Souls Eye, Eyes of the Heart.

Isit our own forbidden story.

8.

From the moment I saw him, I understood the feeling.. the knowing. The same feel never changed. I pondered on it, never forgot it. Words can’t even explain, I guess my hallucination made me imagine so much, took me into a different part of myself, some parts I had already explored. 9 years is a long time to not forget someone, to somehow disappear in the mist and then be reminded of the one person whom you felt the most without words, although there was so much I wanted to say and did yet still the words weren’t real enough.. I knew saying nothing at the same time was also a way of just allowing myself to just feel or maybe not. Whenever I spoke to him, or was around him I felt that high sometimes making me silent or other times making me want to talk so much. Though I never got so many chances with him, I understood what I felt more than words. The Souls eyes awakened long ago, seeing him in school made me recognize another, just like me. I could write for days but for some reason I’ve given up expressing this, maybe because deep down it hurts but yet its healed.. maybe because I somehow feel that it will never be the same, although its never meant to be is it. Things change. People change.. thats the sad thing about life. The world gets the best of us, swallows us into it’s maze into its hole. I’ve never cared for someone as much as I did he. For me its like the souls eyes knows it doesn’t need to be close, even though it sometimes desires his closeness. I even feel deep down it’s best I let go, the one thing I know is that sometimes that which is so strong can consume and take you away from everything – I don’t want to even think about it.. I shouldn’t. It’s that which is not recognized nor seen but we see.. the unseen in us allows us to see.. to swallow up everything and feel every part smother you and yet never let go.. to dissolve – completely. There will never be another soul who can move me like he did, but there is bound to be others who can relate. Being naked will never be enough, to enter me and me into him is just the beauty of the magnificant essence alive and existing. There is more, it doesn’t matter that it took all of me, there is more – we go beyond what we know, way more. Its not as if he has that hold on me, no man can hold the Christ in a being. They can believe they can by speaking it into existence but we unravel existence.. us unseeners. . where do we come from some ask.. only The Creator knows. Heaven and Earth will pass away but my word will remain.. spoken directly from the Christ. Son of Man, Son of God. My souls eyes I love him, he probably won’t understand that love. I don’t expect him too, I really don’t. Nothing can buy it, the fact it took me too my own madness whether he was the foe or genuine, who knows but I believed it – always did from when I was younger.. I don’t want to say no more. I have to let go.. otherwise i’ll be ripped apart even more.

+

The eyes of the heart was secretive, need I say more? It beated with my own – what did he.. the heart want to prove, that it was just like me? Stepping out to view one – I see you, 3 times in fact. Wondered if you saw into me, if you felt me. . if you did then what did you think. Was this your game too, nosey much?

*smiles* I wonder if you’ve been ripped apart, if so you must of enjoyed the show. Front row seats, maybe? Who knows. Your secretive, silent in your movements.. doing more than what is actually seen. Speak the truth from the heart. It’s deep, we are all deep. Some more than others. It’s not that simple, but it is – should I scream at you? Should I smile or look away quickly? Its not even me is it, the fight, the pull and tug – unrecognized.. It’s hidden comfort. In the warmth of it’s own being – you play hard to get heart, you know it. You just can’t be captured, you were always captured and you always dug and dug and dug and never stopped. You asked and asked and never stopped. Present, held and so it was never outside of yourself – It promised you it would hold you and you believed it.. eyes of my heart – you never lied. I went to that dimension of the heart, the holder of my heart held my hand and I looked behind at the world waving.. being guided through the unknown. Little me. So why did you beat with me? To find out my secrets and what would you do then?

You are just as special, the softness is something delicate.

A roar, I see you.

Inevitable.

Firm.

True.

 

 

 

A Soldier

I’m caught away with something, whatever that something is.

I’ve felt all I could. . . is feeling ever enough.

The mind doesn’t want to battle anymore.

I’m holding strong, I don’t want to be weak. . . I don’t want to fall. I’m staring out of no where but what this place I imagined to be is not exactly a fantasy land. It was never a fantasy, not to me.. but now I’ve been gone with the wind – taken away from everything I knew.. and left not splattered but courageously standing.. I remember. .

Who knew that eyes could make me lose my focus,

a moments heart beat could day-dream my whole sanity. .

A deep stare in slow motion could tickle my inner stomach…

A small talk could excite my being once again.

It’s a hold, no letting go.

A heavy breath, one breath, one pant.. ai..

