Should I take the slipper and run. . that would just be pathetic wouldn’t it. I know what it is I want, but it gets so frightening at time’s to know that all of you is actually seen and has been seen before-hand. Scary much? maybe or not quite so.
Being more than this dimension and knowing it makes me question alot of things about others and myself. For others it is no problem being there and understanding them, listening and being able to relate in some places or just merely say it how it is. I guess for myself I don’t really know what i’m meant to get, you know? The whole dream world and run away with prince charming is not in mind – how selfish to take prince charming and run away?
There’s such an intense, overwhelming and grand passion and desire within me – it has somehow been melted as one – a healing, a calm, a warmth.. a home I have come to understand. Open arms ready to welcome you and really give myself away to you. Do I know what that means .. well no.
It feels like intense silences, a touch and stares may somehow move that part of me. It’s everything isn’t it, theres no secret.. and I guess the easiest thing for me is to hear everyone else.. to make sure they are well.. but inside deal with me in my own way.. not really vocalizing my true inner desires to anyone.. only because I know being honest about EVERYTHING I feel would mean I’m more softer in his eyes than he would even know. To let go completely and lean into him as he me.. to allow the whole of me to soften as I know it can.. well.. it’s real.. it’s a big thing – for me anyways.
To need him is really true, I can’t deny that, he’s not just there as a prop – but to free myself completely.. wow .. this is raw – no ordinary love. His firmness to take it’s control as I know it should, this makes me ponder. I know I can drown.. where’s the lifeguard if he’s the ocean? I won’t even be able to find a boat to get on would I.. so i’ll just drown and then blend in with the ripples, turning into waves and then it’s over.. then everything I know I held up is gone. I’m leaning on you then..
I know your the lead and yes I respect you.. I honour you and give thanks to the sovereign one for the existence of such a stature of a man – to let go of me and enter you… it takes real courage. I hope you understand that.
Don’t ever think i’m crazy for being this way, the source is no game. . if you know, you know. Nothing is a smooth path unless entrusted to the one who hold’s all in all, and so my trust lies in the unseen, existence of realities unheard of .. the things we all hope for.
Some things fade overtime but this truth it doesn’t die, it is for you… ALWAYS existing before the foundation of the world.
Can you watch me disappear into you and give you everything, to tell you take me.. and love me. Can you do this?
For certain, we never know the plans of tomorrow or even the feelings assured for the days ahead.. but what we do know is what we believe and sense to be as of now.
For certain I know this mystery will expand in us both once we truly discover the dimensions within eachother in our secret place, just us two. Where no one can see but only our souls really aching for that far away land together can begin to explore the hidden worlds within us both. This secret we share, this hidden door we open no matter how crazy it may seem.
I guess it’s all for certain.. she beholds he and he beholds she – and realties unseen and what is hoped for is manifest in them both. The Unseen divine providence, the key to all worlds and empires. Sacred is the Christ alive in us, sacred the life that observes the divine law and sacred the one who’s dedication and loyalty remains in the word itself of force and acute dominance of all mankind.
For you and I both.
My Consecrated Love.