it is impossible, but nothing is impossible to God. Direct words from the Christ.

What does it take to explore? Equilibrium, the state of one’s own calmness. This mystery is revolved in every being but we do not shed ourselves completely, to maintain it’s momentum.

Autonomy is self based, giving one the right to establish for himself his own setting, empericism allows your knowledge and experience to create your facts, and therefore adhere to philosophical information to branch from .. more and more. Exploration is the dive, but the dive is silence. Ideas and concepts create whirlwinds of information and excitement, exploration, when it’s rational state has continually knocked within itself.. has its foundation in both masteries within autonomy and empericism.

We sometimes do not know what we hold.

You are the philosophy of life under the arc of covenant which of course is defined by the mystery itself, the kingdom being inside of you and not outside of you. So what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul? He gains nothing. His pleasures and excitments are of the physical creations that limit his horizon at the source within, which is  built to gain more of him and less of the outter him.

New creation’s derive from order in exploration of the inner man, which does not consist of outter appearance. So diving into silence, is the only way to therefore pin one’s own perceptions, whether skeptical in theory or found in providence in a divine stature within one’s own home.

So Love, your decor and mannerisms are of it’s own accord.. To one’s own wishes, not confined by the shaking of hands, or the kiss on the cheek neither the foolish laughter of secret jokes or even so the polluted idea’s of concepts.

Be ye not conformed to the world, but be renewed in the mind, above is within – below is without.

Think of the things above, everything honourable, true, upright, what is good and praiseworthy. (Phillipains 4:8)

If that rule regulates in you exploration is therefore creating it’s own paradigm within you.

 

Challenges

Do they push us for greater or do we stay cradled in the manger?


 

I often time’s wondered why challenges were a part of life.. in what ways we were able to see ourselves through difficulties, or maybe through the joys. Through the whole journey the mental processes somehow develop faculties that enhance our perspective in the different alleyways of the mind.

Usually we are prone to over-react, distancing ourselves – fighting our being and others around us but we do not stop to revitalize the inner man, or in other cases to view our inner beings as a source of life to expand than to deteriate in our own means.

Challenges come in many ways to stop us from developing life from within us or to allow us to strive to develop more life from within us. If God has given us Life to it’s full, why does humanity allow deception of concepts and idea’s to derange there way of thinking as soon as challenges appear or even so without the challenges appearing?

There are two roads in life: The wide and spacious road in which many go through and it leads to destruction. This road is made up of things outside of you seeking to get within you, things that influence us in every area of our life, supporting our challenges and befriending them. Many take this road because it’s easy to run from your problems, right? It’s easy to have an escape route than face who you really are.. It’s easy to allow the serpent to whisper lies in your mind and you follow the whole crowd.. or even the knowledge of all these good and evil dysfunctional ideas. Self destruct why don’t you. Follow the world, why don’t you. Be an ambassador for deception – atleast you can hide away from reality.

The other road is a narrow gate, and a hard road that leads to life, and only a few find it. This road is not easy, this road will arouse the challenges to appear more frequently than usual, this road will anger the masses, it will at times anger you for it is the road for the sentiment, the bold and courageous, the faithful, the seekers of truth, the one’s who question their existence. This road is for those who do not want to fit into an agenda but to explore the mysteries of life within them. Oh fellow friend how hard this road is, to be forced to adhere to the profanities of the world, to run from the lures of the outter man, to heed to the voice of the inner man.. to connect and disconnect from God – the supreme echoe of silence in ourselves – the still calming voice of hope inside..to somehow pursue the deepest part of your ownself and allow it to reveal to you all the lies of this carefully planned out corruption of reality – made by forces that work with power, pride and every deadly act of the soul.

   Are challenages a pinnacle movement of our souls or the last straw in the hay and lights are out?

Can you justify yourself in the mist of challenges?

Are you able to re-enforce a new developing being in the challenge or does the old template re-enforce you to become it’s delerium.

Let us bear in mind, the mental processes are a way we can fend for our own insight and as well as that share the spiritual truths from within them.

