I have already been out of my mind, quite a few times. I know and understand there are reasons for this and The Father, The Creator of Life whom I hold dear in my heart.. yes whom is the very cause of my existence understands me greatly.
If this is my own imagination again, I couldn’t care less.. not anymore not after I know i’ve been wild in my unseen world for years.. since my childhood, situations simular to a maniac incident that passed me not too long ago.
To be deeply honest in myself, I am in Love. I am in Love with this man whom I do not know, and he has somehow captured my heart. Even though I try to deny it and push it away I can’t help but know inside it seems real. I’ve never had someone make me feel the way he does, NEVER. Could this all be me again, my own feelings ..making my ownself feel good. I don’t want to doubt it.
For once in my life, I can say I do love someone from a place which is my own secret, my hidden pains, my own weirdness.. and the unseen parts you know.. the strange things.. those in which I only keep for me. He makes me want to let go. He makes me want to be free again.. he makes me want to hold onto him and not look elsewhere just at him. He makes me want to cuddle and kiss him, squeeze him and whisper in his ears and play with his hair.
There are things that I know only we can share, only we can do.. he makes me shy, he makes me feel weird … and I have never spoke to him – I’ve only felt him and seen him through my souls eyes. I love him. I don’t know why.. well I do but I don’t want to explain I kind of want to forget it but it’s part of the reason why I do Love him. Love is a huge word.. but I know it’s to give all of you and hide nothing.
He makes me want to do that. Give everything and just say there.. take it. I don’t trust no one.. I find it hard to trust people but for some reason.. I want to trust him even though i’m a little scared too. As I said, it could all be my imagination but atleast i’m owning it and not ashamed neither writing a poem trying to express these feelings.. i’m just kind of saying it.
I’m always running, and I can’t run no more.. where am I going to run too next. Although I did have an option to run to another country with my mother but I weirdly declined.
Okay i’m just strange like extra-terrestrial strange.. a little past that .. I ain’t no alien but I’m just not there with humanity you know.. but I just go along, with it all. I know it’s not easy to be in Love in this world, theres always challenges but sometimes there’s that one person you feel you would want to go through those challenges with. He is that one person. It’s odd.. really odd.. I can’t see myself really being with someone cause i’m really weird like.. certain things you know.. i’m making myself seem crazy lol I actually am but it’s a different type.
He makes me want to scream, but I won’t scream.. like I want to escape this land of admiration and complete rushes of emotions in places way deep within me, but I’d have to run from him and when I try … my heart tugs me not too. Love is holding us all but somehow it has me looking at him.
To see him again, would be hmm.. I don’t know.. I’d be shocked, most probably gasping for air.. and trying not to look in his eyes but I’d have too.. looking inside of the eyes of someone who makes you want to melt!?!? Someone who can go beyond themselves with you and explore things unseen.. I guess. Make me a believer, make me believe it is not a dream… if your real.. only you know how to do that.. right?
Well i’ll extra-terrestrial myself out.. enough is enough.. dream or reality, i’m in reality but the thoughts might be a dream but yet still i’m awake so either way .. I can’t deny it anyway.
I’m just speaking the truth from the heart… hey! have abit of mercy on me stranger!