Understanding me, quietness in all parts of the heart. It’s strange to say, that realities are forced in pretence but I don’t want pretence with you. The idea of knowing it, it affects my response to what I genuinely feel for you. So much stories have been created fiction and non fiction and we analyse the sight we have, we remember what touches our sacred. I was never the one, I just questioned what it would be like to be it..know it or come close to it. Its you who makes me think about my own inner emotions, I’m soaring in myself.
Its not looking out at the world that captures me, its looking deep within my own heart. I’m moved by my own fragile electric impulses of interest, I have longed to be stood in a calm of my own state. No one interfering, just me.. and therefore feeling satisfied with just that. I ran knowing I was running, to chase was only wanting to believe I could catch it myself.. maybe then I can alter what it is and likewise it with me. Nothing hurts, because somehow everything hurt.. and pain was the stillness of what I planted in my imagination. Why should I talk or say anything, its not like we relate, wait I said it wrong.. I understand, but I’m just too much words from within. The wind captures it, its always on the go and my smile and emotions somehow dissolves. Whether it’s wanting to be left alone or walking away .. I wouldn’t beg you to stay, I trust the reasons of our ownselves are justifiable by what we surrender to in ourselves. Consciously you will and subconsciously you stray.. you cannot be something another chooses and neither can you be what you want anyway. Don’t ask me why, why won’t get us there.. don’t ask me when.. it only is that the progress relates to developing the nothingness as your friend. If every word I said could be understood then everything would begin again, every day. . . Darkness and light will war and armageddon would be revised in the time that time has constructed of itself. Yet still, seconds..minutes..hours..days..weeks..months..years.. go by developing the beginning as potential parts and I admire and watch. I want you to be strong so I stay away, I want you to feel me so I let you know I’m here. I want you to believe me so I become your words, your thoughts and contemplation. If something true is because of us then let it be everything and nothing. Its not hiding, its knowing your all already because your all is me. You will fight against your all because you are determined to pick and choose, you are eager to experience it. . And so when it knows you, it disappears. Only you must sense it and not forfeit what you have and who you are. You wish you didn’t have to explain it, but you do because our field of words are not in the atmosphere. . The atmosphere glides with the sensation that come from our sacred field. A touch in a touch, a stare in a stare.. a part in our many parts but you try and act as if you don’t care. You do care, you care more than you ever will know and it won’t change. Special is an understatement, remarkable makes it seem as an interest but no words.. this is without expression but life itself.. only inner sight is that which life creates. Our warmth is misunderstood but we understand, holding on to each other is like a need, a letting go that murders us time and time again we can’t bear it. We know it, our atmosphere explains it and it drives us into an intoxication that we cannot bear.. we run and stay in the same place and then we try to avoid it as it pulls us apart but closer together. Birds.. the beauty of wings.
Its as a sting, a sour taste.. the uncertainties we try to face buried in our intimate frustrations. . . We walk away, create space but the distance between us removes our inner peace, our hugs from within.. sharing it all was this why we parted . . Was this why we always questioned to find our own part. Understanding it takes what no one can do but you and I.. you realized when you saw me..I was drifting with me before you and you couldn’t fathom it.
They always will be our words within.