Will you always be in a manger or will the challenge make you see the greater within you, than what appears to be in the world?

If the world is already judged, then adjust yourself to righteous judgement and spiritual truth – maybe find the hidden depths of your own being too, this will definately guide you. The Holy Spirit doesn’t lie when it says he is your comforter.

Be not dismayed, didn’t Christ say he had already conqueored the world.. what about you.. can the challenage conqueor you or are you able to rise from within and know that to man it is impossible but to God, he who governs life in righteousness, in spirit and truth –  nothing is impossible.

 

Her

I didn’t realize she would be the person that I had finally began to understand. Experiencing her was different, seeing her I knew she was not your average being but having taken the time out to discover her. .  she is not at all like any human I have met. I don’t want to make her seem like some perfect ethereal princess or some goddess. . .she is a mixture of many things which is very difficult to comprehend, her inner being is large but as large as it is , it is scarce. A phenomenon in her own right and yet still it isn’t a care for her.

It is beyond her, seemingly out of reach being not of this world.. although there are many worlds as some may say.. her’s is past all worlds and into the place of the eternal. Wild, yes but her child nature is an attentive wild ..at times losing herself within it. Her inner words are endless, peculiar but effortless.

   Describing her is not easy, she is an experience, a feeling, a deep rollercoaster of one’s own spiritual awareness, emotions and inner world. A path into heaven and a roar out of hell.. a silence of blinks and a smile of nothingness. Must I go on? You would wonder how can she be loved – this too is something to ponder on, for she is full of something so deep that her urge for love is not filled by humanity or neither what it can offer her. Vanity and appearances are a fleeting crack-pipe too her, a disease of the mind. . to read her is impossible but her heart  is the floet of an angel and the cry of a baby, a firmness of a warrior but yet a distant melody.. an ache of a soothing sound.

    I have watched her, and analyzed her, and she is someone whose love changes people ..frightens people.. or pushes them away. It is special, but not something in which comes around often and is understood.. it takes time to understand her for she is not observed with the physical eyes.. only when you see her will you understand.. she is more than the eyes.

   To love her could be a challenge but not a difficult challenge a fun challenge – one in which could push you to the edge of yourself in thought or one in which triggers every part of you at once – leaving you entertwined in your ownself with elements of her vibrating in you. I don’t want to say it is like fire, or like water.. neither like the air.. this is swift, the breeze doesn’t seem to see her or catch her.. she bounces on the breeze – she is somewhat a melancholic instrument – observing the weather and unfolding within it but being an echoe of the weather, unseen.

    I love her soul, and it does have me alarmed at times but it is a special gift, in extreme measures.

Too have and too hold.

For better and for worse

In sickeness and in health. .

She hold’s that key, she holds that truth.

Mystery of mysteries and yet still it will continue to reveal itself.

 

 

Did he Woo me?

It feels like a love and hate relationship.

I know it isn’t. I’m just deeply in this.. whatever this is, I can’t get out even if I try. I know what I feel when he’s away and I know what I feel when his soul is present.

When I feel him, I sometimes push it away. It’s a mixture of me thinking it’s all in my brain, and the fact I genuinely believe this narrative I’ve seen play out around me.. Mr Woo was obviously involved.

I’ve felt things, I’ve never felt.. experienced things deep in me I can’t express or explain.. through the mess somehow he was in the mist. I feel like sometimes it’s not real. That he could be playing some game on me, that i’m actually losing my head and trying to keep up with the story.

I truly believe what I feel  but I feel weird at the same time, like.. it’s this feeling that he’s there and I want to free myself but if I do… it would be soooooooooooooooo strange.

I’m holding so tightly onto this part because he could be the boogey man, and turn out to be some one I hope he isn’t. I don’t know if this is love but his presence means alot to me. I can’t explain how much but it’s like I don’t ever want him to go away. He makes me shy, makes me quiet.. and at times all I want to do is hide. My insides go funny too, and I can’t really hide my true nature bare in mind i’ve never spoken to him, this is all just soulful feelings. I love him, and thats the hardest thing for me to face even though i’m facing it but i’m trying my hardest to keep it not real even though I want it to be. Love is a huge word to use but I don’t know what else to call it.