I won’t run then would I – would be so entangled inside the inside with this natural mystic. . maybe it’s the both of us.

It was never a war, it was reality. Every part of it, every pain, every inner scream of passion, every tear, every word spoken as I walked up and down my bedroom panting. Spiritual cries.. a soul yearning.. I shouted at myself, talked myself out of it all.. Oh the things I did for this feeling.

Everytime I came out the bath and stared at me, naked.. I said nothing. .Just stared. . . no feeling but the space of this invisible person.. this man I never knew.. as the water dried I would silently smile inside. Hugging myself saying it will all be over..

He just don’t know how strong it is..

How weak it can be..

How it can let go. . .

How it can play freely and still not let go of the hold.

Just for he. .

A soldier.

I whisper to myself once again..

“Please young Lady, don’t run. . don’t run. . Be Free”

 

 

Note-worthy

What does it mean?

Seemingly being all that you were and are already.

Distinction of the finest efforts applyed by domestic care, you are the outcome.

Sobriety in a dis-illusioned setting, mystic at it’s core but the enemy somehow lurks to falsify the effect. A saviour much, as so it may appear to be, don’t be fooled. Sinners we are, turnt to heros in the darkest hours.

An answer for much, a sight of some.. a word spoken an explanation heard, ways to help… words of hope, cry on me. The time to solve an issue beyond you. Tired, but continually resulting to one.

Who can you run too, in order to understand – I guess we face our trials in the mist of others and yes – this is healing as well as putting our part in the past. Shimmering away to the comfort of our being. I saw me in them. I saw me in them, it somehow was a play, one I understood – one I saw beckoning in the mist of us. The heart understood, would it come back?

    It did, slowly.. the gesture was always the niceness.. the mother correcting and encouraging. Problems anyone?

Run to her. No problems well, she is no longer remembered.

It is a cycle, viewed as understanding to oneself and offering to life and it’s form. Learn to live through it all, leave behind the things that replay. I see you, you see me. Full stop.

 I’m cosy here, away – mesmerised by the planets decay and yet by it’s cure in the womb. Why fathom that which shall not be understood but continually is within a cycle.

Mono-tone, with a smile of acceptance.

There is no pity is there? A raised eyebrow maybe…

Quite frankly a dismissal of a stare. Look away.

This is no beating heart, or drooling love, or the poise of residing in a make believe society.

Common words are told: Solitude invites many, but you drive them away by one’s own fortitude.

This is noteworthy:

Establish an inner arc preserved for the witness, melancholy may try to war the arc – harshness – the battles of the sinful nudes of the calamity of the world – but the arc is a solid construction. . built not by solid hands but by the Divine melody of life.

 Swiftly riding on… quietly… in the song.

 

 

The One III

It was meant to be continued..

perspective is everything.

You have to die to live. Grace is given for this, is it not.

This divine nature, this spiritual power this gift is the design in which we become one, in ourselves and with eachother.

Should I make it romantic, should cupid come out and point it’s arrow at me?

Should I catch butterflys, and then chase you around. . .or maybe, be hypnotized by you and lose my sanity?

We have choices, there is a will and there is a way.

I guess emotions somehow play a role in this discovery but they have no say on the outcome. The deepest self, the spirit is a lamp to God, searching through the inmost self and yes this part of our connection to the Supreme determines our outlook and our perception on the mysteries we find in the essence and presence of divine love.

A young woman as myself, in search of nothing but life and it’s fulfilling gifts, it’s treasures in Spirit in the mist of distractions and false concepts..

To tell the truth I once fell in the trap to the seed that was meant to destroy men. Yes, the good and evil – the serpent seed somehow tried to destroy my knowledge on Love – but it could not take away the God in me, the Christ in me.

The serpent was cursed, she was cursed and he was cursed, this whole order was corruption.

I was born on solid rock and found my way through life with the solid rock by my side. The whispers of the lies, that the serpent tried to feed me so it can take my seed and hallucinate me as one day I breed new borns in this world with no Godly character, instruction, foundation, education, and spiritual awareness of all in all – connected in One-ness of life..to have dominion in what God has given them. The lies wanted me to fall a victim to it, to become it. To run wild in romance, as I pondered on the special one, the one to sweep me away and even so to control how it would happen, to lead it to happen, to gain as much information to bring him to me. . .to think I could possibly be in the same lane as God is destruction. Oh how knowledge is deceptive.. to come out of your knowing-free and true in you-to be whipped by the illusions of love-the whisper of a lie, to turn the order into a mess.

