Inner Conversations…

I think I explained it, I explained it enough.

These are not only feelings, it’s me. My very core being, you see.. it’s somehow drawn to him in a very natural but ethereal way. I’m like paper being blown by the wind and he’s somehow like a tree waiting to capture the paper in it’s leaves.

    This is not obsession its something in me that needs him, it doesn’t want.. and it isn’t in lack it just know’s he is what I CRAVE just to stare at him and hold him and then maybe run?

  To run would be strange, but yet again I understand how I feel about him would make me want to run.. to feel him and then run, this is something I know is completely from a different place.. I don’t really want to have to write this but I have to because my feelings matter, to me and to this secret bubble of enlightment. . . this embarkened journey of mystery where love has succombed me and somehow enrolled me in it’s path and it’s way that I could never have imagined. I’m here, I’ve landed and him.. well he is everything. He’s just everything but I can’t explain what I mean.. I’m so shaken by him, in a way where his being is my conversation – you know?

    My songs are inspired by my feel for him, but even this feel – how long does it last. Its a ribbon,  a beautiful bow – purple and yellow. . . inter-twined in a secret message. The fire calms down and the heat is present in breaths that are slow and sometimes fast, the darkness doesn’t seem to matter because I know somehow my sight is held by the Supreme Creator of all. Should I care how long it lasts, I dive into something whole-heartedly right?

    I could be crazy though, it could blow me away.. it could be so heated, X rated.. sweating and screams of closed and slammed doors.. running out to nowhere only because it’s so intense – only because it shakes my Spirit. I’ll be back.. I’ll be back I’ll promise myself but maybe I won’t maybe .. it could just drive me to the point of my own abomination to completely deny everything and then there I am.. again.. naked in the garden alone.. because I ran… I had it, tasted it and I was intoxicated by it’s beauty that I had to run.. why? Because she’s just .. she’s just too lethal and alone in her own essence – even though she appears calm and cool – it’s that calm that creates these perculiar ways.

    I don’t want to run though because I understand it’s him. Love is without pretence in which I comprehend you admire your truth of feelings but you never run, you stay put because it’s power is true.. so you must trust it.

   This is common no, it is.. she always desires to run, or she desires to not be held down.. or she just isn’t with men.

    I.. well I see his beauty, I see his treasure but in seeing this brings much chaos in me.. for It is too much to bare. The exposure of who I really be, it doesn’t come in much talking straight away.. neither is it all as it seems. Hence why the exposure is deep.. there is no hiding.. this is Vulnerability X rated.. madness known..

  Its a mixed emotion, to remain unseen but he’s like a cream that you can’t help but lick and the more it appears the more you are intrigued and the more you are intrigued.. well you are intoxicated by your own passion aren’t you?

Passion is decietful at times.. it’s harsh too … it’s not always sweet… it can at times be very powerful.. but it doesn’t make you fear.. only because its plainly evident that it doesn’t want to hurt you.

   Maybe because it’s celestial, the places in me.. I don’t want to over-indulge me.. maybe i’m reduced to silence again..

And then the wondering eyes looks around helplessly, holding conversations with it’s own inner self.

The mysteries of Love.

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