It’s me i’m trying to hide, the me that finally is freed in the presence of another who understands or wants to understand me. Only because i’m childish and used to being alone and i’ve learnt to like that. I can’t pretend to be anything else, but be me… I wish I wasn’t shy, but i’ve never felt this before, never.

Sometimes I wish it stayed in the dream world and the physical world didn’t make it a reality, but thats being petty. Love is a beautiful thing, it’s only that being naked in love after going through a war is like woah. Whats even more annoying is no man makes me feel as he makes me feel, it’s a unique feeling.. but it’s me. . and thats why I can’t seem to completely push it away. I’m scared it may go wrong, like I am just playing this whole thing ..and then it turns out to be true because I believe in my feelings whether they are there or not, but imagine… actually I shouldn’t imagine how wrong it would be. All I do is run. I show love to people, make them smile or laugh and help as much as I can but I run from love.

I’ve always wanted it but it’s difficult to free myself up to receive it in the way I deserve to have it.. because I know what I can be like.. I may over-love him or be annoying as I am to myself haha. To have a person you can share your secrets too is something fun, someone you argue with at times, you laugh with, hug and joke with. It’s just him.. there’s something about him that makes me want to run, but I think it’s because what is felt in my core is strong. It’s something firm. My whole being kind of looks up to him, like it knows it can depend on him.. and it can actually trust him.. and I don’t trust people, to trust him would mean everything is open to him.

I want to show him me, but I don’t want him to judge me.. or to think i’m too soft.. he makes me soft like REALLY soft.

He really got to my heart and my soul.. and my Spirit knows when that happens it cannot look at anyone else.

It could be Love.

In Love, By Love

If words could explain the moments, then we’ll be here forever.

If words could define the emotions then there should be a waterfull climbing the skies.

Returning into the core of it’s truth is the ultimate lullaby. Out the desert and into a home of safety. I didn’t quite see myself in this place, but you have erupted a sudden mystery of Life that does not run out.

Life to it’s full. My soul has somehow knocked on the doors of humility, swimming in the hands of an admired touch that not only refills but takes away the blemishes.

Don’t consider it all a superstition.

It cannot be aroused, only seen.. understood – felt and sought after. Are we not here again, this time through everything I hadn’t expected.

I guess Love has a call on us all, to search within ourselves. Being more than our imaginations.

I guess he was my mind, I guess he shared my heart, I guess he was the ultimate experience. If time could stop it wouldn’t go back, if time would stop.. Life would still continue.

A revenue of repertoire’s, the notes counted for in psalms and prayers and still looks from the essence of Spirit. Could he be the one, maybe – maybe not.

Floetry is just the making of what is a secret momentum in oursleves. . I conciously explore it.

What does it all mean.. huh.. not to fathom but to summon it by believing it’s existence – Life’s existence – dwelling among men in whom seek it. .  as I have come to ack-knowledge.

We participate in this story, this reality, no longer in need of forbidden fruit but beholding the promised earth and heaven within, transformed for it’s true return for us.

Caught in the air, mesmerized by the sweet surrender as the bride meets the bridgroom.

In Love, By Love and it is because of you.

You is me, I journeyed through but somehow I met him along the way.

I happily continue on, hoping where ever he is, he has learnt his own revelation to the call of love.

In Love, By Love.

 

 

 

Sunflowers and Erased memories

She blinked twice, and then yawned as she rolled over in her bed, little old Sarah 5ft3 inches in size, with her smooth brown skin and bubbly eyes. . . in her own world floating by through her lens. She sat up not quite sure where she ended up, somehow it seemed that she spaced travelled before everything actually landed. She was in a bed, surrounded by sun flowers and her pyjama’s were bright pink and yellow.

