Estranged…

His hands pulled her in close, and he muttered words sincere into her ears. His breath circulating down her neck, swimming into the pools of her spine, melting into the pores of her delicate skin.

His hands held her hand gently, knowing the touch of her love could destroy his sanctuary –  he couldn’t hold her any longer. . She was weakening his heart the more she blocked his arms from touching her, the more she looked away the weaker he became. She showed no affection towards him, her eyes blankly looked into his, as his own spoke words that he did not understand. She tried to pull away from his gripped hands, but he wouldn’t let go.

He wrapped his arms around her, but her body was lifeless in his.. he kissed her neck and his own heart beated, but he never felt hers. . he always felt hers but why didn’t it no longer beat for him?

He looked at her, “Baby” he said ..

She looked away. He kissed her lips, and how sweet they felt, her small heart shaped lips hugged his but without hope. . they stood perplex in between his own. His soul vibrated strongly in his body, his heart realizing this was ending.. she was letting go, she was killing their connection. . she was destroying what she had come to know in the expense of her own freedom. ‘Did she love me this much, to grow this cold’ he wondered.

Deep down she wanted one last hold, one last warmth of his tender touch, his smile on her cheeks and his hands tickling her neck – her arms wrapped around his tummy. She wanted to jump at him and for him to catch her, to lay with her and stare into space. To laugh the whole night and share a sweet kiss. To share a dance in the living room, to ponder into eachother eyes and grin. To be silent with no words and listen to the atomsphere. She didn’t want anything fancy. . all she ever wanted was just him. . . his naked soul. That was too much to ask for because it wasn’t the simple story she expected. She was always scared, and so was he.

This feeling of fighting for something she never understood pushed her away from his hold even though it was the last thing she desired before walking away.

He knew.

He knew and felt it slip away.

He knew it would someday just disappear, it was too good to be true, it was just too good to be true.

He played with her fingers and walked more closely into her, until there faces were touching, he twirled her around – sat down on the sofa and pulled her onto his lap. She tried to budge, but he held her little waist.

“I know you love me, I know you love me” he whispered.

She continued on the urge to push away but he touched her tummy and she stopped budging. He closed his eyes and held her tummy, her heart began to beat with his but she quickly stood and ran towards the living room door. He managed to get to the door before her, and stood there staring into her. . He was softened by their wars of love that he had to keeping fighting.

She forced her way to the door handle, but he put his hands on the door. Tears rolling down her eyes, she said nothing.

His heart couldn’t bear to see her cry, but he had too.

His soul yearned to hold her, to cradle her and give her every part of his but she wouldn’t let him. She was pulling away. She was creating an empty space between them and he understood this was it – it was coming to an end. She was estranged. She was running away for good, and she was never going to come back again.

He didn’t want to let her go, he knew it would only destroy the part he had left to give. He needed to give it, but it felt too late.

“I love you” he said, “I love you more than words, and I don’t want to say this, but I have too.. your always in my heart and always on my mind. I may have done things to hurt you but I’ve done my best to make things right in me. I know you enough to know you love me beyond words too”. He looked down. She knew this was true.

“I love you enough, but enough has an end”

He stood there saddened, he didn’t want to plead and look like a fool, he had to just show her that she loved him.. he had to make her understand how much she really did care. His eyes were bloodshot and he shouted, he shouted aloud and ran towards the sitting room. He took the vase and smashed it, he begun to rip the curtains tearing them completely. He walked into the kitchen and took the neatly placed plates and smashed them one by one. She ran by the kitchen door and watched him yelling, fury in his face, trickles of tears ran down her eyes, she began to gasp – taking deep breaths. Her heart tugged her to walk towards him and her mind told her run, leave him. She listened to her heart and she ran towards him.

“Stop, pleaseeee…stop” Her eyes met his and her hands touched the next plate he was soon to smash. He looked back at her his fury beginning to calm down – she took the plate from his hands and they both sat down on the kitchen floor and she hugged him. They both cried, their spirits merging.. he held her so tightly, he kissed her cheeks.. he pulled her face to him and they intimately gazed into eachother, the atomsphere in their breath alone. He couldn’t breath, she was lost for air, he closed his eyes and pulled in close to kiss and in that moment..

 

 

She disappeared. She was gone. He opened his eyes feeling an emptiness come over him. He looked around.

“Babyyyyy” he shouted, he stood up the kitchen wasn’t a mess the plates were neatly stacked onto shelves, he went into the living room – the curtains were perfectly hanging loose – the vase was on the pure white marble table.

He held his head. Her spirit was estranged. She was gone – and there was no coming back. In whatever way he called, he knew she had moved on, she was just his imagination.. an old love lost.

She walked away, and left him with the memory of her Spirit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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