She was decieved.

She needed to understand it was not her call to make decisions abruptly, for her own hidden agenda, she needed to have consent. With who?

The God who lives in her, and her submission is to God before any man but the gift of Men is the gift of seeing God alive in him, a head, a decision maker and one who brings his one and only in equal union with him.

She is subject to him and must pass everything to him to make an equal decision. I can’t know everything and I am not designed to lead in anyway that means calling the shots above a man, who do I think I am. Do I live ordained by man or by God. Divine love is the The Father, The Son & Holy Spirit alive and at work within him and me, our family and the home in which we choose to build.

To desire to know more than what has been allotted me will lead me in the hands of a lie, to stay one in the truth I already have within me and blossom with it inside my soul – surely will lead me to the all knowing prosperity from the Tree of Life. The Holy Spirit always spoke to me and showed me what I had to understand even when it hurt, we always keep learning and growing and I learnt when we are eager to love and to share ourself without truly knowing the full extent of Love in us, ascending through us and its true origin beyond us with all and in all – out of the universe – unmeasured – omni through what we cannot even begin to imagine, you will break down.. you won’t be strong because mens knowledge of Love is a deception, that will kill you. . only a man who holds that true love can die to live again.

True Love is found on the cross, implemented on one’s own relationship with the grace of God within their Spirit creating in them a better character, a new man, willing to walk in the full image of Love and share that relationship with someone else and the whole world.

The 2 become 1 is an act of sanctification, a will of a supreme power at work between a spiritual being and their creator.. the tree of good and evil to the tree of life, making love through the pain.. the pain we all choose because we live blind to the truth.. even so this same act of sanctification as shown between 2 individuals who have seen the mercy, forgiveness and love from their creator must show it towards one another – the sacred out of this world love but enters in us because it’s imprint is still with us, by us, guiding us.

God is Our Sacred source – He is the head – She is his side.

Now the origin of the truth can manifest and their home be blessed.

She must lean on God, for God is her sword, her meekness, her submission, her authority, her strength – making her an equal heir to this gift of life, alongside the precious man in whom pursues her.

Her Love is an anchorite.. the man whose Spirit has returned to it’s true knowledge of its fruitfulness and his leadership, and his essence empowered by the Love from the heavens can only capture her.

The One is in all who have found the true One within them.

The Tree Of Life.

CHRIST.

LOVE ETERNAL, LOVE FOR LIFE, A LOVE SUPREME IT ALWAYS LIVES ON.

We knock on it’s door everyday and it awaits our call.

One.

The Pursuit of Love

You’ve seen a feather right?

The way it flows and has it’s own rhythm.

You’ve seen a singing bird haven’t you, sitting on the bark of a  sweet cocoa tree relaxing to it’s own melodies.

You have seen two lovers, hold on tight to eachother – that sweet surrender of a comfort gaze in eachother eyes. Do you know what it takes for us. . .they echoe to the world, for us to feel this way, be this way, give this way – to be empty and full of eachother – free and yet joint – one but yet individuals.

Vulnerability. Intention. Mastery.

These are elements of ourselves we use everyday, sometimes we hardly recognize it. I often time’s wonder why the revelation itself to this supreme essence of our beings is unexplainable, words try to tell the tale of an infant growing..learning and branching out.

Words are a fragment of this pursuit.

We linger behind them hoping they come out correct, that they are organized and not muddled. In an exhausting yawn I’d say they are never ending words.

Poetry, conversations, debates, arguements, letters, stories, songs, rap’s, sign language, speeches and any more beautiful ways that we use words to articulate our emotions and express feelings.

Each civilaztion must learn what the pursuit of love is, each generation must undergo the trials of intimate living – the trials of Spirits who long for deeper sense of Life.

A tree is beautifully perched on the soil, to and fro it’s branches and leaves wave to every living being. The waters beside it recieving it’s love as it intimately connects with the particles released in the air. . .this is the flow of their aliveness – their own friendship.

In sync.

You and I, I and You, Us both.

Imagine dissolving with the ocean.. becoming the water itself, to chase the wind as it beats against your wave. To hold the boat as it leans on you for strength, to wash his feet as he stares out at the far end of the sea, mesmerized by the soft touch of the ripples.

Its real right? Us.

We keep beginning and as people we never want to slip away, sometimes we do though. To not be weighed down by the unfortunate realities in the world but to honour the truth in the reality of it taking place.