‘What is going on’? She whispered in her mind. She didn’t quite recall being from here or in any way was this her life. Pulling back her bed covers she stood up looking at the room around her covered in sunflowers – the windows blew open and the wind blew in her direction, the wind whispered the words,

“kina abinda asuwa lawin” meaning

“Defender of men abiding in the warmth, joys and optimisim of a young man”

The wind stopped as she stared at the window, her being in complete perplex stature, outside was filled with water and no paths leading to land. Only here, within this gold room, with a double King sized bed – and the draws in which were dated and seemed from centuries many years ago – yes there dwelt the sunflowers flowing and surrounding the bed and the floor.. she was not where she was meant to be. Even still she could not remember where it all began!

The wind blew the window again, and there she saw 3 little children 2 boys and 1 girl playing with toys, and they looked up at her smiling, “Mommy” they cried.. running towards her, she blinked again and then they were gone. Sarah with her small frame and her short flowy hair, turned back around and walked towards her bed, she was about to sit down until she heard someone calling her name.

“Sarah, Sarah!” she darted across the room, a trickle of fear consuming her, she didn’t reply. The voice whispered again,

“Sarah” and then stood before her appeared a young man, about 5 ft 5 inches, his skin golden brown – his eyes a deep brown piercing through into her. She looked back at him in a calmness she didn’t expect to feel, he smiled and stroked her cheeks – he slowly stepped closer to her and caressed his cheeks with hers.

“Who are you” she gasped.

“Everything you hoped for” he replied whispering into her ears.

“What do you mean, how did you just appear and how isit you found me here” she replied releasing herself from his hold.

“I always appeared to you, but you never noticed me. Before you came here and I know you remember, or recall being elsewhere, you was with me – you and I are were a reflection in someone else who was erased from your mind. I appeared because we hold the same power, I can appear to you however and whenever I choose – likewise you can appear to me.. You just didn’t realize who I was or how to get to me.. only I could reveal myself to you.. in ways where I knew you would know me.”

She looked completely baffled by his response.

“I’m everything you hoped for, and your everything I hoped for but you are scared of me. You know me but you fear me, I know the deepest parts of you but you still refuse to accept me. Do you not see why you are here alone? This is a chance for us to come back again, the way it always should of been. . . you were a blur to my dreams for many years – I knew you in my sleep but not in my reality. I found you, and when I did you never recognized me” the young man looked away. He was strong in his emotion that Sarah was stilled by his being.

“What is your name” she asked quietly.

“Josh” he responded looking at her with affection. He wanted to hold her, and show her much of himself but she was a little frightened. It seemed that he was in fact someone she could remember but it seemed like a faint memory, she seemed to find herself in another world – whatever had happened before was being erased.

Sarah knew she was alone in her world, a stranger to the norm. .  the silence and smiles of an atomsphere. She would not only speak to herself but she was a creator of worlds that only she knew. Where ever her old life was, it somehow seemed to have been a place where she was stuck in those worlds, seeking to find a way out. Somehow this bedroom was her way out, it was her breeze.. where only she could stay in her deep emotion and cater to it on her own.

Josh knew he couldn’t let her do that. He knew he had to find a way for her to believe him, to know that he was real and not a wind in her dream or mind. He knew she was not of this world but somehow she was able to float by buried in her own worlds where no one could go in apart from her. He understood this, because he had this in him and it was through her that he saw it. Somehow Sarah was a being that very few would understand and he knew only he would, and only he could.. she was not easy to trace, neither easy to get into but he could – he knew he could and he had too. Lessons come and go in life and Josh seemed to realize this was never a lesson this was his own truth but this truth somehow was so much to bear for itself that it didn’t seek anyone to uphold it. He knew it was designed to be held, and nurtured but it’s depth was so big for itself it could only hide it away.. and pretend it knew not of this life and truth it held.

“Why do you always do this” he asked, looking away.

“Do what?” She responded, softly.

“You hide, you are not willing to reveal it all to me.. even though you know our hearts are connected and our souls experience was for us to both share eachother. . why do you run away from what can help you, love you and nurture you – why won’t you let anyone deeply in” he asked, in sincerity.

