Despite the longing for love, she can’t really fall for it can she?
She will show you she cares, only to hide away. She will show you who she is, only to escape.
She’s not really escaping is she.
She’s tried, but Love although free, has somehow..
restricted her. She wasn’t born to growl, neither to bark, or to roar without a valid reason.
The knowledge of love burned her soul, ripped her into pieces – year after year.. her young soul growing and questioning the evolution of this ecstatic dance.
The worst happened, she still danced. Lonliness and she still danced.. wars took place and she danced – Oh how Love appeared not to be fair. Why wasn’t she allowed to fall, she had to stand through it all, even as her own enemy. When it seemed like she fell it wasn’t a fall, it was a trip that she understood.
Trips leave bruises. She may have tried to cover them but in trying to cover them she found pleasure in feeling their pain. Dabbing at the wound, laughing at how it hurt. .She found it amusing, even after the tears. So was she mad, no matter how sweet she may have been – even when she lied to her ownself.
O’ Sweet one, where are you running to?
O’ Fiery light of the existing one’s where are you going?
It is here you found yourself to be, where else can you flee to?
She didn’t need to be good enough, although she questioned how good she was. How good could she be, trying to balance her scales. Can she blame it on being a Libra.. the old wives tale. Seeking to balance her whole being each cell begging to be liberated and challenged to reach its ultimate balance and calm. There were times she wanted to bark – times she wanted to growl – times alone when she would whimper and other times there were no noise but SILENCE.
Does Love really capture us or the moment?
Way past the horizon where soul meets soul..
Does love really reside between the between.
I guess its a reflection of Spirit.
She could be helpless in this source, completely light as a flower, or a vicious weapon, lethal and untamed on the leash devouring all in her way?
Would she ever understand this source in her.
“Oh how I’d love to be loved” and so she imagines.
A courageous thought, that is. . . for to her it is not simple, her roar larger than herself. She is meant to love, to bow, to free her being and let loose all she is to whom? Maybe she just falls for the wrong one. The one who sees the weapon and manipulates it, is that what she deserves after all, didn’t she take the lead before he was supposed too. She is at fault, she deserves to be mad for love.. gagging desperately .. ferocious in the hallucinations – completely gone with the wind or maybe not quite so?
She’s built for silence, she’s built for simplicity. Shes built for smiles here and there. She rather hide her face than truly be seen, but if ever seen she must be gracious. She prefers the unseen though for in that world she see’s – Light that is, in that light darkness must be exposed.
The ladder of divine ascent.. she continues the mystery.
I guess the wrong one drives you mad, makes you see the insanity of their ownselves in you. . or you in them. We somehow want to figure it out, we all want to figure it out.. but she.. she.. believes its existence is somewhat a tool, a mere strategy, to glide in the omniscient existing source. . and yes she recognizes it can backfire onto her – This tool, this strategy we name Love can succumb her, to where ever her heart is set in that moment.
The heart is decietful above all things, yes – this she knows.
She has always been aware of it, but the heart has been too large to control, it somehow controlled her, until Spirit intervened yet still, the heart continued to overpower her soul – Oh how madness had to teach her, the game. . . the game she hated to play but stupidly found herself being cradled by it.
Never fully giving in but desiring to only walk away and disappear.
Unsatisfied by other ones uncertain natures. She would ponder, listen to them, at times fearful of their force. One must tap into the growl, it was impossible for her to growl on her own – she would ponder the growl, sit with the bark in her mind – but it just would’nt come out.
She somehow had to let the bark go, in order to return. The cycle consists of past, present and future. Is that why she is number 12 – simplify it, she is 3.
Maybe the wrong one had to come and intervene to show her, survival of Love doesn’t always come treading carefully. Sometimes you tread carefully and lose your sanity trying to understand things beyond your control, and in this .. yes, you become a victim to your misconceptions of realism. We then invent our own paths which then stem away from a reality we all participate in, one we all must find ourselves in – What are we though lights or darkness? We then, attack ourselves in everyway possible and we dig and dig, and dig and dig… yes and dig .. digging endlessly to therefore be controlled, therefore be used, and therefore become a slave. A slave to our misery because of our lack of knowledge, of ourselves, our being, our nature and in this does Love remain or have we fallen for definate this time?
Her nature was known to her but in the part that was yet still to learn, this was where the burn would take place.
Why must she learn?
Her essence knows the reality of this already.
It must do it again.
A hidden secret carried only waiting to be empowered by something greater than herself.
How can she ever percieve Love if she doesn’t trip, then fall and then rise to see all but rest hidden.
O’ how she’d love to be loved, but maybe that so ..would never be enough – would it?
It’s a relived beginning, a complete movie of human affairs, illustrated by sick participants, in need of a cure. Fairytales with beautiful endings but still a wonderful view from afar. Up close it’s some-what convincing to an extent but even so – it must be misunderstood so one can fully understand.
So what must she do, give all of her, if she longs for what is far out of reach in this planet, she must give all of her.. ALL OF HER. Come on, we all know. This is not something new, but if we are to form realities unseen, this is a remarkble taste, she must obey.
She understands this.
She understands this very well.
She cannot rule, unless she gives all of her.
If she desires to not be controlled she must give all, she must obey to the head of the order, so he may allow her to drive the course of action by her focus and intuition. Yes, she ought to be protected, she ought to be looked out for, why?
Can someone with such poise and grace be left alone in this omniscient ladder?
Its not a mess at all, its a detailed eloquent act of GOD. . revealed in his timing. Can she Love?
She’s always loved. A love that is unexplainable, yet she tries to interpret it. Can it be interpreted?
Can one see the Unseen God? Is her response.
*She laughs* again..
To be wrong means your right but to stay and play in the wrong means your already dead in the fight. To be right means you have plenty of chances to get it wrong but to stay consistent in knowing what is right means your able to govern the fight.
To be continued..
To be continued. . .