Souls in a land burderned with unpleasent history.

It lurks in the forests, an ambush of rebels – a howl of an owl – informing all living creatures of an intruder, yes..

The earth cries blood of innocent men, the suffering of helpless women, screams of children playing, wails of a hungry baby.

The world.

It unexpectantly forces you to be silent, pulls you in and pushes you out.

Do we grow too quick.

Do we seek much.

Are we learners of a superior world out of this solar system – I’d answer that question as yes.

Its the forbidden fruit that led us to question all that we ever were, who in which we were to serve. It was the forbidden fruit that carved a deep longing inside us, to desire depth of a life questionable and unquestionable. It was with us, it was us, the longing was not longing, it was your side and mine.

Era’s of human philosophy transcending limits of the evolution of men yet circulating in the same bubble. We sought to be in touch, yet we are untouching the touch – the ever breathing emotion of what is.. not us but all.

No matter what goes on in life we solve not everything, for minds of men are occupied with the thoughts of the ‘morrow or how to provide for today.

Society has changed much.

Life has changed, and continues to do so. *smiles*

We must bear in mind, nothing is new under the sun.

We ought love in One.

It’s easier said then done isn’t it. Some of us hide away from such pollution, some of us seek to build better for our loved ones, some of us tired and exhausted of a system that has no nutrients, but is a disease to human nature.

Yours sincerely, we aspire to be words so dearly.. that smother you with home and glee.

Where is home, and what is our glee.

The heart has the knowledge of its own – and in that building it forms a home. The Spirit has a quietness to its being, within it lies a soft glee of essence transcending time and eternity.

Where there is nothing, nothing but the sweet merry feather floating in the air . . .

Right in the mist of that feather, flys a dove and behind the dove a sweet angel sings a song ‘My little sunshine’

The pursuit of love could none else be but the experiment of life’s whole existence, not me, not you, or we but the talking prescence alive between it all.

Observing as it was, as it is and now.

Let there be light, and yes.. it shone and formed all for all to see.

Silence.

 

 

The Second Coming, in the Floating room.

She sat there perplex, no thought running through her mind.

Peace. The sweet sound of the bird chirping whilst charging through the calming comfort of the wind. She sat astonished by the unexpected change in her atomspshere.

Though it may of seemed like it was all a dream, a seemingly confusing bubble she managed to portray a level of light-headedness through the war. Tears unstoppable, words rushing to and fro in the mind – visions of a world that she had not seen before.

She looked around at the white room, and smiled. . . her view was in the heavens and quite naturally she was soon to leave the room and enter into a new state. Before she had time to think in a sudden moment the ceiling opened up from above her and there entered the rain, water was pouring in the room. Raindrops of love, cleansing her.. she sat upright touching her wet face laughing – how remarkable – ‘rain in the ceiling’ she thought. Nothing was in the room apart from windows, a chair and herself, she was entering the omniscient narrator. Her room was floating in the heavens.

There was a knock on the door.

Tap. Tap.

She walked slowly to the door and opened it.

“Hi Ariella” said the voice.

Her face was with no expression but she allowed him to enter.

“Hello Cariel – what brings you here?” she muttered unapologetically.

“I was told to come and speak to you” he replied.

“For what, and who told you to come” she said, her head looking out the window.

“They were watching you, and my soul told me to come back” ..

“Who is they” she responded calmly.

“The fallen ones, they knew your allegiance from the beginning of time. Your marked as one of light”

“What was your role in this?”

His face, which she had decided not to allow to make her heart feel in any way. . she had already understood that the deception was among many, and had forced itself to take place within herself.. this war nearly took her life. Who then could she trust.

“I was a part of it all, I knew what was happening to me – I had decided to play into it Ariella. I made that choice. I was it, partially a lie, that I believed. I too was fallen, I fell.” His face looked down in disappointment.

“So why are you here, what is your reason to being here” she spoke delicately.

“You are” he responded.

They both looked out the window. Ariella’s lilac robe brushing the wet floor. She whispered under her breath and the room suddenly dried, the sunlight appeared from outside and there stood a calm between them. Where there should of been enemity she beckoned peace.

“I’m the reason, and for what cause – may I kindly ask”

“You discovered way before you was ever to know the war, how is it possible that this time you was oblivious to the obvious?” he questioned.