“My secrets and my worlds are my comfort and so have been for many years. I never would imagine another to share it with me or to see me as who this being really is. It scares me to let another dive deep in me because I realize the purpose of surrender is to show it all.. even if it appears strange.. I don’t know who would take care of it and not fear going in deep into me. I don’t know if anything ever is real because no one seems to prove to me what is.. I just had to experience it all. So my worlds create their functions and I adhere to them in hopes that they will keep me safe with my God and myself” she replied looking down.

Josh took her hand and stared at them for a few minutes calculating what he would say next. He seemed to be in his own thought and clearly what he wanted to say was abit grander than she imagined.

“In my world, alot goes on. I don’t share it with others but I longed to share it with you. I too am lost in my own solitude at times, I too get lonely and escape but I too am not as what really it appears to be. There’s alot about me that needs to be shown to someone who could understand that part of me and not feel ashamed of it. I pushed people away because I know the sacredness of what is within and it’s what I feel everyday but I push it aside.. I know whats real.. I know whats real to me. I wake up to it, I sense it, I breathe it .. I see it and I know. I know looking in your eyes that you know too but you shy away and you back away from it all because you have had to do it alone. What if you don’t need to do it alone anymore? What if you had someone to be by your side. . someone you know your heart can be released and opened to? This is not a dream Sarah this is true, this is real only if you want it to be”.

Sarah felt every word, as she looked at him she felt hopeless but still continued to stare within his eyes. Her being to herself was complicated, was to big for her to maintain so she would remain silent. She was drawn to silence, but she didn’t want silence. What she knew she had to experience was to release it all, to let it go and to believe her own being was not a problem to her ownself or to others. She had to accept that she was what she never could imagine only what she appeared to be. Words could go on for her, but to her ownself she would prevent the reality of it from going on. Reduced to silence, where it all began to a place where she had no idea even existed. . where the world was just an empty shell and a free flow. Tears rolled down her eyes, as he pulled her to his chest,

“I don’t want to do it alone, but I don’t know how it works. This gold room, this bed – this is all I’ve known as me”.

He smiled. . .

“I know but we can be there together, and it can be me and you in my room together. Then we can walk together, be friends together – experience our lives together with all around us. . together. Its our step and your step is mine as much as mine is yours – just let me in – don’t just push me away knowing me – let me in – just let me in and you will see. I know it’s huge but I know I got it just as much as you do”.

He held her in his arms, close by his chest and rocked her. He understood this was his truth and he was not able to let it go.. it was his responsibility to allow it all to be as he knew it should.. to be what he knew she had been to herself and to others. Her imaginations revealed so much to him that he could not walk away.. He would not walk away. Josh was a man of depth and knew that in himself this depth was searching to be held and opened into as much depth as he. It could not be as simple as he knew, for divine truth was out of his hands but only when he listened he was able to hear the footsteps of his inner depth coming towards him. The wind blew the window once again, and the atomsphere changed, the room was no longer the room.

There they both stood in a park full of greenery and flowers of all kinds, the she was holding onto him and he to her. Both reduced to their own inner silence.

 

 

 

 

Replay

I guess it is true, I cannot get away from the emotion deep down.
Although secretly I feel that somehow it was a game, the game was the formation of one’s own beckoning call. . . at the same time experience is the  master creator of a better outcome. Replayed right? Ugh huh.. It all was and is.. but deep down i’ll hold on to my Creator he holds the answers to the things we cannot seem to fathom.
I learnt alot from the truth and still have much to learn in it about Life itself – especially myself. .
I study my feelings at this point, observing what hit the heart and melted me from within. He who studied me from within as I crumbled crying for Love and it’s sovereign throne and power in the highest heavens to pour its grace on me through mercy.
I would like to say that maybe the heart-beat was a lie, maybe it was a dream.. maybe my own deception but I realize for me there cannot be maybes. Startled at the fact that I’m forced to examine my true feelings beyond the physical part – I was touched by his mystery. Firstly, Looking in someones eyes that I once knew and always cared about was deeply touching – that it haunted me for time stopped and all we shared was this space. The space that echoed in my soul.
The heart that shared its feel with my own it calmed my soul, it secretly gave me a hidden hope that I never knew was being reflected at me. Humbled by its touch until this present moment and frightened by it’s power and it’s affect within me. I’m silently walking away in a mist of God alone in my own element and world carrying one of the deepest life-changing events in my soul. I want to say the things I know I should but my heart is held back, I do have courage but once again I know this is what I behold and it’s sovereign to me.. it has raced my heart and woo’ed my soul.
The passion to drive me into tears but I am forced to stay firm because I realize life is our field of studying the art of ourselves, shared with others. The mystery man has left a mark of Gods truth in me. I’m no stranger to God’s truth, always knocking and seeking so its a solid sparkle in me.
I’m quietened deep down and i’m strengthened too and my best friend God well.. he must be laughing at me right now as I type this once again trying to express the hardest thing I can’t really express somewhere hidden in me.. in a different zone.
The mysteries of Loves Journey is one we all take, so now i’m quiet once again.. Listening, smiling, looking in..looking out, looking out looking in. Not asking for much but the reassurance of Love and Grace from my heavenly Father to NEVER leave me but hold me forever in his arms.. and be my eternal friend forever.

