Dear Jesus XxXxX

I bet your looking at me now like what do you want now.

*smiles*

I never write my prayers out in public but thought to type this out. Right now, I wish I was up in the heavens singing with the angels and those pretty flowers I saw singing to you ever so beautifully, on the greenery by the pathway going towards the amazing waterfall in the centre of the city. Your throne is woah.. like woah.. this earth and it’s luxuries CANNOT BE COMPARED TO YOUR THRONE AND THE HEAVENS, AND ITS BEAUTY.  The city itself is unfathomable but your throne, is just… muuaaaad. This is something any man will know when they get the chance to see it, not only in prayer but in you inviting them to see you on the throne. I hope more people experience it, when they do hmm.. boy oh boy.. will they realize that The Fathers throne ain’t no joke! Jesus your on the right side of The Father so you kicking it back, chilling.. watching us all.. intervening with your mercy, love and forgiveness. The Holy Spirit, ahhh couldn’t be more greatful.. so so so greatful for such an amazing gift bestowed upon me. Thankyou Jesus, honestly.

Those flowers sounded so beautiful, better than any voice ever heard on planet earth, I remember I use to ask you to give me one of their voices lol every prayer haha but hey who knows maybe everytime we praise abit of pollen from those flowers in heaven gets put in our spirit to enhance our praises..

It feels different, our relationship. It seems like it’s grown, its been a struggle but a blessing. I’m blessed. I don’t say that much but deep down knowing you and what we have shared I know it. You seen me through so much. No one will ever know what you mean to me.. and to others you have also helped in this world too.. mad love to them! I’m still the little me that gets up and sits on my bed talking to the open space/air and literally catching jokes with you over things people would probably find weird, you still listen though.

No words will ever express so much of your love that you have shown to me. I may not be out there, and associate with the world much or even you know, be apart of the boxes of this society.. which makes me abit weird .. but i’m cool with that..

When I tried to be in the box you kept telling me off!!! Like man the punishments I got was bare weird like, it was as if you was here proper, like a dad would discipline his child in real life physical form. Your here though, I know. I feel you. I feel so honoured to know you and to experience your truth in my life. The battles we fought and the wars in the spiritual realms have been real.. Some went by silently.. it’s crazy, you somehow made me silent in them.. when they were so huge. I’d still be talking about you, telling others of you whilst battling in darkness. Was it to make me stronger? Or to be able to know that it’s better to trust you than to put trust in man? I firmed alot, barely had friends and was always home alone haha so had no choice but to kind of deal with life and the call the way you planned for me.. even when I tried to run and not be home you always called me back. I understand your providence in my life has been real, very real. You’ve actually taught me everything Christ. No church, no religious leader, or even my Ma taught me and trust you know she is faithful boyyy, it was you..the Holy Spirit literally guided me in everything I have come to know.

Everything I didn’t understand you would show me, all I did was ask. Visions, dreams, people along the way that came and just words they would say.. Journaling my whole experiences with you.. reading books and discussing them with you in my bedroom as always. I remember John many years ago when I was 17, Ma’s friend .. I remember he told me, the Holy Spirit was his best friend, that he would laugh with it..and sit down in his living room discussing everything and just be smiling. In my head I was thinking thats me though, I do that. He told me all this wide eyed with a face of love.. now I understand. I fully understand what he meant. From young I would talk to you sitting on my bed but you finally came to me and showed yourself to me in my bedroom when I least expected it. Thats when the talks elevated, thats when you became more real, even though I believed.. I wasn’t just sitting there thinking I’m just talking and hopefully you hear. So you do listen..the dove was real and BEAUTIFUL, all 5 of them. How many years of me just talking to the air and BAMMM you appear when i’m 19, your always there..you are always there despite how we feel, ain’t got nothing to do with the world like that. Its Love man, real love.. priceless.

You have held me up, through things I didn’t expect to experience earlier in life in the spiritual realms and later on till this day too. Theres purpose for everything, a reason for everything. My faith in you will never go. I just hope in you and pray with every part of me you never leave me. Your my best friend. I think now as I sit and ponder about this all i’m forced to be stronger and bolder than ever. You have been my solid holder, literally.. where would I have been.

Every experience, my diaries, my love poems, every deep emotion connected to the depth of spirit I have felt because you was there allowing me to experience all the things I journeyed through. I guess sometimes, I wondered why? Questioning my reactions, my actions, my thoughts, my being. How could such faith be tested ongoingly, but life is a battle of the flesh and the mind with the heart and our spirit. . . to those who seek realness in the pain and struggles of life within themselves and outside of themselves.. you walked it, so you know.. divine as you are.

Did you ever think why did the Father not take the pain away Jesus? When you had to carry that cross, even though you knew you had to die for the truth and for mankind to know that truth in themselves through your walk.. even though you knew it was what you were called to do.. You probably didn’t think at all right, you just said your will be done Lord, and then went along with the plan.

Its a serious life we live, the narrow way is very serious. You said it was a hard road but in the end leads to life, and that is life to the full a blessing you give your children who seek you in Spirit and in Truth. You were right. This I knew in my heart growing up that this world was no ordinary world and other worlds existed. Innocence is sweet, life a gift.

Theres things about this life that some people haven’t come to realize, some people are aware of it and others are not. I have  been in my little bubble with you for so long, in and out of this knowing. I was acting like Jonah once the bubble got burst it was like my whole world was over. I couldn’t be a baby anymore.

*smiles* Your proper my day 1 .. like literally.

Your the only one who kept your word to me in this whole life.

Psalm 27 said it well. So I had to grasp it for myself.. sometimes parents forsake their children.. and children forsake their parents. We are always to put our faith in you before everything. So at 12 when I made a decision to get baptized, after all the weird dreams you kept showing me ..I said it would always be you. I made a vow you would be my best friend. You seriously have been, it’s funny but true in my mistakes I’d secretly come back and cry it out, some things I never understood but man in my softness you did make me strong even when it appeared I was a pushover or just plain weak! Acting tough was me trying to be strong but it didn’t work lol. Life has been changing for everyone, for centuries.. everything you said about sin, righteousness and judgement of this world was true. We cannot deny it, the believers know. There own lives are a living witness to it.

We seen it before, we’ve seen too much before it’s time.

We have lived.

Your my roar.. fully exposed.

Its alot for me, for us all of faith. . but you said you’ll never leave us nor forsake us so I’ll trust you through it all. The journey of Long Life Souls in Narnia.

I love you Jesus.

So to the next part and stage of my life through this seemingly time travelling society, please take my hand and lead me, guide me on the narrow path continuosly, and I all I ask is just please don’t leave me man lol even though you won’t I just need to say that! You already know, you already know it goes. Let my heart to be courageous and kind, honest and loving. My spirit to always remain loyal to you and then to those close to me.

I hope my life will be a blessing to those around me, and that I’ll forever walk with you..knowing deep down You are my shepherd and I shalt not want for you will always make a way as long as I believe. Psalm 23 all day everydayyyyy, Ma did well making us recite that psalm from early.. word for word you know xxx

Let wisdom, knowledge, understanding, insight, foresight and your infinite Love abide in me all the days of my life as well as your goodness and mercy.

To All who have faith, let them continue being the warriors they are, bless their individual walk with you and let us all shine your light to a world that needs to know .. that our saviour lives and yes.. we all will see you face to face once again.

My Love for life, my first Love.. Thankyou Jesus..

In the name of The Father, the Christ and in The Holy Spirit

ONE xxxxxxxx

 

 

 

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