“It is the cause of Love, it is the mere hope that one’s heart may be as true as another. This makes one appear as a fool, but it is a longing of a playful child. Cariel, from afar I knew but yet still close I denied.. for this I felt the pain, the gruesome experience and the hurt that challenged my allegiance. . even so a gift from the heavens ushers a new millienmum for an individual and for those around them” she spoke softly looking up to the heavens. He was the least of her worries, the battle was already non-existent..meaning his power was no longer needed to show her anymore lies and neither the false world. She knew where she stood.

“Ariella, I remember the light but I fell far from it.. I longed for more and this is why I became the person I was. I was just like you but some-how it all turned to darkness”

She laughed, and turned to look in his eyes,

“Of course, you became the Prince of darkness himself, you appeared sweet and tender, kind and soft. Yet still this was a lie – if you can have it all you would, if you can control you would, you would do anything to get what you want and you did”

Cariels eyes were saddened by the affect he had on Ariella, he wondered why he had allowed the fallen ones to manipulate him, and yet still unknowingly or knowingly he was under their influence.

“What am I to say?” he asked

“What do you want to say, I have heard your association – what more do I need of you” she spoke dearly.

Cariel stood there, emotionless. He looked like he had much to say that he was not able to say. Ariella smiled, she already knew.. it was pointless.

“I know you Cariel, there’s no need to be here”

“If you knew me, you would know why i’m here” he stood firmly.

Ariella, circled him. He stood upright , wary of her.

She sniffed his air.. “I know you more than you think you know, but I won’t let in to it, because you probably are aware of what I know – seeing as you are the deception”

“The fallen ones are no longer with me” he smiled. “I want to make it right again”.

She circled him again.

This time he softened.

“I smell deceit”

“Whatever you smell is what you must be in yourself” he replied with no shame.

She snorted.

“Speaks the one who comes to me to confess that he was a lie” she deeply stared into his eyes. He turned his gaze quickly.

“And so I thought” she murmered.

He forced himself to look into her eyes, refusing to be shaken in himself. Heaven stood still.

“I know what your thinking” he said

“What am I thinking” she replied, suspisciously.

He tried to speak but quickly held himself back.

She smirked and instantly her eyes lit yellow, fiery flames beaming towards him, her whole aura had changed and a wall of light circulated her. Cariel, covered his face and watched as Ariella began to float in the air – she spoke with authority:

“Then from the jaws of dragon, beast and false prophet. I saw three foul spirits come; they looked like frogs and in fact were demon spirits, able to work miricles, going to all the kings of the world to call them together for the war of the Great day of God the Almighty. Look I shall come like a thief. Blessed is anyone who has kept watch, and has kept his clothes on, so that he does not go out naked and expose his shame”

(Revelation 16:13).

Suddenly Cariel opened his mouth wide and vomitted 3 large frogs. 3 Archangel’s appeared and chained the frogs and took them to thier prison.

Ariel came back down onto the ground as Cariel lay on the floor breathless, he looked up at her.

“You was the frog I was warring against, it was you – you entered me – without my consent. I was controlled by you Cariel as you was controlled by them. I’m pressing on now”

He dared not say a word, she had already made up her mind.

She stood up and walked towards the door. . .her hands on the knob, she stood facing the door with her head tilted towards her right shoulder,

“If there are anymore worlds to come that we ever may see eachother, pass on by. . . Don’t look, I won’t remember. It will be erased, all that has taken place. Cariel, be you and i’ll be me”

She opened the door and he stood with nothing left to give as he watched her jump and begin to fly in the clouds, 2 of her guardian angels came to meet her in the air.. once again. .

Ariella was gone with the wind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He/r Liberty – – ^

Confined?  No.

Free? Ones Spirit is with the wind, graciously.

Like the whispers of the air polluted with mixtures of gas, the oxygen and nitrogen particles swimming – I am a stranger.

A stranger yet so familiar in this place, a feather flies out the sky and dances with the rhthym of its own flow – as I seek to fly with the bird and build my nest.

To be by the barn stocking on the hay, singing songs of freedom, as my thoughts are in the bay joining forces with the sea, within the grand creation of the ocean.

A hidden Sumurai – the way of the warrior, a buried Diamond that has found it’s way out the soil – the scorching heat of the sun melting the grounds and revealing the glistened beauty, yes the solid creation of earth itself. A secret Anthropologist working for a society that is – present in the highest heavens – activated on planet earth.

Bewildered it may seem but comforting as the breeze.

There is silence.

There are words.

There is silence.