– Lovesmysteries

Heartless, Heart-full

At this stage you would think smiles are neccessary.

Quite often things we think are real are actually an existence in itself but at times not as we fathom. I’d say my emotions through the process were true, and at this point they are numbed.

I have numbed them.. maybe me.. maybe another – who knows. I take things seriously, and on one hand some are lightly shaken over but this.. this.. I find it quite hard to shake off. Somehow I will let it go, maybe because my feelings are strong and I will not allow them to consume me.. NEVER.

Spiritual realms are real and what takes place there allows me to see a persons true intentions, could you say the same to me?

I know what I feel and never forget it.. it only takes time for me to assess it and battle against it. Maybe it isn’t always what we think it is, maybe it’s seeing simularities in someone else as yourself – maybe thats the whole narrative – who knows. . for One we are but different in many ways.

Could I say his responses in the spiritual realm has made me heartless – never but less heart is applied to this feel, I do not desire to feel from here for it has failed me and he has the capabilities of failing me – I understand this. . not just him – anyone. I have nothing to hide, but even so.. to reveal anymore is pointless. This feel of intimacy will not be played out again, he won’t get there again. A foolish game.

Heart-full, I guess this cup has been filled with the unseen light and now moving on is a part of life – lessons are learnt.

Let go – my being says, just let it go. Every feel has been felt by you both, what else now.. afterall his head would rather lean on another in the unseen world and to me that is fine.. for Life is filled with choices. I’m my own friend, with God inside of me – Me myself and God.. I’m all I’ve got – and I would never beg another to be in my life.

I’ve seen myself, I’ve seen my choices.. my mistakes and pains and my alone-ness. No one has had me but my Father in heaven. The only person I thought was a true connection isn’t as I actually think, it was an experience to learn more about me and Love and somehow take it away and never forget it.. let it embed in my soul as a special story to my ownself.

Do I love his being? I think to have shared a heart-beat and then some deep intimate emotions made me love him for I somehow died to be one in his presence.. not only his presence.. as I think but his soul was felt in the process.. why wouldn’t I love someone who ..shared me with them. Do I continue to feel this way after seeing and experiencing hidden secrets of the soul.. To walk away is the best thing – for it would only turn me crazy to face it all as it is and know that my deep feelings are exposed and it will no longer be me upholding me – for I have experienced another hold with me.

Loyalty to The Father and to me is what matters in this world.. Unseen and Seeing. I don’t know what the future holds, this all has been an Unseen Love.. beginning with me and then my experiences – my challenges – my interactions – my relationships – my all.

Look into the eyes of Life, and tell me it will be alright.. I look at me and say

“It’s always alright, for we ride it out to die – only to live again”

LOVE.. TO LOVE IS TO DIE IN OUR BEING TO STAY, ONE IN THE ESSENCE TOGETHER ALWAYS.

LEARNING OMNI VALUES ETERNALLY. IN THIS WORLD AND THE WORLD TO FOLLOW ON.

Spiritual beings, eternal souls with fire in our hearts burning for the throne unseen.

  • The mysteries of Love xox