Should I be a superhero and unleash my electrical powers in my super saiyan nature, but who will catch me.

An Aloe, evergreen leaking out the echoes of vera.

Do I uphold this as power?

Is this a cause for revolutionaries?

All aboard captain! Ai Ai. . . The ship is on the move..

We won’t be using ships this time, will we.

A drum beat – sounds of the heart of the jungle, rhythmic

glide of the feet of a poised Gazelle. A group of Zebra’s huddled together – their stripes confusing the adversary – Do you recognize me as I you?

The beat is pounding on the sands of the desert, the life force gushing through.. belting as the heart of the melody releases ripples in the modern world.

Here it comes: The art of existence, the masks of color, the oak.. settled in a promise spoken to a Spirit swallowed by the Sea – yet One was saved for the promise to one day be seen.

Run! Run! Run!

We cannot look back, we have forged a commune –

We are well aware. . Now one beckons..

 

Liberty, Liberty, Liberty.

O’ Fellow – I bow at you. Marvel at your. . muscular endurance –  Structure of the earth, treasures within the rock, territory of Life – Ye.

Kingdoms Collide.

Oceans Rise.

Yet we Remain.

What must I do.

What must I say.

Are we not an Indigenous people?

 

 

Dear Jesus XxXxX

I bet your looking at me now like what do you want now.

*smiles*

I never write my prayers out in public but thought to type this out. Right now, I wish I was up in the heavens singing with the angels and those pretty flowers I saw singing to you ever so beautifully, on the greenery by the pathway going towards the amazing waterfall in the centre of the city. Your throne is woah.. like woah.. this earth and it’s luxuries CANNOT BE COMPARED TO YOUR THRONE AND THE HEAVENS, AND ITS BEAUTY.  The city itself is unfathomable but your throne, is just… muuaaaad. This is something any man will know when they get the chance to see it, not only in prayer but in you inviting them to see you on the throne. I hope more people experience it, when they do hmm.. boy oh boy.. will they realize that The Fathers throne ain’t no joke! Jesus your on the right side of The Father so you kicking it back, chilling.. watching us all.. intervening with your mercy, love and forgiveness. The Holy Spirit, ahhh couldn’t be more greatful.. so so so greatful for such an amazing gift bestowed upon me. Thankyou Jesus, honestly.

Those flowers sounded so beautiful, better than any voice ever heard on planet earth, I remember I use to ask you to give me one of their voices lol every prayer haha but hey who knows maybe everytime we praise abit of pollen from those flowers in heaven gets put in our spirit to enhance our praises..

It feels different, our relationship. It seems like it’s grown, its been a struggle but a blessing. I’m blessed. I don’t say that much but deep down knowing you and what we have shared I know it. You seen me through so much. No one will ever know what you mean to me.. and to others you have also helped in this world too.. mad love to them! I’m still the little me that gets up and sits on my bed talking to the open space/air and literally catching jokes with you over things people would probably find weird, you still listen though.

No words will ever express so much of your love that you have shown to me. I may not be out there, and associate with the world much or even you know, be apart of the boxes of this society.. which makes me abit weird .. but i’m cool with that..

When I tried to be in the box you kept telling me off!!! Like man the punishments I got was bare weird like, it was as if you was here proper, like a dad would discipline his child in real life physical form. Your here though, I know. I feel you. I feel so honoured to know you and to experience your truth in my life. The battles we fought and the wars in the spiritual realms have been real.. Some went by silently.. it’s crazy, you somehow made me silent in them.. when they were so huge. I’d still be talking about you, telling others of you whilst battling in darkness. Was it to make me stronger? Or to be able to know that it’s better to trust you than to put trust in man? I firmed alot, barely had friends and was always home alone haha so had no choice but to kind of deal with life and the call the way you planned for me.. even when I tried to run and not be home you always called me back. I understand your providence in my life has been real, very real. You’ve actually taught me everything Christ. No church, no religious leader, or even my Ma taught me and trust you know she is faithful boyyy, it was you..the Holy Spirit literally guided me in everything I have come to know.

Everything I didn’t understand you would show me, all I did was ask. Visions, dreams, people along the way that came and just words they would say.. Journaling my whole experiences with you.. reading books and discussing them with you in my bedroom as always. I remember John many years ago when I was 17, Ma’s friend .. I remember he told me, the Holy Spirit was his best friend, that he would laugh with it..and sit down in his living room discussing everything and just be smiling. In my head I was thinking thats me though, I do that. He told me all this wide eyed with a face of love.. now I understand. I fully understand what he meant. From young I would talk to you sitting on my bed but you finally came to me and showed yourself to me in my bedroom when I least expected it. Thats when the talks elevated, thats when you became more real, even though I believed.. I wasn’t just sitting there thinking I’m just talking and hopefully you hear. So you do listen..the dove was real and BEAUTIFUL, all 5 of them. How many years of me just talking to the air and BAMMM you appear when i’m 19, your always there..you are always there despite how we feel, ain’t got nothing to do with the world like that. Its Love man, real love.. priceless.

You have held me up, through things I didn’t expect to experience earlier in life in the spiritual realms and later on till this day too. Theres purpose for everything, a reason for everything. My faith in you will never go. I just hope in you and pray with every part of me you never leave me. Your my best friend. I think now as I sit and ponder about this all i’m forced to be stronger and bolder than ever. You have been my solid holder, literally.. where would I have been.

Every experience, my diaries, my love poems, every deep emotion connected to the depth of spirit I have felt because you was there allowing me to experience all the things I journeyed through. I guess sometimes, I wondered why? Questioning my reactions, my actions, my thoughts, my being. How could such faith be tested ongoingly, but life is a battle of the flesh and the mind with the heart and our spirit. . . to those who seek realness in the pain and struggles of life within themselves and outside of themselves.. you walked it, so you know.. divine as you are.

Did you ever think why did the Father not take the pain away Jesus? When you had to carry that cross, even though you knew you had to die for the truth and for mankind to know that truth in themselves through your walk.. even though you knew it was what you were called to do.. You probably didn’t think at all right, you just said your will be done Lord, and then went along with the plan.

Its a serious life we live, the narrow way is very serious. You said it was a hard road but in the end leads to life, and that is life to the full a blessing you give your children who seek you in Spirit and in Truth. You were right. This I knew in my heart growing up that this world was no ordinary world and other worlds existed. Innocence is sweet, life a gift.

Theres things about this life that some people haven’t come to realize, some people are aware of it and others are not. I have  been in my little bubble with you for so long, in and out of this knowing. I was acting like Jonah once the bubble got burst it was like my whole world was over. I couldn’t be a baby anymore.

*smiles* Your proper my day 1 .. like literally.

Your the only one who kept your word to me in this whole life.

Psalm 27 said it well. So I had to grasp it for myself.. sometimes parents forsake their children.. and children forsake their parents. We are always to put our faith in you before everything. So at 12 when I made a decision to get baptized, after all the weird dreams you kept showing me ..I said it would always be you. I made a vow you would be my best friend. You seriously have been, it’s funny but true in my mistakes I’d secretly come back and cry it out, some things I never understood but man in my softness you did make me strong even when it appeared I was a pushover or just plain weak! Acting tough was me trying to be strong but it didn’t work lol. Life has been changing for everyone, for centuries.. everything you said about sin, righteousness and judgement of this world was true. We cannot deny it, the believers know. There own lives are a living witness to it.

We seen it before, we’ve seen too much before it’s time.

We have lived.

Your my roar.. fully exposed.

Its alot for me, for us all of faith. . but you said you’ll never leave us nor forsake us so I’ll trust you through it all. The journey of Long Life Souls in Narnia.

I love you Jesus.

So to the next part and stage of my life through this seemingly time travelling society, please take my hand and lead me, guide me on the narrow path continuosly, and I all I ask is just please don’t leave me man lol even though you won’t I just need to say that! You already know, you already know it goes. Let my heart to be courageous and kind, honest and loving. My spirit to always remain loyal to you and then to those close to me.

I hope my life will be a blessing to those around me, and that I’ll forever walk with you..knowing deep down You are my shepherd and I shalt not want for you will always make a way as long as I believe. Psalm 23 all day everydayyyyy, Ma did well making us recite that psalm from early.. word for word you know xxx

Let wisdom, knowledge, understanding, insight, foresight and your infinite Love abide in me all the days of my life as well as your goodness and mercy.

To All who have faith, let them continue being the warriors they are, bless their individual walk with you and let us all shine your light to a world that needs to know .. that our saviour lives and yes.. we all will see you face to face once again.

My Love for life, my first Love.. Thankyou Jesus..

In the name of The Father, the Christ and in The Holy Spirit

ONE xxxxxxxx

 

 

 

Once Again.

Lost Souls who came to find existence from the first pant of life. . some of us already knew the journey was to be something huge to embrace. Our eyes awakened to the air, the breeze of our surroundings.. tears rolling down our eyes crying ..vulnerable from the calm where we were protected in the warmth of the womb.

I often times wander what God was thinking creating us, his purpose in this all. Love seems to keep us standing, we cannot even define it.. somehow we truly believe in it’s essence.

We can feel from within.

To touch, to smell, to taste, to hear, to see..

It all has meaning, just to experience the nothingness in everything, the everything from what we seem to understand as nothing but truly is all in all.. of these series of events we ponder. We are exposed.

We’ve all been before. It doesn’t surprise me.

It makes me a believer, more for truth, for the goodness of God to live among men, for humanity to be better and grow to understand the depth of Love. Immeasurable.

Fresh air.

Life, once again.

 

 

I’m not your enemy.

Sometimes we worry so much about how others see us. Closing ourselves from who we are for fear of the worlds perception of our souls.

Reality is something we all try our best not to face, we cover it behind a facade of masks, desires, hopes and false imaginations.

We cannot force a way of life upon ourselves without feeling the effect of it being weighed from within our being. Each of us has a responsibility to open their eyes to the understanding of Life within themselves.

The only enemy one fights is the enemy within themselves and then they can see the enemy that looks through the eyes of others. Take the speck out of your own eye before you take the speck out of your brothers eyes, Jesus said. The complete truth.

With so much concepts, worldwide issues/social issues..and social movements in this system its ovbous that the enemy is at work among men, although we can create a more free world where boxes are not formed for us, men desire to conform to society masks than their own.

Many humans have existed before us, maybe we have been all that have existed and repeated ourselves over and over.. who knows but God? World boxes have given men the ability to pick: politics, philosophy, religion, theology, finances, business, entertainment, education and some more… aswell as creating factions between us all. The poor and the rich, the gangsters and the nerds, the barbies and the plain janes, the badboys and the soft boys, our countries of origin and our place of settlement. I often time find these all difficult to understand, as a living soul I have always felt weird about societys influence on how we see ourselves.

An ongoing issue of social movements creating fools out of people, attention seeking individuals, new challenges for the socialites and the popular individuals carrying an influence in the world today for better or for worse. Fulfilling purpose and maximizing our potential is the working of the inner man, the power infused within us from the beginning that the Unseen God has given us.

I am not your enemy if I fail to project your fears or mirror your emotions. Sometimes we learn these things to fall back into the trap and relearn it again, but when will we ever understand the reality of this system? Its an ongoing cycle of fear and love, hatred and war.. hardships and struggles, hunger and plentiful. Are there solutions that better the lives of every soul? Are the solutions already picked and chosen for us?

I cannot conform, and refuse to stay in a box.. this had been the process since I left school and entered college. Somehow it seemed like an un-necessary blur to me.

I may seem like an outcast not able to conform to the worlds ways, breaking free from the history of the snake that has travelled worldwide to hunt down many souls and destroy their unique one minded consciousness.. but I am not for it.

This worldwide delusion has corrupted many, made them choose their box without truly creating their own. It forces individuals to participate in the underworld dungeons of lies and deciet to gain a profit from society, which the system itself does unto a man. The game is a dangerous forfeit of ones own soul, exchanging a real inner truth of values and respect, honesty, loyalty, faith, love and righteousness for lies, hatred, a false way of life, stealing, killing, division, pride, wars and control.

Every man was born free to form his own box, to allow the universe within him to manifest his own being to light without conforming to whatever the system offers them to become as.

Am I a rebel? Am I a trouble maker? Am I a problem to you?

How can I be if I desire to think for myself and desire others too think for themselves too without the concepts embedded in them that was given to them.

There is much more to break down, if only we all took the time to know beyond the surface of just beating the system by trying to outsmart it. If only we knew the ins and outs of its belief set up plans, its strategy thinking ways and its one key resource to make men enslaved too it.

We have the ability to each do the same.

In an honest, hardingworking way… done for yourself in the service of others.

This Kingdom is laid down and taken over by those who desire to live in order to die to worlds concepts to arise in life eternal prepared to form a free world in collaboration with the Unseen Supreme God.

Am I your enemy? Never, I’m a citizen in the spiritual dimensions in Christ and in this elevation I seek to better our world for future generations to have more ideas to think from as well as coming from them – inspired by inflences but mostly connected to the source.

 

I am not your enemy!